Core Combo:
Grand Architect + Pili-Pala
Long and Elaborate Combo:
This is a (very long and elaborate) combo that gets you as many free drinks as you want (to a maximum of seventy-five per opponent), and rips up your opponents cards, and plays virtually infinite nested subgames, and beats your opponents with Wood Elemental - the worst card in magic - and sets up for next game as well, and makes your opponents concede, and steals up to twenty-five of the cards they own (per opponent), and makes it always your turn. This combo was partially made by WicKid52. If WicKid52 has any issues with this at all, please tell me.
START ON TURN FOUR
You should have at least one mana open, Pili-Pala and Grand Architect on the battlefield, and either Enter the Infinite or Blue Sun's Zenith in your hand. Pili-Pala cannot have entered the battlefield this turn.
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Tap {U} to make Pili-Pala blue using Grand Architect's ability.
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Tap and untap Pili-Pala over and over to get a centillion mana of each color.
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Cast Enter the Infinite or Blue Sun's Zenith to draw your entire deck.
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Cast Soulfire Grand Master. Before you cast an Instant or Sorcery, activate Soulfire Grand Master's ability. Every time. (You can now cast Instants and Sorceries as much as you want)
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Cast Hive Mind to make your opponents cast the same Instants and Sorceries as you.
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Cast Research four times. Your opponents' (and your) sideboards are in their owner's libraries.
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Cast Venser, Shaper Savant, targeting Hive Mind to cancel its effect temporarily.
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Cast Enter the Infinite (NOT Blue Sun's Zenith) to draw your sideboard.
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Cast Regress on Venser, Shaper Savant so that you can cast him again later.
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Cast Regress for each of your opponents' permanents. Their battlefield is in their hand!
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Cast Mental Vapors and make your opponents discard their hands.
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Cast Mnemonic Nexus once, to put everything into their library.
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Cast Walk the Aeons a centillion times, so that it will always be your turn. (During this game)
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Pass the turn, (it will be your turn) so that you can play lands before you execute the combo. You don't need to discard any cards, because of Enter the Infinite's effect.
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Once it's your turn, Play R&D's Secret Lair (Sorry, it doesn't link), so that your opponents have to buy the drinks from Ashnod's Coupon themselves.
The (Printed) text of R&D's Secret Lair is as follows:
{T}: Add {1} to your mana pool.
Play cards as written. Ignore all errata.
At this point, you can repeat this to get more and more drinks as much as you want.
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Cast Hive Mind again.
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Cast Soul Summons again, until your opponents' libraries are empty.
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Cast Venser, Shaper Savant on Hive Mind to disable it.
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Cast Regress targeting Venser, Shaper Savant.
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Cast Chaos Confetti.
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Cast Ensoul Artifact on Chaos Confetti so that you can copy it.
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Cast Mob Rule, to steal your opponents' creatures.
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Cast Mirrorweave on Chaos Confetti, to make all creatures into Chaos Confettis.
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Cast Time Machine, then cast another Time Machine.
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Cast another copy of Grand Architect and Pili-Pala.
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Send one copy of Grand Architect and one copy of Pili-Pala forward in time to your next game, using the two Time Machine's activated abilities.
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For each opponent, look at all of the face down cards they own, and separate them into one of three piles:
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Cards that you want to take from them and keep permanently (Maximum twenty-five).
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The thirty worst cards in their deck (Including basic lands).
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All other cards not yet in a pile.
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Tear all of the cards in the third (other cards) pile into pieces, because they're copies of Chaos Confetti.
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Cast Regress on all of the facedown cards in the first (take from them) pile.
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Cast Mental Vapors on your opponents until they have no cards in hand.
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Cast Mnemonic Nexus. All the cards that you want are now in their libraries.
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Cast Demonic Attorney over and over until you opponents libraries are empty. All of the cards that you want to take are now in the Ante.
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Cast Regress on every permanent (including your own) except Soulfire Grand Master.
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Cast Mental Vapors on your opponents until they have no cards in hand.
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Cast Mental Vapors on yourself until you have no cards in your hand except Mnemonic Nexus and Enter the Dungeon.
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Cast Mnemonic Nexus so that you now have a fully stocked library. Your opponents' libraries now contain the second (thirty worst cards) pile.
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Cast Enter the Dungeon. If you lose the subgame, just cast it again.
The only cards in the main game currently are Soulfire Grand Master, Mnemonic Nexus, Enter the Dungeon, and all of the cards that you Ante'd from your opponents' decks.
You can create infinite subgames like this.
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Continue making subgames within subgames within subgames, until you're about twelve levels deep (or your opponents threaten to concede).
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At this point, instead of casting Mental Vapors yourself like normal, (discarding your entire hand except Mnemonic Nexus and Enter the Infinite) only discard Forests, Islands, (not including Snow-Covered Islands) Yavimaya Coast, and Wood Elemental. Then create a new subgame. If you lose, just recast Enter the Dungeon.
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In these subgames, don't even try to get the infinite mana combo. Instead, just send Pili-Pala and Grand Architect forward in time.
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Try as hard as you can to kill all (or at least one) your opponents solely with Wood Elemental. Don't use any other methods to damage them. If Wood Elemental gets destroyed or countered, concede the subgame and play another.
Eventually, due to the power of mana screw and chaos theory, you will win a game with only Wood Elemental.
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Make sure that Pili-Pala and Grand Architect are currently in their time machines for next time you convince these opponents to play against this deck.
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Laugh at your opponents because you beat them with Wood Elemental, the worst card in magic.
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Just keep playing nested subgames until your opponents concede the main game.
When they concede the main game, you will own all the cards that you want from their decks.
After all of this, (Getting free drinks, ripping cards, sending your combo forward in time to your next game, beating your opponents with Wood Elemental, playing virtually infinite nested subgames, making your opponents concede, stealing a bunch of their cards, assembling an infinite time combo) I think you've won the moral victory. And the real victory too.
Yes, I know this deck isn't modern legal. It has six silver-bordered cards and two not modern legal card in the sideboard. But I made the maindeck modern legal. Thank you for reading this combo, I hope you enjoyed!
PS: This combo works with only one opponent, but I recommend having multiple opponents as it is more fun to watch them struggle.
The following people helped create or improve this deck in some way, shape, or form:
WicKid52, One_Ring_To_Rule, Daarkest
