S.I.M.P (Squirrels In My Pants)

Commander / EDH* BG (Golgari) Sacrifice Squirrel Tokens Tokens

AdorkableMia

Creature (20)

• 1x Acornelia, Fashionable Filcher
• 1x Chittering Witch
• 1x Deep Forest Hermit
• 1x Drey Keeper
• 1x Earl of Squirrel
• 1x Ivy Lane Denizen
• 1x Jaheira, Friend of the Forest
• 1x Krosan Beast
• 1x Nadier's Nightblade
• 1x Nested Shambler
• 1x Nut Collector
• 1x Ravenous Squirrel
• 1x Scurrid Colony
• 1x Scurry Oak
• 1x Squirrel Dealer
• 1x Squirrel Mob
• 1x Squirrel Sovereign
• 1x Squirrel Wrangler
• 1x Toski, Bearer of Secrets
• 1x Viscera Seer

Artifact (9)

• 1x Acorn Catapult
• 1x Bootleggers' Stash
• 1x Chitterspitter
• 1x Commander's Sphere
• 1x Golgari Signet
• 1x Obelisk of Urd
• 1x Skullclamp
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Tamiyo's Journal

Enchantment (12)

• 1x Binding the Old Gods
• 1x Cloakwood Hermit
• 1x Doubling Season
• 1x Fecundity
• 1x Form of the Squirrel
• 1x Growing Rites of Itlimoc  ^Flip
• 1x Squirrel Farm
• 1x Squirrel Nest
• 1x Squirrel Sanctuary
• 1x Sylvan Anthem
• 1x Tribute to the World Tree
• 1x Vampiric Rites

Instant (10)

• 1x Assassin's Trophy
• 1x Body Count
• 1x Crop Rotation
• 1x Deadly Dispute
• 1x Golgari Charm
• 1x Murder
• 1x Return to Nature
• 1x Second Harvest
• 1x Verdant Command
• 1x Village Rites

Land (36)

• 1x Boseiju, Who Endures
• 1x Command Tower
• 1x Evolving Wilds
• 20x Forest
• 1x Reliquary Tower
• 10x Swamp
• 1x Swarmyard
• 1x Takenuma, Abandoned Mire

Commander (1)

Sorcery (12)

• 1x Acorn Harvest
• 1x Casualties of War
• 1x Chatter of the Squirrel
• 1x Chatterstorm
• 1x Damnation
• 1x Demonic Collusion
• 1x Diabolic Tutor
• 1x Lab Rats
• 1x Primal Command
• 1x Read the Bones
• 1x Reap and Sow
• 1x Regrowth

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Maybeboard

Creature (4)

• 1x Mazirek, Kraul Death Priest
• 1x Ohran Frostfang
• 1x Underworld Hermit
• 1x Yawgmoth, Thran Physician

Instant (2)

• 1x Body Count
• 1x Corrupted Conviction

Enchantment (4)

• 1x Grave Pact
• 1x Parallel Lives
• 1x Primal Vigor
• 1x Unnatural Growth

Artifact (1)

• 1x Eldrazi Monument

Sorcery (3)

• 1x Green Sun's Twilight
• 1x Plague of Vermin
• 1x Shamanic Revelation

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"But Mia, aren't un-cards banned in every format?" - some idiot

If the un-cards weren't already evident, this is a really casual commander deck. I mean it is a casual format after all. Anyways, I still wanted to make something fun and functional.

Your win condition is metric ton of squirrels. There's a lot of ways you can do this, starting firstly with Chatterfang, who's going to double your squirrel production.

Chatterfang works by creating squirrels when you create any token. That includes the tokens from both Bootleggers' Stash and Tamiyo's Journal. Bootlegger's Stash is great for the treasure tokens, but it's actual value comes from letting you make squirrels for every land you own, every single turn. Tamiyo's Journal gives you another constant source of squirrels; but even better, it lets you tutor for whatever you want, especially Doubling Season who's value I don't think I need to explain.

Squirrels aren't just your army, but they're also a resource you should treat like treasure, clue, or blood tokens. Sure you can attack with them, but you can get a ton more value out of them by using them as mana production from cards like Jaheira, Friend of the Forest, or Growing Rites of Itlimoc   once it's transformed. But if that wasn't enough, the value you can get from sacrificing squirrels can be great. Viscera Seer allows you to scry near constantly, and Skullclamp becomes two free cards for 1 mana and 1 squirrel. Vampiric Rites and Deadly Dispute both let you draw cards from sacrificing squirrels, with Deadly Dispute immediately creating a new squirrel if you have Chatterfang out.

Squirrels are both an army, and a resource.

Obviously there's a bunch of tutors in here as well, mainly so that you can fetch a doubling season, or whatever else you think you'll need. In an emergency, you can always pull Ivy Lane Denizen and Scurry Oak for infinite squirrels. But because that can often end the game, I recommend searching for Doubling Season, or something like Regrowth or Damnation depending on what you think you need.

Everything else exists to protect or enable your squirrels, while removing anything from the board that threatens your squirrels.

Make squirrels, get girls. Trust me, I'm girls

Top Ranked	Achieved #1 position overall 1 year ago
Date added	1 year
Last updated	1 year
Legality	This deck is not Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	4 - 0 Mythic Rares 31 - 0 Rares 17 - 0 Uncommons 18 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.05
Tokens	Acorn Stash Token, Clue, Copy Clone, Rat 1/1 B, Squirrel 1/1 G, Treasure
Folders	Deck ideas, awesome decks, Memes, Based Decks, Cool EDH Decks, Flavortown, Funsies/Other's Decks, A JANK SPANK, squirrel deck, commander decks