Okay, okay, okay, I know what you all are thinking right now; "I hate you. I hate you for playing this. I hate you for making an actual list, and the fact that this is the only list you have been fine-tuning all season. If I ever so much as see you (and can recognize you based off of username on a trading card website), I will punch you. Like, hard."
And I understand. No, I really do. And this is why I love this deck. Being able to watch the other person across the table writhe in a purgatorial state I induced upon them. Laugh as their 128/128 Kalonion Hydra swings over and over again, their useless repetition grounds for musings of suicide.
Why, yes, I am quite the sadist. Thank you very much.
Anyway, the main concept of this deck is to continually stall as we obtain our win condition via negating the combat and, in some cases, simply taking a hit. After a while, it is easy for us to obtain a massive mana stockpile, giving us access to heavy drawspells to refill our tank while still spewing out more attack negation than the special effects at a black metal garage band gig.
It plays a bit differently than previous turbofog builds throughout the history of Magic due to its method of winning. While usually it wins via decking your opponent as you recur your library over and over again, this one simply utilizes an alternate win condition. Basically, instead of slashing their tires and emptying their bank account, we're just sleeping with their spouse and spitting in their coffee.
The key components:
-Win Conditions-
Maze's End
This is a good card. It wins games.
More elaborately, it allows us to win the game with very little necessary interaction as we stall. It is as simple as playing lands and, last time I checked, all decks in standard do just that. The tutor and win effect is cheap enough for us late game to be consistent and easy.
Crackling Perimeter
This can win a game out of nowhere. It is an excellent alternate win condition with very low mana input required first. Just dump all of your gates on their noggin at the end of turn if your hand is full. It also makes a good surprise game two. They Pithing Needle'd your Maze's End? That's cute.
-The Fog Effects-
This is the fun part of your deck. This is the part that make people want to use your liver as a hood ornament.
Fog
One mana. Prevent all combat. All of it. Belongs in every deck. EVER.
Druid's Deliverance
Prevent all damage dealt to you. Only you. Oh, and you get to populate. Make a joke out of populating EVERY time you play this card. They'll laugh the first time, awkwardly chuckle the second, and then they just start heavily sighing at you. Remember, you're not here to make friends. You're here to TURBOFOG.
Defend the Hearth
Fog effect. Possible to combat trick with creatures... if we actually ran them.
Riot Control
Okay, this little guy deserves special mention. Yes, he is a pretty expensive fog effect, but he is for two good reasons. He prevents all DAMAGE: not just combat, not just a specific source, but all damage. That little minotaur RDW brags about being able to jump past you? Negated. Crazy Boros angels throwing lightning at you for the kill? Not any more. Also, that little life gain on the side is a huge help, and may just give us enough to save a fog and take an attack phase after a board clear.
-Card Advantage-
The beauty of all annoying control decks anywhere, and what allows us to keep fogging around with the opponent.
Urban Evolution
This guy is great. He lets us go in for cards and play more gates, which, in turn, will let us play more draw spells. Yes, it is five mana, and yes, it is not instant speed. In fact, it is one of only three non-instants in my deck. However, this is NOT meant to be played turn six (since all gates come in tapped). It is meant to be played later or after a board wipe, allowing us to reap full benefits.
Opportunity
Shut up, I don't have any Sphinx's Revelations. Card draw is card draw.
Steam Augury
Please, don't argue about "Oi, ya blummin' nublet, dis ain't no FoF, dis ain't FoF, u onleh git le bayd cerds". EVERY. CARD. IN. THIS. DECK. IS. A. BAD. CARD. No reasonable opponent wants to see you get more fogs in your hand, but, depending how you play this, it is VERY easy to get two or more fog effects out of this one card, as well as needed gates and possibly win conditions. Some things go to the graveyard? One of them was a win con? Well, that's okay, I planned for someone trying to disrupt our plans anyway, and this is just another condition we play around with the next one.
-Other Things-
Things not classified in the above three categories, yet still are as important to the deck as its win conditions.
Treasured Find
This is my secret tech. Recurrence of anything in your graveyard is not bad, or so it wasn't the last time I checked (I know it's not the same, just saying recurring things are good). It is another fog. It is more card advantage. It is your Maze's End... again. It is anything you could ever need, all in one nifty little package.
Merciless Eviction
What is this card, exactly? At its worse, it gets rid of that one card we don't like to think about. At its best, it wins us the game. It can clear a board of everything ever since you've been fogging for a long time. It can combo out and slam a Heliod, a Hammer, and a Spear all in one go. Just trust me. This boyo is fantastic.
Aetherize
Now, this guy is like another fog effect, but he does so much more. After bouncing all the creatures, they will most like have to spend all of the next turn putting them back down, and, in the cases without haste, this results in a total of two turns stalled. Even if they played another creature on the turn you played it, you can most likely simply take the damage as they focus on setting their things back out. Also, hits indestructible and hexproof things.
-Land Base-
The land base is a simple split, with at least two in all guildgates. Priority is given to Bant colors and a little on the Gruulgates, for the... well, the red spells. However, with this set up, you have to keep in mind that you will effectively be a turn behind the entire game, since all lands come in tapped. However, our fogs are cheap, and it is easy to play around.
Other things - I kind of just threw in a Saruli Gatekeeper. They pretty meh, but with lack of consistent board clears, it usually ends up pretty irrelevant.
I have, since starting to pilot the deck, always managed to go 3-1 at the least during my romps at FNM. Some were luck, some were nothing but pure skill spewing out of my forehead and onto the board.. but what really brings all this matches together, under one common group, is the simple fact that
THEY GOT FOG'D UP.
