The sarcasm is strong but surprisingly upbeat with this one..

+1 just for the giggles.

I love this hahahahahaha

I've been deeply scouring the depths of the tappedout community for a deck that is both SUPER COMPETITIVE and yet FLAWLESSLY DESIGNED, and yet somehow I missed this priceless gem... A turn 1 lose that runs Storm Crow?! How come I hadn't thought of this sooner, or at least run into it.

To you, Mr. Grunyarth, I tip my hat and say with utmost gratitude: Thank you.

+1 Well played my friend.

Sideboard exactly one Abyssal Persecutor, just in case...

krackhour, Final 4chan is a great addition, thank you for the suggestion, I can already imagine the games I could lose from this.

KongMing, Abyssal Persecutor is a great sideboard addition in case of the mirror match, which could definitely be a problem.

Whith all these new ideas I should one day take this to a pro tour! And I'll Lose!!!!!!

krackhour, you have tricked me. You said that I should run Final 4chan, whithout alerting me to the consequences. This deck is no longer modern legal, that is, it is illegal. I am slightly put off, BUT LETS GO DOMINATE VINTAGE B*TCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug isn't as consistent as the rest of the cards in your deck; it's a guaranteed Turn 2 loss instead of Turn 1 because you have to play it on your attack step. That said, it is the original Super haste card, and deserves an honorable mention at least. (:

KongMing, Do you realise that Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug deals 3 damage! Games are decided on small amounts of life in vintage, and I cannot suffer that risk of winning! No way am I including a win condition!

Dark Ritual to Necropotence, pay 20 life. Doesn't fit here but it's a way to lose turn 1.

Uhh, No. Necropetence generates this horrible thing called card advantage, which even has advantage in its name. There is no way I can use anything that gives any kind of advantage.

If you put in cards that are not Vintage legal, you are disqualified before the game even starts. I think thats even better.

dang at least it took 4 second of my life fuck ............

Have you considered Glorious End? You could end your opponent's turn to prevent them from having a chance to lose before you! XD

Ahh, very good idea Soulcommando, I think that this new card is worthy of a full playset...

Storm Crow is too good for this deck

The only problem with Glorious End is that since all of your lands bounce, you'll never have the mana to play it. );

Throw in some gideons and you have an actual winning deck LOL

absolutely amazing. If i could, i would give +5

How do you play Glorious End or anything besides pacts

The plan is to lose loooong before any opponent could allow you to cast one, but they are there for especially long, grindy matchups against the most skilled of opponents.

You don't have any mana

Dude, the deck plays 30 lands, of course you have mana...

I mean their all- oh forget it.

I am a big fan of the deck, and plan on taking this to my local FNM, but I don't have a lot of money to put towards the stronger cards in this deck. What substitutions can you recommend for the budget-oriented?

Fear not charmanderson_cooper!!! I have put together and almost as devious deck which should put an even less deep dent in you wallet!!! Her you go!!! Dirt Cheap Death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!