Kitchen Table Chaos: Episode 2 (part 1)

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mtg_deckmaster

26 March 2013

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You unlock this door with the key of creativity. Beyond it is another dimension. A dimension of combos, a dimension of chaos, a dimension of the cards. You're moving into a land of both victory and fun things and ideas. You just crossed over into... The Kitchen Table



With this casual series, I will be taking an idea, whether it be a combo or theme, and making 2 to 3 decks out of that idea. This will hopefully draw in more, newer players and possibly give you new deck ideas. So, what're we waiting for? Let's do it!!


One of the most disheartening things to gaze upon during a match is a board lock. Board locks, if you don't already know, are a state in the game when you are unable to perform a vital part of the game, such as draw cards, untap permanents, declare combat etc. Decks built around these are affectionately (or bitterly) called prison decks. But side affects of playing against a prison deck are:

  1. Nausea, in the form of pure dread

  2. Unadulterated rage, the urge to flip tables in a single bound

  3. Denial, the mental state of defeat

  4. The sudden urge to kick puppies and cute things

Now, the douchebaggery (I made a word!) of prison decks varies. Top dog douchbaggerey is the Stasis lock. But Turbofog could move up or down the list depending on the person and the situation. But this is the Kitchen Table, so we aren't going to make anything too over the top. So, enough banter, let's build!!


General Surgeon's Warning: Children under the age of 5 should avoid the production of prison decks. It is a health issue. You've been warned.

Let's actually start with one of my older decks. It is a white Turbofog that has built in graveyard hate and a mill win condition. Now that I look at it when I'm a little more experienced, it seems a little clunky. But it uses Rest in Peace + Helm of Obedience to make an infinite mill strategy. Isochron Scepter makes pretty much all the spells repeatable. Isochron Scepter and Silence + Island Sanctuary makes a good board lock state. It managed to piss off a couple people, only falling short to a faster deck. Here it is, in all its locky glory:


Turbo-Helm

Land

18x Plains

Other Spells

4x Angelsong

4x Dawn Charm

4x Ethereal Haze

4x Holy Day

4x Pollen Lullaby

4x Silence

3x Island Sanctuary

2x Leyline of Sanctity

4x Rest in Peace

2x Helm of Obedience

4x Howling Mine

3x Isochron Scepter


The next deck is sure to get a kick out of the whole table, minus your opponent. Think of a prison deck. What colors do you think of? Probably not Red or Black, am I right? Well, as weird as it is, this next deck is a Red/Black Pits Deck. The controlling lock is Death Pits of Rath + Caltrops. Wipe out all creatures. That sounds like fun on a bun!! How about we force them to attack? Let's use Curse of the Nightly Hunt. But, how will we ensure our opponents have creatures? Maybe the Hunted cards from Ravnica, City of Guilds, or even Varchild's War-Riders. Blood Artist would round out the deck as a bonus for all that death. All in all, it isn't really considered a prison deck, but our opponents will have a major shortage of creatures. Here it is:


The Pits

Land

4x Blood Cryptfoil

4x Dragonskull Summit

4x Forbidden Orchard

3x Mountain

7x Swamp

Creatures

4x Blood Artist

4x Hunted Dragon

3x Hunted Horror

4x Varchild's War-Riders

Spells

4x Dark Ritual

4x Caltrops

4x Curse of the Nightly Hunt

4x Death Pits of Rath

3x Demonic Tutor

4x Hymn to Tourach


Well, I hope you enjoyed this week's episode of Kitchen Table Chaos. If you have any- oh no! What's that? No!! Get out of here!! Help!! A polar bear standing on an ice cube of dead animals is attacking me!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-

Will mtg_deckmaster survive? Find out next time on Kitchen Table Chaos

The next article in this series is Kitchen Table Chaos: Episode 2 (part 2)

Kre says... #1

Orim's Chant is a better Silence effect. the only time I can see silence as a better card is if there is something like Leyline of Sanctity on the field.

March 26, 2013 10:38 a.m.

SwiftDeath says... #2

that blank comment is mine btw. and that the pits deck is hilarious for a concept deck.

March 26, 2013 10:41 a.m.

The Pits could use a few copies of Sleeper Agent .

March 26, 2013 12:59 p.m.

DarkHero says... #4

Treacherous Pit-Dweller for The Pits??

March 26, 2013 2:28 p.m.

mtg_deckmaster says... #5

SwiftDeath

Orim's Chant is a better card, but the deck is a real deck I actually put together. I can't afford Orim's Chant , but if I could, I would grab a set in a heartbeat.

SupremeAlliesCommander

Wow, I actually never thought of that card. It would be good. I will change the actual deck from the link.

jmallette1

I like the pit theme. I'll add in a copy.

March 26, 2013 4:17 p.m.

Sleeper Ascension is one of my favorite casual decks, so I'm familiar with Sleeper Agent . The namesake card has a great flavor, terrific artwork, and it makes people pull their hair out.

March 26, 2013 5:13 p.m.

DarkHero says... #7

mtg_deckmaster

its more than just the pit theme it should fit your strategy pretty well. Not only is it a 3/4 for 2, but when you lose it all your doing is playing you opponent right into your hands.

March 26, 2013 5:35 p.m.

DarkHero says... #8

sorry 4/3 not 3/4

March 26, 2013 5:36 p.m.

mtg_deckmaster says... #9

SupremeAlliesCommander

I looked at the list. It is an awesome concept! I like it!

jmallette1

Oh, I never thought of it like that, in that case it is better than I thought. Thanks!

March 27, 2013 3:50 p.m.

Weston Ayarza says... #10

Venser, the Sojourner +Stonehorn Dignitary + Walk the Aeons +Mnemonic Wall =Infinite turns/no combat phase for your opponents.

March 31, 2013 10:54 p.m.

Weston Ayarza

That's really awesome!! I will do a Venser episode in the future.

April 1, 2013 5:21 p.m.

Weston Ayarza says... #12

The funny thing is I made the deck to be able to win against my friends eldrazi ramp. Turn 4 Emrakul, the Aeons Torn just didn't seem right to me.

April 1, 2013 7:58 p.m.

Weston Ayarza

Lol, that's some bragging rights on its own!!

April 2, 2013 10:15 a.m.

MyRevival says... #14

Is it just mine or does Emrakul, the Aeons Torn come up as Dratini in Weston Ayarza's post? Seems much less scary. I remember being scared of Emrakul...

April 5, 2013 11:23 p.m.

Weston Ayarza says... #15

april fools day they changed the pictures for the cards. lol

April 6, 2013 5:56 a.m.

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