Alright, so I am typing this from my basement. There are Satan worshippers trying to get in and steal this deck (and possibly harm me). Let me tell you the story of this deck quickly and why I want you to build it.
I first made this deck a few months ago. I was new to EDH. I showed my friends
Barktooth Warbeard
as a potential commander: they all laughed at me. I don't know what was wrong with them. I thought he was a great commander. They tried to show me commanders like Doran, the Siege Tower and Geist of Saint Traft. But of course I never took their advice, because they both suck donkey balls. I decided to quit trying to make an EDH deck because there were no good generals that appealed to me.
But then, a pillar of light appeared in front of me. And within that pillar of light, was
Isamaru, Hound of Konda
.
Confused, I grabbed it. And then, I knew what to do. I quickly constructed this deck. Clearly 99 Plains were the best, because then I can cast Isamaru every two turns if he dies! When I finally sleeved up the deck, I heard the sound of angels singing. I quickly rushed to show my friends.
Of course, like the unhelpful jerks they were, they all laughed. Enraged, I challenged them. The biggest douchebag, a guy with a $1000 Rafiq of the Many deck accepted my challenge. So I played my commander turn 1 and passed. This is where it gets strange. My opponent played Noble Hierarch. Since I'm playing white and I don't have counterspells, I let it resolve. But when he puts it on the table, the card flips over and lands on the floor as if a gust of wind blew it. He put it back on the table, but it fell to the floor again. He does it again, and it lands on the floor. However, when he looks on the floor, it's nowhere to be seen. He starts to look for it. After a few minutes, he found it. His foil Noble Hierarch, pinned to the wall with a thumbtack through it.
I won a couple of local tournaments as well. Tournament after tournament, no one could stop me. I even tried my deck on MTGO and I still won everytime. Everyone conceded on turn 2 when I swung for 2 commander damage. When I shook their hands, they were sweaty and clammy. Their faces were pale and they shivered all over.
However, at every tournament, there was something strange. There was always a guy in a suit watching me play. I thought that he was some sort of security or something, but the same guy appeared at each tournament. One day, I was walking home. I opened the door, and there was my dog, dead. Tied around its neck was a string. And on a string was a message. It read "Give it to us." There was a copy of the old Alpha
Unholy Strength
, you know, the one with the pentagram.
That was really weird. I heard heavy footsteps behind me. The guy in the suit was there. He took off his coat, and on his chest was a tattoo of a pentagram. I immediately ran, holding my deck. He started to chase after me. At every corner, there were his minions. I ran downstairs and went into the basement. When I locked the door, I heard the suit guy saying "Give it to us. Mortals like you can't understand its power." They started to bang on the door. I heard the door starting to give way.
That's when I started to write this. I'm posting the deck list here so that some other player can win with my deck; so I can live on through this deck. However, they WILL get you, so
BUILD AT YOUR OWN RISK
