Land (23)
Sorcery (13)
Instant (6)
Planeswalker (2)
Artifact (8)
Enchantment (6)
Creature (2)
Sideboard
Creature (5)
Artifact (5)
Instant (5)
Pictured: Our oppoent after getting domed with a
Darksteel Relic
Deck Breakdown
Take some time to practice your most maniacal laugh possible... you're going to want a great one after you Thoughtseize your opponent's hand full of targeted destruction spells while you have a board full of LITCHES BITCHES.
Yes, you read that right. Get your foil playsets of Phylactery Lich before the SaffronOlive revisits this idea and subsequent price spike which is inevitably incoming. Did you know you needed indestructible hockey pucks wielding indestructible axes before now? Well now you do. Welcome fellow planeswalker... to GET PUCKED.
Key Combos
Let's slapshot right into this one, shall we?
Phylactery Lich + a metric fuckton of indestructable artifacts + Ensoul Artifact
Then we squirt lukewarm urine... I mean Gatorade into our mouths and nuke the board... over.. and over... and over..
Creatures
Phylactery Lich: Straight up Voldemort style.
Creeping Tar Pit: Secure, Contain, Protect. Google SCP. Welcome to the rabbit hole.
Enchantments
Ensoul Artifact: Because who doesn't like a 5/5 indestructible creature turn two?
Tezzeret's Touch: Old Tezz knows how Johnny likes to be touched.
Artifacts
Darksteel Axe : Cheap, durable, and sharp. Ensoul one and attach another to it for style points.
Darksteel Ingot: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAMP.
Darksteel Relic : The fabled puck itself, probably one of the most worthless cards in all of Magic. Beating your opponent to death with one: Priceless.
Darksteel Citadel: IMMA SMASH YOU WITH MUH CASTLE.
Planeswalkers
Tezzeret, Agent of Bolas: Finds us shiny things and turns stuff into killsaws.
Instants
Fatal Push: How exactly are you pushing a Birds of Paradise off a cliff is beyond me but hey, we're dealing with 5/5 indestructible sentient sports equipment over here so I won't ask too many questions.
Stubborn Denial: Ever heard of Path to Exile? Ha. Ha ha ha. Muahahahahahahaha
Sorceries
Bontu's Last Reckoning: Tactical nuke.
Damnation: Strategic nuke.
Inquisition of Kozilek: No one expects the Eldrazi Inquisition! (Nah, you play swamp turn one they probably do)
Serum Visions: Three Words: Card Selection Erection
Thoughtseize: Never ever rule34 search Tezzeret or you'll need to target yourself.
Sideboard
Fulminator Mage: OK. Count with me. One plus one plus one DOES NOT FUCKING EQUAL SEVEN.
Hero's Downfall: We're playing a deck with a literal agent of Bolas, and a D+D boss monster. The heroes do not survive.
Negate: For best results have this sound when you counter their combo...
Padeem, Consul of Innovation: This blue smurph dude makes sex robots, I guarantee it.
Pithing Needle: Don't do drugs kids!
Ratchet Bomb: Upon activating your opponent must don a weave and leopard print leggings and ask "Why you so ratchet?" while moving their head on a lateral axis.
Relic of Progenitus: Kicking over gravestones seems like a fun way to get cursed at.
Spellskite: Ever get a spider in your ear? Try focusing on anything else while that is going on.
Surgical Extraction: They better hope we get some socialized medicine soon because I don't think much is going to be working downstairs after this.
Let me know what you think! If you enjoyed please upvote and check out my other Modern decks,
Modern: Bigger Blacker and Uncut
ICYBOIS
The Tumblr Deck: White Girls Getting Triggered
Stoned in Prison
GLOBAL WARMING
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| Top Ranked |
|
| Date added | 7 years |
| Last updated | 7 years |
| Exclude colors | WRG |
| Legality | This deck is Modern legal. |
| Rarity (main - side) | 4 - 0 Mythic Rares 24 - 10 Rares 25 - 3 Uncommons 4 - 2 Commons |
| Cards | 60 |
| Avg. CMC | 1.76 |
| Folders | funsies, Modern, Dumb, Cool Decks, Decks, s, Interesting, Modern Decks, Artifact, Memes |
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