DMH: Tapped Out

Casual UBRG

floofynewf

Creature (10)

• 1x Balduvian Conjurer
• 1x Circling Vultures
• 1x Crypt Rats
• 1x Elder Druid
• 1x Elvish Spirit Guide
• 1x Initiates of the Ebon Hand
• 1x Orcish Lumberjack
• 1x Quirion Ranger
• 1x Thelonite Monk
• 1x Wall of Roots

Land (6)

• 2x Snow-Covered Forest
• 2x Snow-Covered Island
• 1x Snow-Covered Swamp
• 1x Volrath's Stronghold

Instant (3)

• 1x Boomerang
• 1x Spinning Darkness
• 1x Twiddle

Enchantment (4)

• 1x City of Solitude
• 1x Forbidden Crypt
• 1x Intruder Alarm
• 1x Oath of Lim-Dul

Sorcery (1)

• 1x Psychic Purge

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Sideboard

Enchantment (2)

• 1x Kismet
• 1x Stasis

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InQuest Magazine was one of the main sources for Magic information and specifically card prices back in the day. One feature they ran was an article called Dead Man's Hand. The article was a Magic puzzle centred on a game being played by Eugene T. Dudley, the worst Magic player in the world. The premise was that you couldn't win the game, so you had to help Eugene accomplish some alternate goal. I'm hoping to add more puzzles as I find them. They can be found here.

This puzzle is from the July 1998 issue. It includes my solution as well as the official solution from the following issue.

Setup

Copied from the article: https://archive.org/details/IQ.Gamer.Partial.Collection/inquest.039.-.july.1998.-.exodus.preview.lq/page/63/mode/2up

You Can't Win

Despite your best efforts, Eugenet T. Dudley, the worst Magic player in teh world, is struggling at the end of a grueling match. His opponent, Steve "Slowpoke" Sluman, has been playing a Stasis deck to perfection - enough so that despite Eugene's best efforts, he finds himself completely tappet out, facing a Stasis and a Kismet. Even worse, our hero's library and graveyard are completely empty, so he is looking at yet another discouraging defeat despite still being at full life.

For a conventional player, this would be a worry. Of course, Eugene realizes that all he really has to do is untap all of his permanents and the game is his - at a paltry 6 life, Steve would quickly die before his onslaught. A bit puzzled, Eugene has asked you for help. The goal? Have all of Eugene's permanents untapped at the same time at some point during his turn.

Keep in Mind the Following:

• It's the beginning of your turn.
• Steve is only at 6 life, so you might just pull this one out for Eugene.
• Eugene is at 20 life and a bit cocky about it.
• You have no cards in either your library or graveyard.
• All lands, creatures, and artifacts in play - including Steve's - are tapped.
• All you have to do is make sure all of your permanents are untapped at the same time at any point in the turn.

Land

Snow-Covered Forest x2 Snow-Covered Island Snow-Covered Swamp x2 Volrath's Stronghold

Cards in Play

• Balduvian Conjurer
• City of Solitude
• Crypt Rats
• Elder Druid
• Forbidden Crypt
• Initiates of the Ebon Hand
• Intruder Alarm
• Oath of Lim-Dul
• Orcish Lumberjack
• Quirion Ranger
• Thelonite Monk
• Wall of Roots

Cards in Hand

• Boomerang
• Circling Vultures
• Elvish Spirit Guide
• Psychic Purge
• Snow-Covered Island
• Spinning Darkness
• Twiddle

Note: this isn's called out in the "Cards in Play" section, but Eugene's opponent has a Stasis and a Kismet in play.

Hints

Hint 1

If you go to your draw step, you lose the game. You have to solve the puzzle during your upkeep.

Hint 2

Don't focus on trying to with the game, just having all of Eugene's permanents in play be untapped.

Hint 3

Very few of the permanents in play will actually untap, but many will hit the graveyard.

Red Herrings

Ignore these cards for your solution:

• Balduvian Conjurer
• City of Solitude
• Elder Druid
• Initiates of the Ebon Hand
• Oath of Lim-Dul
• Orcish Lumberjack
• Quirion Ranger
• Wall of Roots
• All of the cards in your hand.

Solution

How I Did It

This all happens during the upkeep because Forbidden Crypt with no cards in the graveyard and no cards in the library means we lose if we go to the draw step.

1. Activate Wall of Roots to add {G} to your mana pool.
2. Remove Elvish Spirit Guide from the game to add {G} to your mana pool.
3. Return a forest to your hand with Quirion Ranger to untap Orcish Lumberjack
4. Tap Orcish Lumberjack and sacrifice a forest to add {G} {G} {G} to your mana pool.
5. You now have {G} {G} {G} {G} {G} in your mana pool. Filter it through Initiates of the Ebon Hand to make {B} {B} {B} {B} {B}.
6. Activate Crypt Rats' ability with {X} = 5.
7. This will kill all of your creatures.
8. Oath of Lim-Dul triggers 5 times, so sacrifice your remaining 3 lands and any of the two enchantments (or discard two cards).
9. All of the tapped creatures and lands have now been sacrificed elaving all of Eugene's (remaining) permanents untapped.

Notes: I came across the solution of sacrificing everything pretty quickly, but two things kept me from thinking I'd gotten it right. First, it didn't seem like that was the spirit of the challenge. Second, I was really misled by the note that "you might just be able to pull this one out for Eugene." I kept thinking there was a way to survive the draw phase, play the Snow-Covered Island and get in for the final damage with Psychic Purge.

Ultimately, this is why my solution uses Elvish Spirit Guide and the official solution doesn't. I don't know if I would have qualified to win the box of Stronghold with my extra steps, but either way it still works. Technically.

Inquest Solution

Copied from the follow up issue in August 1998: https://archive.org/details/inquest-40/page/n33/mode/1up

With no cards in his graveyard or library, Eugene will die during his draw phase, which means you need to solve the pussle during his upkeep:

1. Send a Snow-Covered Forest back to your have and use quirion ranger (vi) ability to untap the orcish lumberjack(ice)
2. Tap the Orcish Lumberjack to sacrifice your other Snow-Covered Forest, addinf three green mana to your mana pool.
3. Put a -0/-1 counter on the Wall of Roots to add one green mana to your mana pool.
4. Channel all four mana through the Initiates of the Ebon Hand to make it black.
5. Spend all four black mana to activate the Crypt Rats' special ability. Your creatures each take four damage, destroying all of them.
6. Because of the Oath of Lim-Dul, you must sacrifice four permanents or discard four cards. Choose to sacrifice your four remaining lands.
7. At this point the only permanents you have in play are City of Solitude, intrudter alarm (th), and Oath of Lim-Dul, all of which are untapped.

Date added	9 months
Last updated	9 months
Legality	This deck is Casual legal.
Rarity (main - side)	7 - 1 Rares 3 - 1 Uncommons 9 - 0 Commons
Cards	24
Avg. CMC	2.61
Folders	InQuest Dead Man's Hand Puzzles