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Affinity for Rubber Chickens (Chiss-Goria EDH)

Commander / EDH* Affinity Artifact Battlecruiser Mono-Red

seshiro_of_the_orochi


Ladies and Gentledudes,

The Forge presents* to you...

Drum Roll

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...Chiss-Goria, Forge Tyrant, the big scary dragon that likes anything artificial, e.g. squeaky pet toys.

Ok, maybe those are pretty massive pet toys. Ever been hit to death by a rubber chicken? Well, now you will be!


Once again, a straight-forward deck with some twist. Chiss-Goria comes down rather early for a 5/4 hasty flyer due to cheap artifacts. As soon as Chiss enters the board, he'll attack to drop something massive. Besides the ramp that our commander will hit from time to time, the big artifacts can be divided in some sub-categories:

Bosh, Iron Golem,Combustible Gearhulk, Metalwork Colossus, Myr Battlesphere, Phyrexian Triniform, Scuttling Doom Engine, Walking Skyscraper, Wurmcoil Engine, Sandstone Oracle, Steel Hellkite, Hexplate Wallbreaker

These enter the battlefield accompanied with a loud wooooow from around the table. They are big, they are scary. They deal damage.

Argentum Masticore, Steel Hellkite, Duplicant, Meteor Golem, Spine of Ish Sah

These will come down and kill something, or in the case of Masticore and Hellkite, they won't blow things up immediately, but they'll do it later repeatedly.

Feldon of the Third Path and Goblin Welderfoil are pretty efficient ways to reanimate a rubber chicken or two. Those combine neatly with Slobad, Iron Goblin, which will usually give us quite a lot of mana. Churning through cards while chaining Sandstone Oracle and Spine of Ish Sah turn after turn can be very impressive.

No deck is complete without the pieces that make it hum...well, rather squeak:

Besides the already mentioned Slobad, Iron Goblin, this is our ramp:

Arcane Signet, Commander's Sphere, Fire Diamond, Lotus Petalfoil, Prismatic Lens, and Sol Ring are usual suspects at this point. They are cheap and accelerate us, in this deck even more than in others.

Foundry Inspector helps us with permanent ramp. The more mana we have in general, and the more stuff we want to cast, the better it becomes.

Frogmite,Sojourner's Companion and Frogmyr Enforcer are basically free most of the time, so they are listed as ramp with our commander.

Gilded Lotusfoil, The Mightstone and Weakstone  , Thran Dynamo and Unstable Obelisk are ramp with extras. They either give us a lot of mana, or they represent removal and/or card draw, either of which makes them totally worth dropping with Chiss-Goria.

Thanks to being incredibly lucky sometimes, I lately pulled Karn, Legacy Reforgedfoil from a pack. He's a powerhouse in here, being usually large while giving me a huge mana burst every turn.

Faithless Looting, Seize the Spoils, Thrill of Possibility, and Unexpected Windfall are great ways to draw cards in general. Imposing Grandeur was already powerful in my Moraug, Fury of Akoum list, but here, with a commander with an MV of 9, it's simply ridiculous.

Sandstone Oracle is a way to draw cards that synergyzes with big parts of the deck. Chiss-Goria can cast it. Goblin Welderfoil and Feldon of the Third Path can reanimate it for additional value.

Loyal Apprentice and Mishra's Bauble are cheap ways to get more artifacts.

Clock of Omens could basically be in any of the categories so far: It ramps by untapping a mana rock, or it protects me by untapping a creature. Due to that flexibility, the value section is where I see it. I could also use it to untap Phyrexian Colossus.

Reckless Handling is a cheap tutor that could hypothetically help me close out very close games.

I already mentioned some of these cards in the rubber chicken category, so I won't repeat their use here.

Abrade and You Find Some Prisoners deal with artifacts and each have an additional mode in case there aren't any dangerous ones.

Chaos Warp is an all-star, dealing with everything that could annoy me.

Unstable Obelisk, Urn of Godfire, Bumbleflower's Sharepot and Universal Solvent are cheap artifacts with removal attached.

Shiny Impetus is creature removal that gives me treasures.

Tormod's Cryptfoil is gravehate, while also being another cheerio.

Blasphemous Act and Karn's Sylex are my boardwipes.


Deck and description are finally both at a good point. I could add expensive artifacts if I wanted, and there are obvious possible upgrades. But for now, I really like where this is at. It's really aggressive and fast, dropping battlecruiser cards at an insane rate. I wouldn't have guessed I'll like it that much, but my inner Timmy just feeds on stuff like this. I appreciate each and every feedback, thanks for your time, and may the forge be with you.


*The Forge only presents described enormous flying death lizard. We take no responsibilities for any chewed-off body parts or other lethal or non-lethal injuries resulting from watching it. Interfering with the dragon's sqeakies can't be advised. Oh god, PLEASE stay away from its sqeakies.


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97% Casual

Competitive

Revision 60 See all

(1 month ago)

-1 Mountain main
+1 Shrine of the Forsaken Gods main
Top Ranked
Date added 1 year
Last updated 1 month
Legality

This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

8 - 0 Mythic Rares

26 - 0 Rares

29 - 0 Uncommons

19 - 0 Commons

Cards 97
Avg. CMC 4.27
Tokens Copy Clone, Emblem Daretti, Scrap Savant, Food, Gnome 1/1 C, Myr 1/1 C, Phyrexian Golem 3/3 C, Rebel 2/2 R, Thopter 1/1 C, Treasure, Wurm 3/3 C w/ Deathtouch, Wurm 3/3 C w/ Lifelink
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