"Pain now is an investment in future gain!"
At Athreos' Independent Banking Company we understand you, and know that your life is yours to spend. But reckless spending can be dangerous, and there are people out there who would seek to steal it from you, or worse, bankrupt you entirely!
The pantheon of recently reformed Gods of Reasonable Deals, understands this, and offers you with this once for your lifetime deal!
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$$$ AMAZING VALUE $$$
Athreos, God of Loan Repayments and Erebos, God of Mortgage bend to your will! Make those who would seek to steal your hard earned life savings pay!
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NOW WITH MORE SHEEP FOR YOUR BUCK!
We here at AIBC Inc. know how important your life is to you, but we also know how important your opponent not having life can be. Our patented (pending) ShinySheep formula of 'gain life to spend life to make them lose life' just can't be beat!
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DIE TODAY, LIVE TOMORROW!
Death happens, but you're a busy planeswalker, and dying gets in the way of your YOU-Time! Don't be a stiff in the mud, be the lifegain of the party! Whip-it, baby! Whip it Good!
Existing members of AIBC Inc. now have Athreos' Own life insurance, the only plan guaranteed* to leave your opponent worse off than you!
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LIVE TO SPEND, DON'T SPEND TO LIVE!
We recognise that things don't always go to play. That's why Athreos' Independent Banking Company comes feature packed with an all-inclusive Sideboard.
Bant-Planeswalkers getting you down? Glare of Heresy!
Removal cramping your style? Dictate of Erebos!
Red Deck Winning? Boros Borossing? Drown in Sorrow!
Creatures all up in this joint? Extinguish All Hope!**
Constellation? Gods? Can't make up your mind? Just Deicide!
Brand new! Elspeth, Heliod's once champion, now chilling in Nyx for a limited time (all eternity) and available for you!
Order now and receive two standard all-season tickets for the price of one!***
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*Guarantee void if exposed to Scavenging Ooze.
** DISCLAIMER: Does not extinguish Hopeful Eidolon.
*** This deal invalid after October 2014.
