Teysa Is Kinda Sexy, Right?

Commander / EDH Artifact Double strike Equip Humans Voltron WB (Orzhov)

Voltron3030

Creature (24)

• 1x Archfiend of Depravity
• 1x Ardenn, Intrepid Archaeologist
• 1x Athreos, God of Passage
• 1x Avacyn, Angel of Hope
• 1x Baneslayer Angel
• 1x Bastion Protector
• 1x Bloodgift Demon
• 1x Elesh Norn, Grand Cenobite
• 1x Esper Sentinel
• 1x Firja, Judge of Valor
• 1x Fountain Watch
• 1x Grand Abolisher
• 1x Guardian of Faith
• 1x Hushbringer
• 1x Indomitable Archangel
• 1x Leonin Abunas
• 1x Mother of Runes
• 1x Puresteel Paladin
• 1x Sheoldred, Whispering One
• 1x Silent Arbiter
• 1x Solemn Simulacrum
• 1x Stoneforge Mystic
• 1x Stonehewer Giant
• 1x Vizkopa Guildmage

Sorcery (9)

• 1x Ancient Craving
• 1x Descend upon the Sinful
• 1x Diabolic Tutor
• 1x Divine Reckoning
• 1x Hour of Revelation
• 1x Merciless Eviction
• 1x Profane Tutor
• 1x Read the Bones
• 1x Unburial Rites

Land (35)

• 1x Ancient Den
• 1x Buried Ruin
• 1x Cathedral of War
• 1x Caves of Koilos
• 1x Command Beacon
• 1x Darksteel Citadel
• 1x Godless Shrine
• 1x Goldmire Bridge
• 1x Isolated Chapel
• 1x Marsh Flats
• 1x Nephalia Academy
• 1x Orzhov Basilica
• 10x Plains
• 1x Reliquary Tower
• 8x Swamp
• 1x Temple of Silence
• 1x Temple of the False God
• 1x Urza's Saga
• 1x Vault of the Archangel

Enchantment (10)

• 1x Battle Mastery
• 1x Duelist's Heritage
• 1x Hyena Umbra
• 1x Kaya's Ghostform
• 1x Land Tax
• 1x Monologue Tax
• 1x Necropotence
• 1x Phyrexian Arena
• 1x Shielded by Faith
• 1x Smothering Tithe

Commander (1)

Artifact (17)

• 1x Arcane Signet
• 1x Archaeomancer's Map
• 1x Argentum Armor
• 1x Assault Suit
• 1x Butcher's Cleaver
• 1x Colossus Hammer
• 1x Darksteel Plate
• 1x Fireshrieker
• 1x Godsend
• 1x Hedron Matrix
• 1x Lightning Greaves
• 1x Mind Stone
• 1x Orzhov Signet
• 1x Shadowspear
• 1x Sol Ring
• 1x Swiftfoot Boots
• 1x Sword of the Animist

Instant (4)

• 1x Anguished Unmaking
• 1x Dispatch
• 1x Mortify
• 1x Utter End

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Maybeboard

Enchantment (3)

• 1x Lightmine Field
• 1x Mantle of the Ancients
• 1x Revel in Riches

Artifact (2)

• 1x Hammer of Nazahn
• 1x Thought Vessel

Land (1)

• 1x Homeward Path

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Teysa is the sexiest woman over 100 years old until she is voltroning your throat hole. This was my very first EDH deck and by far the one I have spent the most time and money on tweaking here and there, ever striving for perfection.

The most effective strategy is to just buff the ever living shit out of Teysa and voltron people to death. She has protection from creatures so she is essentially unblockable and she can block just about anything with no consequences. Vigilance is sweet too. She also helps protect my life total because she always presents my opponents with a dilemma: do damage and lose a creature while giving me one, or attack someone else who is more vulnerable. You don't need a degree in Game Theory to see how most opponents make their decision while Teysa is glaring down their necks.

The best games are the ones with Stonehewer Giant . He can fetch all the equipment Miss Teysa could ever want. Like any woman, its good to give her shiny things often. The first thing I usually load her up with is Assault Suit because everybody loves their forced sacrifices in my playgroup.

Hedron Matrix alone can turn Teysa into an 11/11. From there, if I can give Ms. Karlov double-strike, then I can start one hitting people. This is accomplished with Battle Mastery , Fireshrieker , and/or Duelist's Heritage (I ran Silverblade Paladin for a bit but Teysa has pro-creatures so he doesn't technically work with her).

From my experience, this deck is most susceptible to token spam decks. I usually don't have a lot of blockers, so my friends have figured out they can go wide and just swing at me once for lethal. That's why I added Archfiend of Depravity and Silent Arbiter . These two are also some of my best lightning rods for this reason. The second best strategy at tearing this deck apart is blowing up my crucial artifacts. So I added Fountain Watch , Leonin Abunas , and Indomitable Archangel to keep my shiny things safe. It's really fun to put Silverskin Armor on one of these creatures, then show my opponents how tall my middle fingers can get.

I've tried to make this deck as rampy as I can given the colors without dropping a ton of money into things like Mox Opal or Cabal Coffers. Luckily I pulled a Smothering Tithe in a booster and ordered another when they were still only $3! Rocks are definitely more consistent as they are more plentiful. If I have two lands and all the right mana rocks, a turn 3 Teysa is possible and then it's possible to kill off the first opponent on turn 4. It's not typical (at all), but it's possible.

This is probably my most well rounded EDH deck, possibly my fastest too. It's the longest living deck in my current playgroup, and possibly the most detested too. I love it though.

Top Ranked	Achieved #6 position overall 8 years ago
Date added	9 years
Last updated	2 years
Legality	This deck is Commander / EDH legal.
Rarity (main - side)	11 - 0 Mythic Rares 41 - 0 Rares 23 - 0 Uncommons 7 - 0 Commons
Cards	100
Avg. CMC	3.39
Tokens	Angel 4/4 W, Construct 0/0 C, Spirit 1/1 WB, Treasure
Folders	Wish list , EDH - Orzhov , Upgrades, bootylicious, Fav, Cool Decks, simic, EDH?, Intresting, ded