Skip to the final paragraph if you just want to know what the deck does.
The children of Theros are familiar with the story of Grund and Kolik:
Grund and Kolik were the most esteemed of scholar-warriors in the goblin stronghold of Ugly Rock. Their demonstrated skill had earned them the trust of the conventionally skeptical community, so much so that the safety of the very city came to be entrusted in their hands.
One day, after tiring of the drudgery demanded from perimeter patrol, the two decided to take to the noble task of torturing the local weasel population. But as Kolik was experimenting with the differences of taste between the red and the slightly-less red weasel, a strange presence began to manifest, until from the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of a radiant white blur darting between the trees. As intrigued by shiny things as the weasels stuffed in her ugly maw, it wasn't difficult to convince Grund to comb the woods with him to investigate the source of this magnificent luster.
Although the time and effort expended in the search defied all previously established conceptions of the goblin attention span, the most which was to be seen for days was but the alluring blur of the uncanny creature. Until Grund contrived an ingenious plan: Stop setting fire to the forest as a mechanism of marking that which had been previously explored. Sure enough, after the two had stopped blaming the forest fires on the devious squirrels of the woods, they had a breakthrough.
Diligent in to the most pointless of endeavors, the weary adventurers had followed this strange creature to the peak of Ugly Mountain. Pushing through the final shrubs which shrouded the summit overlooking the valley, they were met with a devastating scene: Ugly Rock was enveloped in twisted roots, winding in and out of the homes of their most beloved friends and comrades. In the midst of the ruin, there flew the flag of the Soldiers of the Quarry. "By the fire of Purphoros' forge," screamed Kolik "there it is!" Gracefully postured over an adjacent stream was a
Noble Quarry
!
"A unicorn!" exclaimed Grund, "Good eatin'". Struck with inexplicable awe and not very unusual hunger, the two proceeded to advance upon the dazzling creature. Readying their weapons the two positioned themselves to attack, and with an unrelenting fervor, they dug their spear/dagger/axe hybrid tools into the beast. The unicorn gave a startled grunt, then an irritated snort, and ran off into the forest.
So preoccupied with the indignity of the meal which had just walked away without even showing minor levels grief for the wounds which it had suffered, our two heroes were left unprepared for the Wasteland Vipers slithering from out of the shadows. The last thing which ran through their minds before the snakes sunk their fangs into their soft flesh was that which goes through most goblin's minds before death: deep confusion.
The moral of the story: If it seems too good to be true, just keep eating weasels.
Wonder why the
Noble Quarry
got away? It was blessed with the Gift of Immortality. So while Grund and Kolik (your opponent's creatures) were distracted in hunting this benign but magical creature, the Soldiers of the Quarry (your awesome and sexy creature base) were able to gather their forces to demolish Ugly Rock (your opponent) with ease. Frontline Medic and
Golgari Decoy
can also be used to fuel the combo, but that's not as cool an immortal unicorn, so they were omitted from the story.
