Seems nice to me, I'm building a similar deck... but focusing in cards of M13, RTR and GTC. You can take a look: Mind Destruction

By now, the only thing I can suggest you is to work on the side-deck to build a strong defense against aggro and the likes.

Invisible Stalker over Deathcult Rogue .

This reminds me a lot of my own take on Dimir, Dimirillpede.

I don't think I can give too much advice as I haven't playtested my own deck too much, but I do like throwing in:

Essence Harvest - if your Consuming Aberration or Wight of Precinct Six get large enough, it does make for a nice win con, or at the very least put the life totals back in your favor.

Hands of Binding - since you're playing Invisible Stalker anyways, take advantage of cipher. Its combat damage will go through anyways, so you can slow down your opponent quite a bit with it, especially if your opponent has something that is dependent on attacking to be effective like Aurelia, the Warleader

I agree with scramblesthedeathdealer, you do need a little bit of control/removal. You just do, people will walk all over you if you don't play a kill or counter spell or two.

Curse of the Bloody Tome is a pathetically slow card. I suggest you replace it with a kill card or counter card (Dimir Charm does both, though neither very well)

As far as your description, I thought it was well written I prefer to see longer descriptions more than short ones. I also like to see FMN stats/reviews with the deck. It's one thing to play-test well. It's another to go to FNM and have people with a variety of decks use their sideboards to make everything work against you better than before.

Good luck man!

I just made my own mill deck with a slightly different focus than yours.Precinct Six, your final resting place.

You might enjoy reading my description/deck idea.