Pharika= Tight Butthole

Standard* Aggro BG (Golgari) BGW (Abzan, Junk) Reanimator WB (Orzhov)

daltonnelson

Creature (25)

• 3x Archetype of Courage
• 3x Athreos, God of Passage
• 4x Deadly Recluse
• 3x High Priest of Penance
• 3x Liliana's Reaver
• 3x Pharika, God of Affliction
• 3x Pharika's Chosen
• 3x Wasteland Viper

Land (22)

• 2x Forest
• 1x Mana Confluence
• 2x Overgrown Tomb
• 3x Plains
• 4x Swamp
• 2x Temple Garden
• 3x Temple of Malady
• 2x Temple of Plenty
• 3x Temple of Silence

Enchantment (5)

• 3x Banishing Light
• 2x Dictate of Erebos

Instant (9)

• 3x Deicide
• 3x Hero's Downfall
• 3x Putrefy

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Sideboard

Instant (12)

• 3x Deicide
• 2x Golgari Charm
• 4x Rootborn Defenses
• 3x Tower Defense

Sorcery (3)

• 3x Gild

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Maybeboard

Creature (5)

• 1x Archetype of Courage
• 1x High Priest of Penance
• 1x Ogre Slumlord
• 1x Sylvan Caryatid
• 1x Wasteland Viper

Land (1)

• 1x Mana Confluence

Enchantment (1)

• 1x Deadbridge Chant

Artifact (1)

• 1x Viridian Longbow

Instant (5)

• 1x Deicide
• 1x Golgari Charm
• 1x Rootborn Defenses
• 1x Tower Defense
• 1x Warriors' Lesson

Sorcery (3)

• 1x Gild
• 1x Immortal Servitude
• 1x Revoke Existence

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Give those bitches a bad touch... a deathtouch. Your opponents won't want to attack you or block you. So, you can play passively like a bitch, or you can "Mohammed, durka, durka, Jihad!" and suicide bomb their life with deathtouch baddies. Plus, when you use kill spells and slay some of your opponent's creatures with deathtouch you can use Pharika, the holy grail of ass fucks and dildos, to poop out more deathtouch snakes after exiling the corpses of the creatures that have already fallen in battle. See, Pharika is a tight bitch after all :)

Now, the Dictate of Erebos is fuckin balla because once I get my deathtouchers out there, I can attack or block as I choose and my opponent has the choice to block, lose that creature to deathtouch, and then sacrifice another creature. Also, there is the option to let me damage them and kill them. Athreos, God of Passage exists in here to let me fetch my suicide bombing badasses. Or, if you want to play like a little girl they could be used in a blocking capacity. Also, chances are pharika will even become a creature if your opponent cowers before your deathtouch and you preserve your creatures. There are enough creatures in here that you can give many bad touches to your opponent. Seeing as they are all 1 and 2 drops, they are numerous and expendable.

I put in just a smidge of white for athreos and then I realized that High Priest of Penance was a thing. He essentially has deathtouch but he can destroy any permanent. That is good when considering that my opponent might have something precious and worth destroying that my deathtouch may not be able to reach.

Leave comments suggestions, or a sexy selfie. Peace out tappedout!

Top Ranked	Achieved #99 position overall 10 years ago
Date added	10 years
Last updated	10 years
Legality	This deck is not Standard legal.
Rarity (main - side)	7 - 0 Mythic Rares 23 - 6 Rares 15 - 5 Uncommons 7 - 4 Commons
Cards	61
Avg. CMC	2.62
Tokens	Enchantment Snake 1/1 BG, Gold, Zombie 2/2 B
Folders	feature?, Interest, Inspirations