Norin's Bounce House of Pain

Commander / EDH Artifact Burn Group Slug Mono-Red Ramp

DrKubed

Creature (22)

• 1x Aladdin
• 1x Dockside Extortionist
• 1x Goblin Sharpshooter
• 1x Goblin Welder
• 1x Grinning Ignus
• 1x Harsh Mentor
• 1x Hellkite Tyrant
• 1x Humble Defector
• 1x Immolation Shaman
• 1x Imperial Recruiter
• 1x Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker
• 1x Loyal Apprentice
• 1x Magus of the Moon
• 1x Magus of the Wheel
• 1x Neheb, the Eternal
• 1x Purphoros, God of the Forge
• 1x Reckless Fireweaver
• 1x Runaway Steam-Kin *f-pre*
• 1x Torbran, Thane of Red Fell
• 1x Treasure Nabber
• 1x Viashino Heretic
• 1x Zealous Conscripts

Land (34)

• 1x Ancient Tomb
• 1x Mishra's Workshop
• 1x Prismatic Vista
• 1x Scalding Tarn
• 28x Snow-Covered Mountain
• 1x Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle
• 1x Wooded Foothills

Artifact (21)

• 1x Altar of the Brood
• 1x Basilisk Collar
• 1x Crucible of Worlds
• 1x Crystal Chimes
• 1x Defense Grid
• 1x Ensnaring Bridge
• 1x Extraplanar Lens
• 1x Gauntlet of Might
• 1x Genesis Chamber
• 1x Mana Crypt
• 1x Mana Vault
• 1x Mirage Mirror
• 1x Mox Amber
• 1x Mox Opal
• 1x Panharmonicon
• 1x Phyrexian Altar
• 1x Ruby Medallion
• 1x Sensei's Divining Top
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Teferi's Puzzle Box
• 1x Tome of Legends

Instant (5)

• 1x Chaos Warp
• 1x Fork
• 1x Mogg Salvage
• 1x Pyroblast
• 1x Red Elemental Blast

Planeswalker (1)

• 1x Daretti, Scrap Savant

Commander (1)

Enchantment (14)

• 1x Blood Moon
• 1x Burning Earth
• 1x Citadel of Pain
• 1x Curse of Opulence
• 1x Fiery Emancipation
• 1x Furnace of Rath
• 1x Impact Tremors
• 1x Outpost Siege
• 1x Price of Glory
• 1x Pyrohemia
• 1x Smoke
• 1x Splinter Twin
• 1x Stranglehold
• 1x Warstorm Surge

Sorcery (2)

• 1x Fireball
• 1x Wheel of Fortune

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Are you a troll, but still like to win? Do you wish your games of EDH would go longer and become exponentially more frustrating for everyone at the table? Do the moans and groans of your closest friends, mortal enemies, and smelliest neckbeards bring you unbridled joy? ...

“Norin's Bounce House of Pain" is exactly the deck you've been looking for. This deck wins, and when it doesn't win, you lose knowing everyone hates you. Come with me and I'll guide you through the wonderful world of Norin the Wary and all the pain he brings.

Basic Plan

Norin the Wary is an often underestimated commander. He's cheap, little, and can't attack. However he is nearly impossible to get rid of because he leaves the battlefield at any spell or attack, and if someone does manage to kill him he's dirt cheap to get back out. He'll trigger an ETB effect on nearly every players turn. So...

Enter The Battlefield Pain:

Purphoros, God of the Forge, Warstorm Surge, and Impact Tremors All trigger damage whenever Norin or any of his friends return. This is made even better using Panharmonicon. Torbran, Thane of Red Fell adds 2 more damage each time. Get Furnace of Rath out to double the pain again. Get Fiery Emancipation to light the world on fire.

Genesis Chamber means Norin brings a Myr friend back with him

Grinning Ignus lets you bounce himself by giving you the mana to recast him

Altar of the Brood and mill them away

Outpost Siege has Norin trigger damage when he tucks tail and runs

Pyrohemia lets you pump out the damage and Norin coming back home at the end of each turn means it’s always around to deal more pain. (Stack the end step triggers to have Norin return before Pyrohemia checks for a creature)

Key Combos

Kiki-Jiki, Mirror Breaker or Splinter Twin + Zealous Conscripts = Infinite haste tokens.

Splinter Twin + Goblin Sharpshooter any other X/1 creature = infinite damage

(First have Goblin Sharpshooter on the battlefield with either haste or without summoning sickness and any other 1/1 creature under anyones control. First cast Splinter Twin on Goblin Sharpshooter. Then tap Goblin Sharpshooter #1 to make a 2nd Goblin Sharpshooter. Tap Goblin Sharpshooter #2 and ping any 1/1 creature that isn’t the original Goblin Sharpshooter, killing it, untapping both Goblin Sharpshooter’s. Tap your original Goblin Sharpshooter to make a 3rd Goblin Sharpshooter. Tap Goblin Sharpshooter #2 targeting Goblin Sharpshooter #3. In response, tap Goblin Sharpshooter #3 to deal 1 damage to any opponent. The damage will resolve, Goblin Sharpshooter #3 will die, untapping Goblin Sharpshooter # 1 and 2. This loop can be repeated to kill the entire table.)

Add Basilisk Collar to Goblin Sharpshooter for a board wipe.

Grinning Ignus + Genesis Chamber in play means you get a myr token each time you cast it. Sac the myr token to Phyrexian Altar to cast Grinning Ignus and unlimited number of times. If you add Ruby Medallion nets you a colorless mana. Pump this into a Fireball and blast the table, or build the storm count up and blast everyone with Grapeshot. Alternatively use Staff of Domination to draw into the piece you need. If you’re missing a piece to get this started, Runaway Steam-Kin can get you there if you have 3R to spare. Spend 1R to bounce Grinning Ignus, cast it with the mana it gave you back. After 3 casts you will get RRR back and can rinse and repeat.

Stax

Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition, nor do they expect a mono-red stax player

Blood Moon, Magus of the Moon stop those pesky mana fixing dual lands (note: be very careful with Gauntlet of Might if either of these are in play).

Curse of Opulence paints a target on someone else’s back.

Stranglehold is a classic tutor shutdown.

Ensnaring Bridge Keeps their beat down pieces from attacking. Smoke keeps opponents from swigging out multiple times.

Defense Grid pumps the cost for anyone attempting to play on your turn.

Citadel of Pain punishes players for not tapping out, and if they try to ride it out Price of Glory takes care of them. Burning Earth burns players anytime their non basics are around.

Teferi's Puzzle Box will mess up a combo player’s whole afternoon.

Immolation Shaman stops multiple infinite combo pieces before they can win the game. Likewise for Harsh Mentor.

Treasure Nabber provides fun ramp that annoys the table with theft. Likewise for Aladdin. Hellkite Tyrant is a great way of stealing all of the gold artifact tokens generated off of Curse of Opulence.

Recursion

Sometimes despite your best laid plans, you need to get your stuff back.

Crystal Chimes will fetch you back all of your Enchantments.

Goblin Welder and Daretti, Scrap Savant can pull back any artifacts you need.

Special Notes

Torpor Orb should be destroyed on sight. Steal it with Aladdin blow it up with Mogg Salvage , fetch up Viashino Heretic with Imperial Recruiter for more repeated removal. If all else fails, Chaos Warp that sucker away. Also be on the lookout for Hushbringer, Hushwing Gryff, and Tocatli Honor Guard

Thanks

Initially inspired by Bouncy Castle Made more evil by Wait, What? Made more competitive by Norin the No Nonsense

Thank you so much reading. Upvotes are always appreciated. It is, as always, a work in progress. Comments and suggestions are welcome.

Top Ranked	Achieved #28 position overall 5 years ago Achieved #18 position in Commander / EDH 5 years ago Achieved #1 position in Commander / EDH Artifact 4 years ago Achieved #1 position in Commander / EDH Burn 4 years ago
Date added	5 years
Last updated	4 years
Legality	This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	11 - 0 Mythic Rares 43 - 0 Rares 13 - 0 Uncommons 5 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	2.74
Tokens	Copy Clone, Emblem Daretti, Scrap Savant, Gold, Myr 1/1 C, Thopter 1/1 C, Treasure
Folders	cool stuff, Non-competitive - Interesting, Norin, Future Decks?, Red