The Store
Welcome to the most overpriced store in the world. Here, everything costs something. Attacking costs. Using mana costs. Having lands costs. Playing spells costs. Not playing spells costs.
The store positions
Personal Sanctuary
- The board. They want to make sure that there is no unfair prices cough, cough, Sarcasm, cough, cough, and that the store does not get hurt during the interactions.
Manabarbs
- Our store manager. He incarnates the philosophy of this store: "You want to play? You have to pay."
Citadel of Pain
- Our newest recruit. He seems (and is) a bit crazy, and is a friend of the boss. He's polite but clumsy, and doesn't really do much. But when collaborating with his superior... miracles come true.
Karma
- Our fabulous clerk. He convinces all the customers to pay for everything, and to buy everything. "Let's see, that's 6 lands... That will be 6 damage, thank you very much!"
Sphere of Safety - Our security service. He makes sure that there's no stealing, and that people don't do a flash mob in the store. He can be very... persuasive.
Ghostly Prison - Our junior safety agent. She does a worse job than Sphere of Safety, but is on the job bright and early to make the customers pay!
Enlightened Tutor - Our employees manager. He makes sure everyone is there on time, before the store opens.
Expedition Map - Our landlady. She's that stereotypical grumpy old lady, but somehow, she always finds the cheapest building... With the Store expanding, she's needed more and more.
Black Vise - An associate to our facilities manager. The rule is, they have to pay if they want to leave. If they don't, they pay anyways.
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale - Our taxation manager. The big boss has decided to give him a try with his new ideas, as they believe that it would make the store advance. So far, so good...
Serra's Sanctum - Our grumpy treasurer. She somehow makes money appear out of nowhere, meaning that the store can keep running even in the face of terrible competition (sometimes from her own boss).
Quarantine Field
- Our night guard. He always comes in late, but when he does, nothing gets past the doors after hours.
The part-time employees
The Overpriced Store obviously has some competition, so the board decided to employ some part-time members to help out.
Blood Moon - Some of the competitors (though the Overpriced Store will obviously never be passed) use slaves, who they call fetches, to get their material for them. The Store is strongly anti-slavery, and hired Blood Moon to support them.
Replenish - There comes a time the life of a store where a hippie, such as Back to Nature walk in and create chaos in the quiet, expensive world of the firm (no offense meant to hippies). Replenish, having grown up in the 50s, knows how to deal with these...
Suppression Field - Recently, some competitors have tried to render some of the Overpriced Store's... methods useless. But the Overpriced Store will not give up so easily! They have employed this part time worker to help fight that!
War's Toll
Occasionally, something people like to call "burn" comes hitting on the door. The shoot out curse words like crazy, strike swiftly, and leave no remainders. The Overpriced Store has often been deranged by these hooligans, and is prepared to take all necessary action to stop them!
Interactions heard in the store
Karma + Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
- That's one damage per land, sir. "But I thought that was only when I buy it!" No, now you have to pay even if you don't buy it.
Personal Sanctuary
+ anything - No, only you have to pay. This is MY shop.
Sphere of Safety
+
Manabarbs
- Sir, you are allowed to do a flash mob, but you have to pay. Let's see, it's 10 life a person... You have 35 people in you flash mob... That will be 350 life, thank you very much.
Citadel of Pain
+
Manabarbs
- Alright sunny, I'll take care of the customers that pay, and you take care of the customers that don't pay.
A full hand + Black Vise - Sir, please don't make me intervene. You can either pay 11 life, or pay 11 life. It's your choice entirely.
Manabarbs
+
The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale
- "What, 10 life?!?! I thought that we only had to pay if we bought something!" "Sorry sir, you now have to pay just to be here."
Expedition Map + an important land - "Sweetie? It's time to get up... Sweetie...? I SAID GET UP AND COME OVER HERE, DAMN IT!!"
The strategy used to make customers buy
Set up the personal security with
Personal Sanctuary
, Sphere of Safety, and The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale, and make sure everyone is present with Enlightened Tutor and Expedition Map.
Convince your clients not to spend (right away, that is) with
Manabarbs
and
Karma
.
Watch them finally pay ridiculous prices with Black Vise and
Citadel of Pain
!
Budget Version
The (very) overpriced store: NOW BUDGET!!! will provide a cheaper version of some items if you are not willing to pay the (very) ridiculous prices offered by the board!
Conclusion
Please comment on the store, give +1s, and suggestions on how to make it more expensive still! Thank you!
The store does not guarantee satisfaction. If you are not satisfied with your purchase, please do not come and complain, WE WILL NOT HELP YOUR SORRY CASE.
- The Board
