Planeswalker TOC - Quarterfinals
Features
KrazyCaley
17 March 2011
2316 views
Results
No. 1 Jace, the Mind Sculptor vs. No. 16 Nissa Revane
17 March 2011
2316 views
Results
No. 1 Jace, the Mind Sculptor vs. No. 16 Nissa Revane
Step 1- Does Nissa have a mind? Yes.
Step 2- Can her mind be sculpted? Yes.
Step 3- ???
Step 4- Profit
Winner- Jace, the Mind Sculptor
No. 2 Gideon Jura vs. No. 15 Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas
Cards ravaged, planeswalkers bleeding, about $120 worth of cards down the drain, and yet there was no other word for it but victory. The Goldschlager factor came close to winning it for Tezz, however.
Winner- Gideon Jura
No. 3 Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker vs. No. 14 Ajani Goldmane
Nicol Bolas, for PLUS THREE, from DOWNTOWN! He's on FIRE!
Winner- Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker
No. 4 Elspeth, Knight-Errant vs. No. 13 Jace Beleren
Yeah, yeah, Jace dies to the soldier tokens. This is the way of life. I hope you do something good with the extra cards he drew you. Baby Jace sacrificed himself so that you might have a fuller hand. HIS SACRIFICE MUST NOT BE IN VAIN. Today we salute....a real Blue hero.
Winner- Elspeth, Knight-Errant
No. 5 Garruk Wildspeaker vs. No. 12 Koth of the Hammer
In a shocking upset, it turns out that wood BURNS. Who knew?
Winner- Koth of the Hammer
No. 6 Venser, the Sojourner vs. No. 11 Sarkhan the Mad
In his mind, Sarkhan totally thought he was chainsawing Venser in half and laughing hysterically, but somehow that got translated in the real world into Sarkhan dancing around a burning scrub sponge while wearing a rubber chicken hat.
Winner- Venser, the Sojourner
No. 7 Sorin Markov vs. No. 10 Elspeth Tirel
Opinion is about evenly divided here. However, Elspeth kind of looks like Tara from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And Tara is friends with Willow, who is friends with Buffy. Buffy slays vampires. Sorin is a vampire. LOGIC.
Winner- Elspeth Tirel
No. 8 Liliana Vess vs. No. 9 Ajani Vengeant
Actually, this fight never even happened. Back up above in the third fight, Bolas killed Ajani SO HARD that he killed all alternate versions of him with the same blow. Lily gets the free pass as a result.
Winner- Liliana Vess
Quarterfinal Matchups
No. 1 Jace, the Mind Sculptor vs. No. 8 Liliana Vess
(movie voiceover) Jace thought that he had it all. But what he didn't count on.....was love. THIS SUMMER, it's an epic tale of a ridiculously high-powered and expensive blue planeswalker who will have to decide between the love of his life, who he selected despite her kind of disturbing lust for power and necromancy, and winning A POINTLESS OBSCURE TOURNAMENT.
No. 2 Gideon Jura vs. No. 10 Elspeth Tirel
This matchup could not possibly be more straightlaced. Both of these Planeswalkers went to bed early last night because their parents told them "Got to get to bed, slugger, got that big matchup in the morning!" Then they got up early, brushed their teeth, and put on their nice white uniforms.
No. 3 Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker vs. No. 12 Koth of the Hammer
Well, Koth, your timing is awful. If only you had come three or four sets ago when he was just Nicol Bolas, maybe you could totally deal. But someone pissed him off and he put down the book and picked up his permanent-destroying gun.
No. 4 Elspeth, Knight-Errant vs. No. 6 Venser, the Sojourner
I know he's the underdog here, but my money is still on Venser. And do you know why? The HELMET. I told you all not to underestimate that helmet.
So much less interested without my soul mates, Ajani Vengeant and Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas in the fight anymore. Now is the time for dispassionate analysis.
- Liliana, because f--k Jace.
- Gideon, because 'all your soldiers attack me. Then I attack you. The end.'
- Koth. There has to be some room for speed to matter in this tournament (which is why Ajani Vengeant and Tezz2 should've won last round, but i digress), and Koth has buried Bolas under a pile of angry mountains while Bolas is still trying to figure out which plane he left his second swamp on. Remember the wise words of Rhirhok, goblin archer: 'Nothin' beats rock.'
- Venser's -1 is SUPER UNDERRATED. and it kills planeswalkers. the end. Plus, Venser's ultimate totally negate's Elspeths.E: 'all of my toys are invincible.'V:'yeah, they're invincible . . . and in a different dimension.'As the last multicolor planeswalker who isn't a bastion of pure draconic evil, Venser digs deep to represented his biracial brothers and sisters.
March 17, 2011 7:28 p.m.
Joshwarudd says... #3
Lily V Vs. Jace, The Brain Farkler (W)
Jace goes to town working his black magic and negating any and all of Liliana's abilities... oh well maybe next time Lily.
Gideon (W) Vs Elspeth
Dear Elspeth, I dislike your making tokens so im going to taunt them. And then im going to kill you. Love, Giddy J
Special K (W) Vs. Nicky B.
Koth picks up a mountain and throws it at Nicky's face and he cries... oddly Nicol Bolas loses... Koth Wins
Elspeth V 1.0 Vs. My Cousin Vinny (W)
A friend of mine got a wizards artist to paint his Venser to look like Peyton Manning... it looked cool too. Oh and Venser just slams elspeth with his -1 and maybe his emblem if things get out of hand
March 17, 2011 10:47 p.m.
exarkun809 says... #4
JTMS vs Liliana.... c'mon. I mean.... .... c'mon. (JTMS)
Gideon vs Elspeth. Elspeth.
NB vs Koth. Nicol Bolas has to be summoned first for Koth to kill him. And once Nicol Bolas has been summoned, you die.
Elspeth 2 vs Venser. Venser.
March 18, 2011 11:42 a.m.
Alright, if this tournament was this time next year, Lily would pwn Jace so bad, just because in Innistrad block (the next one) she probably rules the plane. But, as it is now, and KC's judging, Jace is gonna own.
Gideon Jura FTW just because he's in the next core set. Oh, and he's going to become a 6/6, blow up all of Elspeth's tokens without dying, chuckle, and proceed to pwn Elspeth.
Bolas does not just pick up his permanent-destroying gun, he also shoots Koth with it. Win by Bolas.
Venser wins here, as he is multicolored and Elspeth is not. It just makes sense. Don't ask. Also he makes all his critters evade all the indestructible tokens. Kill.
March 18, 2011 4:51 p.m.
Jace vs Lilly The tournament can't afford Jace's contract fee's thus he doesn't show up and Lilly wins by default
Gideon vs Elspeth Elspeth is all "Oh I must help mirrodin by cause of my internal issues" where as Gideon is all "stfu get back in the kitchen woman" pimps slaps here into submission.
Nico vs Koth Nico a giant dragon. Unfortunately his plan is too convoluted and time consuming and since this tournament only exist on one plane and has a time limit Koth wins because he actually does something other than thinking maniacal thoughts and laughing evilly.
Venser vs Elspeth Venser is like "hello ladies" wink then Elspeth throws on the strap on and is like "bend over" and Venser's all "yes mistress, I am not worthy". Elspeth wins via submission.
March 18, 2011 6:34 p.m.
DeckBuilder345 says... #9
No. 1 jace, the mind sculptor vs. No. 8 Liliana Vess
Well shoot if jace has the hots for vess then of course he throws this match. He is afraid of the fury of hell and so he doesn't dare get a woman full of wrath mad at him.
No. 2 Gideon Jura vs. No. 10 Elspeth Tirel
I am giving this one to elspeth. She gains a little life, and then nukes gideon into oblivion.
No. 3 Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker vs. No. 12 Koth of the Hammer
Now normally dragons are really strong and beat everything... but where do dragons live? in caves... and where are caves located? thats right in mountains... and what does koth do? turns mountains against you! Silly sleeping dragon gets crushed in his own house. Winner: KOTH!
No. 4 Elspeth, Knight-Errant vs. No. 6 Venser, the Sojourner
Yeah see elspeth comes to the fight early, makes tokens gives them +3/+3 and flying and then makes them all indistructible all before venser can bring his exile ability to bear on anyone other than his own minions. Winner ELSPETH!
March 19, 2011 12:26 a.m.
Jace, Too Much Soy-Sauce is just too much for Liliana Villainess. She just can't take the MSG of the card advantage Mr. Jace gets with his Jacestorm ability. Liliana's heart gets broken by the secret Super Saiyan.
The Gid-Father takes the cake against Elspeth Total Request Live. Sure she makes tokens, but Gidiot's "COME AT ME BRO!!" ability makes it null and void.
Bolas vs. Koth.
Nicol "The Guy Behind every Plot Twist in everything lately" Bolas vs. Koth.
its not even a fair. Koth looks up at the Elder Dragon and iron bricks were shat.
Venser, He-Who-Does-Not-Bounce-But-Blinks facing Elspeth, She-Who-Creates-Tokens (where do those tokens come from anyway O_o). i don't even know what to think of this matchup. lets give it a happy ending and say they fell in love and had loads of kids that could create tokens, only to exile them the moment they're placed on the battlefield.
March 19, 2011 2:01 a.m.
Jace, the Mind Sculpter vs Nissa Revane
Jace brainstorms and bounces Nissa's Chosen all day, but then realises his loyalty isn't going up. On the odd occasion he fateseals, Nissa nullifies it by shuffling.
Nissa fetches her chosen champions to help in the fight against Jace, but then decides to make it clear that the elves are a dominant force and summons in another 30 or so.
Surprise result, Nissa Revane beats the hot favourite of the competition.
March 20, 2011 12:05 p.m.
Oops, took from the top on a decided fight instead of scrolling down to find the actual pairing.
Jace, TMS vs Liliana
Jace always has the threat of a fateseal to stop Liliana from tutoring for an advantage in this match up. He can also brainstorm to make up for the card loss she trying to throw at him.
Liliana can only disrupt hands on the way to the top, but since Jace gets to choose what he discards this is of little use.
Winner Jace.
March 20, 2011 12:21 p.m.
Gideon vs Elspeth Tirel
Elspeth summons in 2 soldiers to help in this fight, only to realise too late that they would rather take orders from him.
Gideon orders them to tap out, then proceeds to strike at the Knight without her bodyguard. Of course he doesn't kill her though, cos they fight for the same cause even if they don't do it together.
Winner Gideon
March 20, 2011 12:34 p.m.
Nicol Bolas vs Koth
Koth shapes the very land around him and swings at Mr Bolas with the force of an entire mountain range.
Bolas, being the manipulative type, whispers in Koths ear that he knows of a secret artifact that will help fight the phyrexians, and sends Koth on a wild goose chase, recovering 3 of the 4 loyalty counters he lost in the attack.
Winner Nicol Bolas
March 20, 2011 12:44 p.m.
Elspeth, Knight-Errant vs Venser, the Sojourner
Elspeth creates a token with the intention of beating venser in the face with fliers next turn.
Venser makes everything unblockable and swings at elspeth before any of her other shenanigans get going.
March 20, 2011 12:54 p.m.
Prophylaxis says... #17
- jace, the mind sculptor These two planeswalkers can't kill each other. Usually, this would mean coin toss time, but JTMS neuters all of Liliana's abilities with his own - counter her +1 with his 0, and counter her -2 with his +2. So for the sake of neutering her abilities, Jace gets the thumbs up.
- Gideon Jura
- Elspeth makes 3 1/1 Soldier tokens. Loyalty goes down to 2.
- Gideon activates his +2. Loyalty goes up to 8.
- Elspeth's soldiers attack. Loyalty goes down to 5.
- Gideon goes berserk and annihilates Elspeth with his 0.
If only Koth made a 5/5 Mountain then he would have won. If only. But Bolas just blows 'm up.
- Elspeth, Knight-Errant
- Elspeth makes a Soldier token. 5l.
- Venser exiles something random. 5l.
- Elspeth buffs the token and swings. Venser has 1l.
- Venser exiles himself. 3l.
- Elspeth buffs token and token kills Venser.
March 20, 2011 9:28 p.m.
Battlecry1986 says... #18
JTMS vs. Liliana
Liliana finds out Jace has been sleeping with sluty girls around the Multiverse and smashes him in the head with a Golf club. Jaces game is never the same after. (Its a long fall from the top)
Gideon vs. Elspeth
Elspeth because I think if she was real she would be really hot.
Bolas vs. Koth
Koth because hes new and cool and he doesnt cost 40,000 mana to cast.
Elspeth vs. Venser
Who the F*ck likes Venser anyway brainless Allies
March 21, 2011 9:05 a.m.
Ew.
JTMS vs. Liliana
JTMS, which just sucks.
Gideon vs. Elspeth
Gideon, simply.
Bolas vs. Koth
Koth As stated above koth hits him with a mountain........ and then Slagstorm
Elspeth vs. Venser
Venser, because he's in Distant Memories helmet and all. :p
March 22, 2011 1:12 a.m.
mechanistorange says... #20
JTMS vs. Lilliana
Lilliana gets sculpted. Sad day.
Gideon vs. Elspeth
Gideon uses his O, wins.
Bolas vs. Koth
Koth: "Oh hey, I'm new around here"
Bolas: "Oh yeah?" +3
Winner: Bolas
Elspeth vs. Venser
Helmet ftw. "Can't touch this"Winner: Venser
March 29, 2011 6:15 p.m.
KarnAgentofBolas says... #21
JTMS vs Liliana: JaceSorry he just wins games by himself.
Gideon vs Elspeth: GideonHe's just tactical.
Bolas vs Koth: KothBolas holds up paper over his face. Koth flings a mountain at it. Paper dun beat rock no more.
Elspeth vs Venser: ElsepthShe's just too good for Venser.
March 29, 2011 10:28 p.m.
Charlie_war3 says... #22
Jace loses to Liliana because no one can find a real Jace and his little brother gets his ass beaten again for his older brother being missing.
Elspeth summons a token that looks like her and Gidean who we all know is in love with her chases the token, who suddenly is a 4/4 flyer, while elspeth makes everything indestrucktable and Gideon gets S-C-R-E-W-E-D and his parents visit him in the Rape Crisis center. She only managed this because she swithced with her identical twin.
Dragons live in mountains so koth breaks Bolas' house. Bolas gets pissed and throws his book at koth, then turns into plansewalker and uses hello kitty to kill koth. Fat lot of good no one being prepared for the hammer did koth.
Elspeth just summons 1/1 tokes and Venser takes control of them. then she does it again and what the F*** she is out of loyalty so she is annihilated by Venser's "Thingy".
April 23, 2011 7:30 p.m.
DeckBuilder345 says... #24
We have been waiting for the promised results to be delivered to us since KC left a long long time ago.... i think we were also mid draft?
Any how there has been not a peep from him since he got busy. Too bad really cuz he was a great contributor here.
August 17, 2011 5:50 p.m.
Jace, The Mind Sculptor.
His utility and card advantage puts him over the top.
Gideon.
Despite my dislike of him, I've been convinced that he is of some use.
Koth.
Mono and stark raving mad, his ultimate is fast and devestating. Costs less.
VENSER
He is amazingly underated he is incredibly versatile, it's just that it takes some brains to see how he works! I am the # 1 fan of this guy. Any questions just comment on my page and I'll give you a short tirade on why he blasts elspeth's face off. As the short answer this skit should answer.
Elspeth: Hah now with my dying breath all of my permanents are indestructable.
Venser: (casts an instant) oh sorry you're exiled.
sporkife says... #1
Jace PMS v A Villainess
Despite her epically evil win-ness, Lili just doesn't quite cut it, especially when her first ability is neutered by Jace's 0 and her second ability gets slaughtered by Jace's first.
Gidjin vs Elspeth Tired
Elspeth is like...tokens! Gideon is like...KILL YOU DEAD. Gideon.
Nicky B's Diner vs The Hammer
and BOOM goes the dynamite, also known as Koth's face.
Elspeth, Knight-upon-Errands vs Venswerve
Elspeth just makes dudes and swings them at Venser's face, and he can't do jack about it. Ah well. Elspeth.
March 17, 2011 6:22 p.m.