The Dumbest Deck ever built™

Modern Budget Casual Combo Jank Theme/Gimmick UB (Dimir)

spudman3d

Land (2)

• 2x Island

Win The Game (1)

• 1x Thassa's Oracle

Rats (in spirit) (53)

• 53x Persistent Petitioners

Remove the Rats (4)

• 4x Surgical Extraction

---

Ideal turn order: Hand should have Surgical Extraction in it, the rest is irrelevant. The deck only plays 7 cards not named Persistent Petitioners so you will always have the ability to bin one if you don't mulligan. Choose to go second or if you lose the roll off your opponent will almost certainly chose to go first (This will happen 99% of the time). Mulligan until you get an extraction but if you mulligan you lose the ability to extract on turn 1 so the deck slows down considerably.

Turn 1

You do nothing on turn one and pass. On your end step you will have 8 cards in hand and need to discard down to 7. Discard a Persistent Petitioners and use Surgical Extraction (on your next untap step or sometime during your opponents end step) to target the copy of Persistent Petitioners that you discarded, which removes all copies of it from your hand, graveyard, and deck.

Turn 2 (ideally)

Now you will have at most 3 Surgical Extraction, Thassa's Oracle , and 2 lands left in your deck. Then use one of your other extractions that you have drawn or had in your hand to start the game to target the Surgical Extraction in your graveyard, removing the two copies of it that remain in your deck.

Turn 3 and beyond

At this point you should only have, at most, two lands and Thassa's Oracle in your deck, possibly even less if you got lucky and either drew a land or Oracle or had it in your opening hand. Once all of this has happened winning is easy, you simply play your remaining lands and Thassa's Oracle and once you have no cards remaining in your deck you win the game as a result of Thassa's Oracle's ability.

Card Selection:

Surgical Extraction

Surgical Extraction is the card that makes the deck run. There are other cards that remove cards from the deck, but they all cost mana, whereas extraction can be case for phyrexian black and at instant speed to boot. Extirpate would be so nice for this deck, but I would need to run more than 2 lands to make that viable. The same is true for Cranial Extraction, Lobotomy, Infinite Obliteration, Lost Legacy, and Memoricide but this time it is even worse as they all cost 3 or 4 mana. You could play a single copy of Surgical Extraction and win a turn quicker but given that you need one in your opening hand to have a chance at winning I'd recommend the full 4.

Thassa's Oracle

Previously the deck played Laboratory Maniac, which worked fine but it always meant that you needed to pass the turn after removing your entire deck which was awkward. Thassa's Oracle isn't strictly better than maniac but the fact that we can run one fewer land and win on the same turn we play Oracle makes it a massive improvement.

Persistent Petitioners

When I first built this deck there were only two cards that allowed you to play more than 4 copies: Relentless Rats and Shadowborn Apostle. Since then we've gotten Rat Colony and Persistent Petitioners, the latter of which being the first card not in black to let you play any number. Actually casting any of these creatures is incredibly unlikely so you could play any of them with very little impact on how the deck plays, but playing Persistent Petitioners means that you can play islands over Watery Grave and save some money.

Top Ranked	Achieved #16 position overall 7 years ago Achieved #1 position in Modern UB (Dimir) 2 years ago
Date added	7 years
Last updated	2 years
Legality	This deck is Modern legal.
Rarity (main - side)	5 - 0 Rares 53 - 0 Commons
Cards	60
Avg. CMC	1.93
Folders	idk, Casual, Black cards, Other, Future Decks, Meme Decks, MTG, jank, Modern Decks to Try?, try out