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Oloro, Ageless, Passive Aggressive, Ascetic

Commander / EDH Control Creatureless Lifegain Pillow Fort WUB (Esper)

Grey_Haven


Maybeboard


Look. It's been a long day. The boss is all up in my business, wife's never happy, and the kids are whiny brats.

I don't want to deal with your anything right now. I don't want to leave the command zone. I just want to sit in my big, giant chair, and enjoy what little life I have (2 each turn to be precise).

What? Oh great, that's just typical. Yes, please, I love creatures coming to attack me. What did I do this time? I'm just sitting here! Fine, go ahead, attack me. Feel free.

Wait. Did you pay the mana? From Propaganda, Ghostly Prison, Collective Restraint , Norn's Annex, and Sphere of Safety? I can't do your job for you, you know. Gotta pay up.

Oh, you had the mana. And you also hated on your own graveyard to satisfy Web of Inertia ? Dang, when someone treats their own graveyard that bad... Great. I'm glad you decided you don't like your creatures very much. Hope they're cool with that. Because No Mercy and Dissipation Field will take good care of them. Or maybe I'll turn them into gold with Aurification and they can just sit there and think about how much their life sucks under your control. And the damage they were going to do? Well, Meishin, the Mind Cage and Divine Presence will make sure that that damage is very small. And the damage that does get through, well, as I said, I have life coming in. I've invested in Sun Droplet, Bloodchief Ascension, and Chalice of Life   that'll take very good care of me right here in this chair.

Look, I'm sure that you've invested lots into these creatures. You've mana ramped, you've patiently waited for them to be drawn, heck, you've waited til I was tapped out just to make sure I didn't have a counterspell (typical assumption, blue player must play counterspell). But I'm tired of them swinging at me. Which is why I suggest we wipe the slate clean with Wrath of God, Supreme Verdict, and Day of Judgment. Indestructible you say? Black Sun's Zenith I say! Or maybe they're so high in toughness that you don't care about my few measly -1/-1 counters. I worked hard for those counters, and I don't appreciate that sort of disdain. Fine, keep your creatures. In your library. Terminus and Hallowed Burial, son. You're not a son, you're a daughter, and you don't appreciate my casual sexism? Apologies ma'am, I'll take back my play and exile all your creatures instead. Merciless Eviction and Final Judgment . You have a few key creatures you love? Show them which ones you love most by choosing which ones to sacrifice with Barter in Blood and Innocent Blood. I'm sure they'll appreciate it. You've got more, and they're swinging away? Cool, AEtherize and AEtherspouts . Giving them (and you) some time to reflect on your decisions.

Now that we've finally wiped the board, I think we need to lay some ground rules. Like no creatures on the ground. Ward of Bones, AEther Barrier , Lethal Vapors , Overburden, Painful Quandary, Spreading Plague , and Tainted AEther all suggest, politely, that this may not be in the best interest of your creatures. I'm just warning you, I don't actually care.

In the meantime, I just want to draw cards and gain life. Thankfully, these two go hand in hand. Greed, Well of Lost Dreams (where I put my hopes that you'll leave me alone), Phyrexian Arena, and Necropotence all use that life that I've worked so hard to gain. Rhystic Study, Mystic Remora, Mind Unbound and Blue Sun's Zenith for good ol' fashion card draw, like back in the good days when I didn't have to deal with all this crap.

Okay, I've had enough of this game. I didn't want to, but you've really forced my hand. Debt to the Deathless and Exsanguinate will give me life and take it from you, just like you've done to me for this past miserable forty five minutes. Not too afraid of a few measly one-off spells? Well you should have noticed that all those enchantments were whittling your health down. Bloodchief Ascension, Breathstealer's Crypt , Polluted Bonds, Vile Consumption , Wound Reflection, Painful Quandary, and Sanguine Bond all like taking little pieces of your life away. How does it feel?

You have only yourself to blame, I was content just sitting here.

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Date added 8 years
Last updated 7 years
Legality

This deck is Commander / EDH legal.

Rarity (main - side)

4 - 0 Mythic Rares

53 - 0 Rares

26 - 0 Uncommons

5 - 0 Commons

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 3.75
Folders Commander, Decks I like, new decks, Cool Oloro Inspiration, EDH, EDH
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