Mr. Steal-yo-sh!t is back, and he evolved into a Temur color identity! This deck has been fine-tuned to compete within my personal meta, as well as the macro-meta of CEDH.

The current macro-meta for CEDH is focused on fast noncreature combo cards like the infamous Ad Nauseam , Underworld Breach , or even the quick Demonic Consultation wins featuring either Thassa's Oracle or a Jace, Wielder of Mysteries . These types of decks typically feature quite a bit of free countermagic like Fierce Guardianship or Force of Negation , which are notably ineffective against creature decks.

With this rather blatant overlook in the typical interaction package, a strong and fast creature deck like this one is going to be hard to deal with effectively. Paired with an ability that not only makes the creature stronger, but also steals our opponents' good cards, we have a recipe for a good old-fashioned spanking for those pesky Turbo-Naus decks.

This is a midrange disruptive deck that seeks to leverage the commanders Pako, Arcane Retriever and Haldan, Avid Arcanist to not only build up a huge value engine quickly through card theft, but also beat our opponents' life totals down so they can't effectively use something like Ad Nauseam to amass their own value.

This deck also features heavy adaptive strategies by holding up numerous pieces of interaction while our opponents try to assemble their combos and board presence. This particular list has been stylized to work inside not only the current macro-meta of the format, but also within the usual meta it is played in.

GOOD NEWS: There is no such thing as a braindead CEDH deck, but this list is going to be about as close as it gets. This deck is relatively simple to pilot, and fulfills the inner Timmy in every Magic player's heart by smacking tf out of your opponents with a huge creature.

This is really the only gameplan, and it certainly is simple. That being said, it is quite powerful.

Step 1: Cast the Dog

Yep, you better cast that dog as soon as humanly possible. He has haste, so you can immediately get to setting up card theft and making a potential Ad Nauseam exceptionally un-valuable. Cast him within reason, of course, but that dog needs to hit the board and start tearing up your opponents like turn 3 at the latest. Learning how to properly evaluate an opening hand and mulligan will be possibly the hardest part of playing this deck, but it is a necessary evil.

Step 2: Cast the Poke-trainer

Start benefitting from your thieving plant dog. Cast the other commander and start abusing the power of your opponents' decks.

Step 3: No Glove, No Love

The best way to prevent your stud from unsavory contact is to bag it with protective pieces such as Canopy Cover , Aether Tunnel , or even give it a sword of it's own with Sword of Feast and Famine or Sword of Truth and Justice . The point is to whack your opponents, not their minions. With a little evaluation of which opponents need to die first, you can start pumping them full of damage with relative ease.

Step 4 (Optional): Turns and Assault

If you actually get to this step in a game, congratulations! Typically the game would have been over before you can execute these plans, but sometimes the the gods smile upon those who put in work in the crusade against Turbo-Naus decks. If you can pair an Aggravated Assault with a Bear Umbra or the aforementioned Sword of Feast and Famine , you can hit your opponents indefinitely in one turn. One can also find one (or more) of the included extra-turn spells like Temporal Manipulation , Time Warp , or even Nexus of Fate to take that extra step of beating to your opponents.

You will likely get to a point in a game after you complete Step 2 (mentioned above) with this deck and wonder, "What do I do now?" The answer is to simply use whatever you have access to. There are some good planeswalkers, instants, sorceries, enchantments, and artifacts in this deck to play with and abuse, and your opponents' decks will likely have some good stuff to play with too. Play it safe and hold up plenty of interaction during your opponents' turns, and bide your time. You will find a way to end the game eventually, just be patient and happy with smacking your opponents silly. You know you like hitting people for massive commander damage in a competitive pod.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading this Primer and checking out the deck! If you have any comments or questions, let me know in the comments below.

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Casual

97% Competitive

Revision 1 See all

(3 years ago)

-1 Dispel main
+1 Flusterstormfoil main
-1 Kessig Wolf Run main
+1 Wilderness Reclamation main
Date added 4 years
Last updated 3 years
Exclude colors WB
Splash colors URG
Legality

This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

21 - 0 Mythic Rares

47 - 0 Rares

14 - 0 Uncommons

10 - 0 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 2.43
Tokens Beast 3/3 G, Bird 2/2 U, Elk 3/3 G, Food, Treasure, Zombie 2/2 B
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