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Gonti's Nonsensical Deck Heist

Standard Combo Mill UB (Dimir)

conk2000


Sideboard


The key win-con in this deck is the Gonti, Lord of Luxury ETB trigger mixed with the combo of Mechanized Production + Panharmonicon .

Yes, it is as amazingly ridiculous as it sounds. From my experience with this deck on MTGO, the game ends in one of three ways: 1) You shame scoop from not getting your pieces in place because of heavy aggro or counter spells, 2) your opponent shame scoops because there is either 7 Panharmonicon on the field or this is the THIRD turn in a row with 5+ Gonti triggers on the stack, or 3) your opponent is highly amused and wants to watch the "Magic" happen with the jankiest, most ridiculous deck in standard.

Combo Cards

Gonti, Lord of Luxury - The main man himself. Unless you need a blocker on the field, it's best to save your Gonti for when there is added benefit to the ETB triggers. He is good pre-combo, but is outstandingly funny when you have your board setup to receive his troll-natured shenanigans with a warm embrace.

Panharmonicon - The glue that holds the deck together. We have a plethora of ETB triggered cards in the 75, so this not a mere one-trick pony and deserves the full playset. Best to play ASAP on turn 4, unless you suspect a big turn 5 for your opponent to leave up removal and counters.

Mechanized Production - The gas to make the deck the most out of control. The main idea is to enchant Panharmonicon, but can also enchant a Prophetic Prism if you are in a pinch. I have occasionally won via 8 copies, but is really just a happy side-effect.

Baral's Expertise - This card is the underrated utility/pocket knife of the deck. Primary idea is to bounce two opponent threats plus Gonti, and then replay Gonti for free, but can do so much more. If you haven't noticed, our ENITRE DECK is 4cmc or less, so it can literally play anything you want. I have used it to bounce a prophetic Prism and replay it to draw 5. I have used it to bounce a couple 8/8 Snakes and then free-casted a Mechanized Production to start my ETB engine. You do have to play this card intelligently and know the opponent, because this card getting countered is very punishing, almost certainly leading to a loss.

Essence Flux - With all the blink in Standard, I am surprised that this card isn't used as much as it should. Obviously the Spirit +1/+1 counter is moot in this deck, but the instant speed blink for Gonti, Lord of Luxury and Glint-Nest Crane is hyper useful. It is primarily used to blink them for triggers, but is also good at saving your Gonti or Crane after a block from a big hitter.

Support Cards

Prophetic Prism - Good for early game fuel for your Improvise cards, but is mostly used as a late-game hand refill. I can't even count the amount of times this had been a 2-mana "Draw 5." The ideal top deck card when your board has been developed. It can even be "blinked" by Baral's Expertise to remove threats and draw cards. Can also be fetched by Glint-Nest Crane. Solid spell in this deck, and every aspect of it shines in one way or another.

Glint-Nest Crane - Early game, it blocks small guys and digs for Panharmonicon. Late game, it chumps and digs for Prophetic Prism, usually 3 or 4 times in a row. Expect this to whiff more often than not, unless you have your Panharmonicon army on standby. When playing against a heavy creature deck, you can side some of these out for Weaponcraft Enthusiast.

Anticipate - Usually digs for Gonti late game or lands early game. Even with 24 land, they still seem to hate being in my hand. #sadday

Battle at the Bridge - Primarily for having a chance against aggro matchups on Game 1. Both healing and killing, the Improvise comes in handy a good chunk of the time, since there is little reason not to tap your Panharmonicon and Prophetic Prism.

Sideboard Cards

Metallic Rebuke - Used against control or other combo decks. Usually sub out Battle at the Bridge for this if they play little to no creatures. Improvise is definitely a bonus.

Harsh Scrutiny - We are very weak to aggro, so plucking out early threats plus digging for combo pieces? Sign me up.

Fatal Push - More anti-aggro tech. If you need budget options or play against midrange, then Grasp of Darkness can be in here. (I personally use Grasp because a lot of friends still enjoy playing gearhulks.)

Weaponcraft Enthusiast - Armies of chump blockers are great when you can get your ETB engine going. 3-mana for 9 chump blockers, don't mind if I do...

Westvale Abbey   - If you are siding in Weaponcraft Enthusiast, why not add in a little more jank to go with it?

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Updates Add

Gonti's Nonsensical Deck Heist won a local event!!!!! *

*Note: There was only one other player, and I won with 3-2 of 5 matches. Was not easy, even playing against a very rogue Burn build. I have 1% faith this would ever beat a true tier 1 or tier 2 deck with actual prizes on the line.

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Top Ranked
  • Achieved #18 position overall 7 years ago
Date added 7 years
Last updated 7 years
Splash colors W
Key combos
Legality

This deck is not Standard legal.

Rarity (main - side)

6 - 0 Mythic Rares

26 - 3 Rares

7 - 8 Uncommons

7 - 4 Commons

Cards 60
Avg. CMC 3.00
Tokens Copy Clone, Human Cleric 1/1 BW, Servo 1/1 C
Folders Epic Decks, Ideas, Cool Decks, Cool Decks, looks like fun
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