Have you considered replacing the Bidents with Treasure Cruise? Or would that not work?

I prefer Bident's repeat-ability over Cruise's one time use. This deck is designed to slowly deal damage while keeping up a steady stream of removal; Bident gets me cards every turn, while Cruise only gets me three.

What are you going to do when Theros goes out of standard?

Cry.

But seriously, this deck really needs Military Intelligence and Bident of Thassa to be effective; Intel still has a slight chance to be reprinted in origins, but Bident will be gone. As for the creatures and disruption, there are always other options, but my main concern is the card-drawing enchantments. If/when they're both gone, this deck may die...at least for standard. This deck mixed with Modern disruption could be very fun! Vapor Snag, Delver of Secrets  ^Flip, Remand and other fun stuff make this deck seem at least casually Modern viable.

this is just a bad deck.

Thanks for your input bah-bammmm! It was truly necessary, and will really help the development of the deck!

sorry but, if you want unblockable creatures there are much better ones.

elusive spellfist, flitterstep eidolon, marang river prowler.... using bounce spells cannot solve everything

I would love to see this deck be made into a non budget version.

it wouldn't be very good.

So, what do we do, now that we lost some essential cards? Is there any way to kick this back into shape and continue to mess with 400/$ decks?

i dont think so.... i ran a budget deck similar to this that was hilarious, but rotation....... so im working on a new budget idea here's the two rough drafts that i started Assemble the Horde ,Well That Hurt,they really dont fit the theme of "mind fuckery" but hey im trying

Sadly, with rotation, this deck will probably die. The main cards that make it effective, Bident of Thassa and Military Intelligence are both leaving, taking with them this deck's main source of continuous card draw, which is what made the deck so annoying.

However, we DO have Thopter Spy Network; it's way slower and requires artifacts, but hey, it's an option. I'm not sure if its even worth forcing it in here, though, as there aren't many flying artifacts in standard and it only draws you a single card per turn.

I'll play around with it in testing, but prospects look meh. I think this deck may simply have to die with dignity, and leave us with fond memories of being a dick.

But what could you do if you took it into MODERN?

Can we see a $20 Modern version of being an ETERNAL DICK?

How To Be A Dick in Modern

Ta-da.

Not a budget solution, but a splash of green to add Hardened Scales would preserve your counters even if you're not drawing as many cards as before.

BIGASS UPDATE:

So, clearly, this deck is no longer "standard", and the casual nature of this deck prevents its use in modern. However, with the birth of frontier, this deck may yet again rear its ugly head! A few modifications have been made to make it frontier-legal, with a couple other changes added to lower the price of the deck to back under $15 (the price increase of Chasm Skulker put it over the limit.)

CHANGES FOR LEGALITY

-4 Hypnotic Siren, +4 Faerie Miscreant: Not a big change, and the Faerie can grab us more cards.

-2 Bident of Thassa, +2 Ongoing Investigation: While nowhere near as good as Bident, Investigation is the closest thing we've got in frontier.

-4 Voyage's End, +4 Unsubstantiate: Honestly, I would make this change even if I wasn't being forced to by frontier's set limitations. Exchanging a scry 1 for a pseudo-Remand is fine by me.

-4 Dissolve, +4 Void Shatter: The next best counter spell available, barring the overpriced Disallow.

-3 Palace Familiar, +3 Skyship Plunderer: While the bird is still legal in frontier, the pirate is simply better; +1/+0 and the ability to multiply counters seems better then drawing when it dies.

CHANGES FOR PRICE

-3 Chasm Skulker, +3 Cloudform: It's not ideal, but there isn't much else for three mana in frontier that fits the deck and doesn't push the cost over $15.

CHANGES BECAUSE WHY NOT

-4 Stratus Dancer, +4 Dimensional Infiltrator: I just prefer flash and the weird self-bounce effect over megamorph in this deck. But that's just me, these two are interchangeable.

YOOOO HYPE, I LOVED THIS WAY BACK!

I'd be willing to pay slightly more for the Chasm Skulkers, as it's really not a big deal since they're barely that bad, and has such a good synergy with Skyship Plunderer. Plus Stratus Dancer is very important to that effect as well, and a counter is always very nice, allowing us to bluff alongside Gudul Lurker (who also synergizes with Plunderer). Wretched Gryff could be a decent way to trigger Skulker's death trigger for ourselves, and Horribly Awry is a very good counter for the deck, to compliment the coverage Dancer gives us on noncreatures and aggro creatures.

Link to frontier edition: How To Be A Dick For Under $15: FRONTIER