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Pauper EDH White Weenies

May 22, 2019: I got first place in a multi-week Pauper EDH league with this deck! (In the finals, which I won, I played an even more broken deck: GW Enchantress Midrange [PDH].) My point margin left me decisively in first place, despite being the archenemy in the last few weeks.


Generic "turn creatures sideways" aggro deck. The basic strategy is to play a bunch of dudes, then buff them, but it's a lot more nuanced than that.

I'm a bit humbled to say this considering that Pauper EDH is a silly meme format, but this is one of the most fun decks I've ever played in any format ever-- it really really rewards you for tight play and really punishes you for sloppy play. You're rewarded for knowing when to take risks vs when to be patient. Every little "micro" decision matters a ton. I think if you like Affinity in modern, then you'll love this deck.

Aim for a starting hand with 2-3 lands, at least one 1 drop creature, and a spell that targets Phalanx Leader (preferably protection). Against (mono-)blue decks, play Phalanx Leader on turn 2; against red/black decks packing interaction, play on turn 3 with protection.

The snow-covered plains are purely for Gelid Shackles. Ironically, half the time I'm casting this card on my commander for the buff, so it's not like the activated ability is even always relevant. The 100% optimized version of this deck runs exclusively snow-covered plains (which make up literally half the paper cost of the deck), but feel free to play some non-snow plains or cut Gelid Shackles entirely for a tech card.

0-1 CMC weenies: Best to Worst

  • Deftblade Elite: A totally insane card with not one but two very relevant abilities that sometimes even synergize. Good early game removal, good late game for fogging, and it gets only better with +1/+1 counters. It's the best weenie in the deck. Give it first strike for extra hilarity!

  • Thraben Inspector: It's too bad there aren't multiple of these because I'd play like 12 of these if I could. The 1/2 body already makes it slightly above average on the stats, but the fact that it eventually cantrips means it's literally never a dead draw.

  • Soul Warden, Soul's Attendant: Best turn 1 play for the deck, and a respectable top-deck later in the game. These bad gals will gain you tons of life and a comfy cushion against other aggro/midrange strategies.

  • Benevolent Bodyguard: Another great turn 1 play that lets you tap out for Phalanx Leader, or just give it a little bit of extra protection. And it's probably the single best top-deck. It's one of the best weenies to be playing because at every point in the game, it protects your best weenie. Even if it becomes a 4/4 and you need to sac it, as bad as that feels, note that it'll be protecting likely another 4/4, and the one that one of your opponents wants most removed.

  • Faerie Guidemother: Arguably the best "flying man" in this deck. Pump and 1/1 flyer for 1 is a lot of value on a single card.

  • Healer's Hawk: Flying AND lifelink are the two best combat-relevant keywords for this deck, and they slapped it on a single card that costs 1 mana!

  • Icatian Javelineers: The first and best of this deck's sweet tech cards. Pinging down a 1-toughness creature or threatening to turn alpha attacks or chump blocks into actual creature kills changes the dynamics of the combat step a lot. And add onto that the fact that it doesn't even sacrifice itself to do that? Hell yes!

  • Ornithopter: 0 mana is pretty big for tempo. It's one of the worst nonland topdecks in the deck, but it's also one of the best cards to have in your opening hand.

  • Law-Rune Enforcer, Fan Bearer, Gideon's Lawkeeper, Goldmeadow Harrier, Mothrider Patrol: Tapping down scary lifelinkers before they can attack or so that they can't block is incredibly relevant, which makes these 4 bad boys some of the best topdecks late game. When pumped, they're also great on defense, especially if the largest creature on the board is controlled by the player to your immediate right. (I.e. use it to threaten blocks to your opponents on the left and just tap down the rightmost player's big dude.)

  • Devout Harpist: Niche tech for beating Satyr Enchanter decks-- or any incidential auras, really. The fact that it doesn't need to sac itself means this card is too good at accumulating value to not play, even if its ability isn't always relevant, and this card will win you games you don't deserve to win.

  • Rustwing Falcon, Loyal Pegasus, Segovian Angel, Ranger's Hawk: All the flying men are excellent. Loyal Pegasus's drawback isn't normally relevant, but the extra power is nice. Same with War Falcon. Rustwing Falcon has better stats than a 1/1. Segovian Angel has vigilance, which is often quite relevant. Lantern Kami is like 0.0001% better than other vanilla 1/1 fliers via not dying to Rend Flesh. (Also, if you want to replace War Falcon for another 1/1 flyer with no drawbacks, go for it). Ranger's Hawk is a 1/1 with upside.

  • Ramosian Sergeant: The grindiest of the grind cards, and control players will definitely counter the hell out of this if they can afford to do so. Check out the 2cmc rebels for more.

  • Death Speakers: Yet more tech that sometimes doesn't matter, but can be huge when it does matter.

  • Nyxborn Shieldmate, Hopeful Eidolon: Both modes for this card are thoroughly unimpressive, but the fact that it has two modes (one for early game, one for topdeck mode) is good enough reason to play these cards.

  • Phyrexian Walker: 0-mana is very fast, and this does great things if it's in your opening hand. That said, it's a really horrible topdeck.

2 CMC weenies: Best to Worst

  • Suture Priest: Totally nuts card. Just read it, and then consider that it's a 4 player format. On turn 2 you're gonna get a lot of value out of this.

  • Syndic of Tithes: Pretty bad early game but holy cow does it make your late game topdecks kick ass.

  • Ramosian Lieutenant, Defiant Falcon: Necessary parts of the rebel package. Late game this thing taps to get removal (Zealot il-Vec, Bound in Silence), which is super sweet. Note that Bound in Silence brought into the battlefield through one of these activated abilities gets around hexproof, which means the rebel package can be a pretty clean counter to some of the strongest decks in the format if they can't answer the aura (Invisible Stalker, Satyr Enchanter, Slippery Bogle).

  • Ainok Bond-Kin: One of the reasons we're not super deep on first strike (other than it being a pretty medium keyword) is because we have this bad boy. Having one creature with first strike is fine but having multiples changes combat math for you a lot, especially on defense where combat tricks become almost completely neutered. So heck yeah we'll play this.

  • Obsidian Acolyte: You have much less reason to fear Pestilence, Crypt Rats, Relentless Rats, and other black shenanigans when this guy is out. When it's good, it's good.

  • Raise the Alarm: Two dudes for two mana is great! And it's an instant! Compare this to a 2/2 for 2 mana: If you play this turn 2, and play the commander turn 3 plus a buff, you get to have two 2/2's. If you played the 2/2, you'd have a 3/3, and I think the two 2/2's are better. The discrepancy only gets larger the more +1/+1 counters you start adding: two 4/4's versus a 5/5, etc.

  • Gather the Townsfolk: Two bodies for two mana is good even at sorcery speed.

  • Cavalry Pegasus: Enough of the dudes in this deck are humans on the ground (18 out of 27 non-flying creatures are humans, excluding the commander), and this card is thus worth running. (Note: some old cards have been errata'd to be humans: Deftblade Elite, Devout Harpist, Obsidian Acolyte, Ramosian Lieutenant, Ramosian Sergeant)

Sideboarding

This deck is already mostly "sideboarded" because niche tech cards on 1-2 mana 1/1 bodies are super duper playable (see: lifegain stuff, enchantment destruction, etc.). That said, there are a few flex slots if you want to go deep. Find them and do some replacements. There are plenty of suggestions in the sideboard. Here are some that might be a bit more common:

Suggestions

Comments

Revision 19 See all

(11 months ago)

+1 Miner's Guidewing main
Date added 6 years
Last updated 11 months
Legality

This deck is Pauper EDH legal.

Cards 100
Avg. CMC 1.39
Tokens Clue, Dungeon: Dungeon of the Mad Mage, Dungeon: Lost Mine of Phandelver, Dungeon: Tomb of Annihilation, Goblin 1/1 R, Human 1/1 W, On an Adventure, Skeleton 1/1 B, Soldier 1/1 W, The Atropal, The Monarch, Treasure, Warrior 1/1 W w/ Vigilance
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