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All the Letters in the Alphabet but I only get W's

Commander / EDH* Artifact Combo Land Destruction Multiplayer Stax WUB (Esper)

Camel-Senpai


Sideboard

Creature (1)


Maybeboard

Creature (1)


The most money you'll ever spend on not having a solid win con

You go to Friday Night Magic. You sign up for EDH and think to yourself that you hate win cons. You think about playing your Sydri deck, but then you decide against it because no one will want to play with you again. You play your Atarka deck instead, because you felt like having fun. Someone shut you down with an Island of Wak-Wak that they had out on turn 1. Everyone focused you. You go into the next game not caring about fun any more. You want to blow up lands. You want to keep people from attacking. You want to one-shot one person on turn 6. You want to tryhard while not trying hard. You pull out your Sydri deck.

You run over a tenth of your deck as tutors because you are tryhard. You search out Mycosynth Lattice first because you are tryhard. You blow up everyone else's lands because you can turn them into 0/0 land creatures for 1 mana because you are tryhard. You do this every turn until you have Caltrops out, which you will use to stop anyone from attacking you by leaving 3 mana out because you are tryhard. You play Arcum Dagsson and untap him with Fatestitcher to destroy anything that isn't a land because you are tryhard. You repeat this until the enemies have no more noncreature artifacts in their deck. You have Aven Mindcensor out because you want to avoid the enemy getting a decent card on the board. You play Nevinyrral's Disk and get either Darksteel Forge or Avacyn, Angel of Hope on the next turn, and proceed to wipe the board every time your turn comes around because you are tryhard.

You get five mana. You feel like gaining 40 life. You feel like killing someone off immediately. You want to do this efficiently. You play Stuffy Doll and Guilty Conscience and choose whoever you think is going to have the most fun. You try to do damage to that player by blocking with Stuffy Doll after he has left, but the judge rules against it.

meme

You want to boardwipe. Your opponents' creatures are all hexproof, indestructible, shrouded, and have protection from all color. You do not worry because you have a solution. You play Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite and attach Blade of Selves to this beautiful, pure maiden that invokes so much lust in me. Once this image of literal perfection swings, all of your opponents' creatures will temporarily have -6/-6, are are subsequently sent to the graveyard.

You have not won the game. It is 87 minutes in and you have forced two players to concede because they have had no creatures, no lands, and no permanents on the field for an hour. there is one player left that has not conceded yet. You finally bring yourself to attack because you are tired of this game.

You have won the game.

Suggestions are welcome. Some edit I made to it in the days between 11/9/16 and 11/19/16 made it so the CMC is no longer 4.20 and I am sad because of it.

One of the more interesting interactions in this deck is Blade of Selves + Solemn Simulacrum . If you're swinging the main sad robot against somebody without a viable blocker, you're getting two free lands every turn and your opponents are much more likely to let the clones deal two damage to them instead of letting you draw a card for when they kill a robot.

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Revision 11 See all

(5 years ago)

-1 Iona, Shield of Emeria main
+1 Karn, the Great Creator main
Top Ranked
  • Achieved #21 position overall 8 years ago
Date added 8 years
Last updated 5 years
Key combos
Legality

This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

27 - 0 Mythic Rares

41 - 0 Rares

13 - 0 Uncommons

5 - 1 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 3.94
Tokens Copy Clone, Emblem Narset Transcendent, Faerie Rogue 1/1 B, Zombie 2/2 B
Folders EDH decks, Too op, Interested, memes for dreams, Way too expensive decks, ye
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