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"Pauper Don't Preach" by MaRonna

Pauper Cleric Humans Lifegain Soul Sisters Theme/Gimmick WB (Orzhov)

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Date added 7 years
Last updated 4 years
Legality

This deck is Pauper legal.
Cards 60
Avg. CMC 1.85
Folders Pauper
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Creature (25)

Sorcery (3)

Land (20)

Instant (12)

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Creature (11)

Instant (3)

Sorcery (1)

Land (2)

"Pauper Don't Preach," by MaRonna
The following is a parody of "Papa Don't Preach," by Madonna. Lyrics by Gattison.

Pauper, is something I know I can playset
And I almost always play budget
But you should know by now
I'm not a Timmy
I started brewing with mono-
Then I splashed for the Deacon Vile
I may be Orzhov now
But I know what I'm playin'

The tribe you never heard about
Until Pauper came around
This was a great playtest
Now let's play for ante (please)

[chorus]
Pauper don't preach, cast a Suture Priest
Pauper don't preach, Mana Tithe is weak
I made up my mind, I'm tapping my cleric (mmm)
I'm gonna' tap my cleric (mmmmm)
[/chorus]

He or she's going to swing at me
We both have a decent battlefield
Maybe they'll be alright
Maybe I'll sacrifice

But my opponent won't give it up
Playing too many clerics for you to touch
What you need right now is some Harsh Sustenance (for three)

[chorus]
Pauper don't preach, cast a Suture Priest
Pauper don't preach, Blessing 's almost free
I made up my mind, I'm tapping my cleric (uh)
I'm gonna' tap my cleric (ooh, oh)
[/chorus]

Johnny, Johnny if you could only see
Just how much I can do with cleric synergy
You'd give up your goblins right now
'Cause clerics are fun, clerics are fun (so please)

[chorus]
Pauper don't preach, cast a Suture Priest
Pauper don't preach, Charming Misery
I made up my mind, I'm swing with cleric s (uh)
I'm gonna' swing out, dammit (ooh, oh)
[/chorus]

Pauper don't preach, cast a Suture Priest
Pauper don't preach, Mana Tithe is weak
[repeat 1x]

Pauper don't preach, ooh
Pauper don't preach, I'm gonna cast a cleric (ooh)
Pauper don't preach, don't you stop playing me, Timmy
Pauper don't preach, I know I'm winning with clerics

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