Bullies in my class
The Blind Eternities forum
Posted on Sept. 15, 2016, 6:23 p.m. by smackjack
Ok, heres another non magic related topic.
I recently started working as a teacher at a gymnasium (don't know if gymnasium is the right word, but school for 17-20 years olds). I have no teaching degree, I was recruited because of my work experience alone.
Now, we seem to have bullying in one of my classes. One girl takes a lot of downgrading comments and "eye contacts" (cant find the right term in english, you understand). Other classmates has recognised and reported this..
This eats me up. I was once bullied myself and its the one thing i hate the most in this world. The Principal on the school has talked to me about the problem and asked my to keep an eye up during class, and firmly take a stand if i see anything.
Now, I know bullies is nice once the teacher is around, and once they turn their back they strike. And god condemn social media in this case ffs. If i see anything during my class i will truly go bananas. I will scare them to tears. But i don't think I ever will see it during class, these guys are sneaky.
How can I take a stand against bullying without actual confrontation of it? The other part is claiming its apparently the same for her, but i have never seen her in the mood I've seen the bullied girl. Ive worked there for 4 weeks, and last week i noticed the girl was all out of energy and will to work. I actually thought she was sick :(. She had no "life" and answered my questions short and shy, it was different 3 weeks ago.
I take this really serious, and this forum thread is of course not my way of finding an answer. This problem was brought up as a real problem this week, and i work a 3 day week so i have not had much time to discuss this with my colleagues. This thread is just for preparation for how I would suggest a solution. We are gonna have a meeting next Tuesday. Any advice you think i should bring up?
I greatly appreciate your response.
You could be a little sneaky, too. Perhaps listen at the door before you come in the room, or try to peek, or "spy" from a vantage point that the bully cannot see. Perhaps this way you can catch them in the act.
Bullying is indeed one of the worst things, because it drains confidence and happiness from its victims. I hope you have success in dealing with this problem. Best wishes.
September 15, 2016 7:26 p.m.
scopesightzx says... #4
If you have access to a computer, try setting up a web camera that isn't easy to see. This is more useful for moments when you have to leave the room for something
September 15, 2016 8:02 p.m.
Now, I don't have any real teaching experience, but I do have a ton of team-building experience
The bully is doing this because they are the kind of person that needs attention. They either aren't getting enough attention at home, from their peers, or are insecure with themselves. Some people will take this insecurity and use it to punish others, because they aren't capable of punishing themselves
I would not start with a team meeting as a group. If you talk about bullying as a class, everyone will know who is being bullied and who are the bullies. That is feeding the attention they crave and acknowledging it openly
I would start by having a private meeting with everyone involved, but one at a time. Ask the bully why they feel the need to be mean? Does it truly bring them happiness, because if it does it's likely temporary and that's why they continue to do it
You do need to help the confidence of the one who is being bullied. This is the hard part. They clearly know that bullies exist and to, in their own way, cope with this and not let it affect who they are. There are roughly 7 billion people on this planet. They're not all assholes, I swear
I would avoid going bananas and attacking the bullies, as you'll lose all trust from the group. You do need to be the authority and make sure that a line is drawn, so don't stoop to their level!
Good luck, and trust in yourself!
September 15, 2016 9:37 p.m.
smackjack - One of these will happen on it's own but with your influence you can steer the situation into one of your choosing. Maybe.
(A) Both students stay. Nice student develops problems like drug abuse, obesity, bad friends, depression etc.
(B) Both students stay. Fight occurs. Student stabbed, beaten, or injured beyond the ability to work. Students might get along after. Student fighting may get worse.
(C) Nice student leaves the program. Bad student stays. You have to teach a horrible little monster.
(D) Mean student is kicked out of the program. Good student flourishes. More likely that new students decide to stay in the program.
(E) Both set of parents makes their kids stop it. You need to make both parents provide social media post history.
Anyway focus on the outcomes.
September 15, 2016 10:41 p.m.
Thanks for your replies. Now, the girl who used to bully her is backing off, but other groups are taking the place and as soon as today i had a lection where she appeared apathetic and down. I talked to the class coach (the one who made me aware of the problem) and she is aware of the shift of bullies. I asked her if it was real bullying or just a conflict and she said its bullying. They are purposely evil towards the girl..
I want to go to my boss (the school boss, dont know the english word) and demand expulsion. Bullying is not a thing you can accept in my world. Dammit, work is complicated enough :S
September 22, 2016 7:25 p.m.
Bullying is a sad part of human nature. There are many motivations: competition, belonging, boredom or even just extra entertainment, a show of loyalty and favoritism toward a rival, recover from low self esteem the bully feels themselves, a method of enforcing unofficial social conformity norms, a testing or challenging of authority of the system, an attempt to take over control of the class ...
As a teacher, I have found the following things to help reduce the behavior and it's impact (although it seems unlikely to be possible to stop it since adults do it themselves): increased class structure, seating arrangements or use of proximity to keep the bully near you as much as possible, conferencing with both individuals, gatherings that humanize class members, inspirational Ted talks, intentional grouping that separates bullying cliques and supports bullying targets.
It is unlikely that your boss will do anything about it besides look down on you for even bringing it up. I have found this in every school I worked or subbed at. Administrators will keep one bully at the expense of half a dozen nonbullies leaving because they think this is how to make more money. Bullies who carry on this way are often under the impression that they are exceptional and better than others and often times they have a networking reason for believing this. The really unfortunate thing is that when this is condoned and promoted, the bullying increases to the point of creating toxic environments and even fight schools where kids start taking things into their own hands (fists) because no adults are willing to acknowledge the problem, let alone do anything about it.
It is likely that the bullies will claim they aren't doing anything wrong and are just having fun. It is advisable for the bullied person to choose a mix of strategies for self confidence, fitting in, and standing up for herself because she may face this over and over again for the rest of her life.
October 16, 2016 10:13 a.m.
There is a book about bullies in the workplace called "The No Asshole Rule" and the latest ideas I have seen and been trying out in the classroom involve getting other students involved in an intentional positive cultural engineering effort. This can involve giving students leadership roles and having the students themselves be primary promoters of healthy and respectful environments.
ChiefBell says... #2
Just be extra vigilant and try to catch the bullies out. They'll overstep the mark eventually and you'll be able to notice it. Once that happens you can make an example of them to discourage further behaviour.
You could also try supporting the girl instead of contronting the bullies. You might never gather enough evidence you need to catch them but you can certainly give her encouragement and kindness to make her feel better.
September 15, 2016 7:02 p.m.