Poetry of Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge

Commander / EDH Control Cruel Control Discard Mill UBR (Grixis)

ZaphodBeblebrox

Land (33)

• 1x Academy Ruins
• 1x Ancient Tomb
• 1x Badlands
• 1x Blood Crypt
• 1x Bloodstained Mire
• 1x Canyon Slough
• 1x Cephalid Coliseum
• 1x Command Tower
• 1x Dragonskull Summit
• 1x Drowned Catacomb
• 1x Fetid Pools
• 1x Flooded Strand
• 1x Geier Reach Sanitarium
• 1x Graven Cairns
• 2x Island
• 1x Mikokoro, Center of the Sea
• 1x Minamo, School at Water's Edge
• 1x Mountain
• 1x Polluted Delta
• 1x Reflecting Pool
• 1x Reliquary Tower
• 1x Scalding Tarn
• 1x Steam Vents
• 1x Sulfur Falls
• 3x Swamp
• 1x Underground Sea
• 1x Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
• 1x Volcanic Island
• 1x Volrath's Stronghold
• 1x Watery Grave

Instant (8)

• 1x Cyclonic Rift
• 1x Dramatic Reversal
• 1x Echoing Truth
• 1x Evacuation
• 1x Fire Covenant
• 1x Force of Despair
• 1x Mystical Tutor
• 1x Reality Shift

Artifact (18)

• 1x Aetherflux Reservoir
• 1x Bolas's Citadel
• 1x Chromatic Lantern
• 1x Chrome Mox
• 1x Dimir Signet
• 1x Fellwar Stone
• 1x Isochron Scepter
• 1x Izzet Signet
• 1x Lightning Greaves
• 1x Mana Crypt
• 1x Mox Diamond
• 1x Mox Opal
• 1x Rakdos Signet
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Talisman of Creativity
• 1x Talisman of Dominance
• 1x Talisman of Indulgence
• 1x The Chain Veil

Sorcery (13)

• 1x Blasphemous Act
• 1x Damnation
• 1x Deliver Unto Evil
• 1x Dreadbore
• 1x Echo of Eons
• 1x Merchant Scroll
• 1x Reforge the Soul
• 1x The Elderspell
• 1x Toxic Deluge
• 1x Transmute Artifact
• 1x Wheel of Fortune
• 1x Whispering Madness
• 1x Windfall

Enchantment (2)

• 1x Search for Azcanta  ^Flip
• 1x Waste Not

Commander (1)

Planeswalker (16)

• 1x Ashiok, Dream Render
• 1x Chandra, Awakened Inferno
• 1x Chandra, Torch of Defiance
• 1x Dack Fayden
• 1x Jace, Wielder of Mysteries
• 1x Liliana of the Veil
• 1x Narset, Parter of Veils
• 1x Nicol Bolas, Dragon-God
• 1x Nicol Bolas, God-Pharaoh
• 1x Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker
• 1x Nicol Bolas, the Deceiver
• 1x Ob Nixilis Reignited
• 1x Saheeli, Sublime Artificer
• 1x Teferi, Temporal Archmage
• 1x Tezzeret, Master of the Bridge
• 1x Tezzeret the Seeker

Creature (9)

• 1x Flux Channeler
• 1x Imperial Recruiter
• 1x Jace's Archivist
• 1x Nicol Bolas, the Ravager  ^Flip
• 1x Snapcaster Mage
• 1x Spellseeker
• 1x The Locust God
• 1x The Scarab God
• 1x Tribute Mage

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Sideboard

Enchantment (5)

• 1x Breathstealer's Crypt
• 1x Exquisite Blood
• 1x No Mercy
• 1x Propaganda
• 1x The Abyss

Sorcery (1)

• 1x Incendiary Command

Artifact (3)

• 1x Fire Diamond
• 1x Font of Mythos
• 1x Teferi's Puzzle Box

Creature (1)

• 1x Magus of the Wheel

Instant (2)

• 1x Arcane Denial
• 1x Crosis's Charm

Land (1)

• 1x Maze of Ith

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Maybeboard

Artifact (12)

• 1x Aetherflux Reservoir
• 1x Bolas's Citadel
• 1x Commander's Sphere
• 1x Cursed Totem
• 1x Darksteel Ingot
• 1x Geth's Grimoire
• 1x Library of Leng
• 1x Lion's Eye Diamond
• 1x Lotus Petal
• 1x Pyromancer's Goggles
• 1x Sky Diamond
• 1x Thought Vessel

Creature (6)

• 1x Baral, Chief of Compliance
• 1x Dark Confidant
• 1x Goblin Electromancer
• 1x Magus of the Wheel
• 1x Nightscape Familiar
• 1x Notion Thief

Sorcery (12)

• 1x Bonus Round
• 1x Collective Defiance
• 1x Crux of Fate
• 1x Faithless Looting
• 1x Hour of Devastation
• 1x Khorvath's Fury
• 1x Past in Flames
• 1x Preordain
• 1x Reanimate
• 1x Tormenting Voice
• 1x Vandalblast
• 1x Whelming Wave

Land (3)

• 1x Luxury Suite
• 1x Morphic Pool
• 1x The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale

Instant (11)

• 1x Abrade
• 1x Chain of Vapor
• 1x Chaos Warp
• 1x Frantic Search
• 1x Kolaghan's Command
• 1x Opt
• 1x Pact of Negation
• 1x Paradoxical Outcome
• 1x Slaughter Pact
• 1x Swan Song
• 1x Terminate

Enchantment (2)

• 1x Animate Dead
• 1x Imprisoned in the Moon

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"Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their poet master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump Of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning " four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging and the president of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived only by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos was reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his 12-book epic entitled "My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles" when his own major intestine--in a desperate attempt to save life itself--leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone of Redbridge, in the destruction of the planet Earth. Vogon poetry is mild by comparison."

Finally the sequel to my (now retired) Vogon-poetry deck! This deck is absolute torture for your opponents. Watch glee turn into despair as you have them draw their best cards, only to have to discard them an instant later... muhahhaha!

Unlike Vogon Poetry, Paul Neil Milne Johnstone's poetry is just horrendous to listen to without gnawing your own ears, eyes, and elbows off.

Our main win-con is to either burn them with draw and discard or mill them into the ground. Although, this is just secondary to our main goal which is to cause as much mayhem as possible! On that note, I intentionally did not include some infinite combos.

The fun really starts when Notion Thief hits the field. The game immediately turns into your opponents losing their minds while you gain so much more reading material!

This deck still needs a lot of work done. For starters there is a lot of cards in the sideboard slot that I would love to add in but I have no idea what to cut. I want to hear your suggestions so this deck can be all the hair pulling frustration it can be! Don't forget to +1 if you want to play it... or if being tortured is your thing, then play against it!

Date added	11 years
Last updated	3 years
Legality	This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	20 - 0 Mythic Rares 51 - 9 Rares 20 - 2 Uncommons 3 - 2 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.39
Tokens	Copy Clone, Emblem Chandra, Awakened Inferno, Emblem Chandra, Torch of Defiance, Emblem Dack Fayden, Emblem Ob Nixilis Reignited, Emblem Teferi, Temporal Archmage, Insect 1/1 UR, Manifest 2/2 C, Servo 1/1 C, Zombie 2/2 B