Just MORE Chatting
The Blind Eternities forum
Posted on Feb. 27, 2015, 12:54 p.m. by PreZchoICE1
fresh start. GO
VampireArmy says... #2
Femme this line makes me sad and you know why
"Especially if she's female, she needs to learn when to go out and where to go to avoid being a rape victim"
April 13, 2015 12:56 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #3
What he's saying is that he will deny his child sexual education till it is too late Rasta_Viking29. That is not okay. You, as the parent, need to be the one to teach your child these things before they go out and experience them for themselves and get into trouble. If you teach your child these things, they are more likely to not go out and do them. Teaching your child sexual education yourself, and not the t.v programs, not the media, not the celebrities, not the politicians, not their 5 month older peers who know jack shit about the issue. You as the parent are educated in this matter more than all the other forms of exposure your child will get to sexually related matters. You can teach your child the right from the wrong and instill your values into them before all this other shit affects them.
April 13, 2015 12:58 p.m.
Epochalyptik says... #4
@Zoo: That's at least a more honest representation of the situation. But when you start throwing around words like "moral" and "reckless," then you begin to presume to arbitrate what is and isn't acceptable generally.
April 13, 2015 12:59 p.m.
Remember it's a womans fault! Jesus christ.
Also both you and rasta are straw manning and conflating. Educating and being aware does not mean 'encourage cheating and deception'. At no point did I say that was ok. I just said encourage your child to go for what they want sexually. I didn't say 'and also tell them it's ok to cheat and hurt other peoples feelings etc'.
Jesus I wanted to leave this but I can't stand straw man fallacies. Both you and rasta have done that.
April 13, 2015 1 p.m.
Thanks Rasta_Viking29 You said it better than I could - and Epoch. I did bring it on myself by using words that indicate judgement.
Femme_Fatale You misunderstand me. I'm not going to keep her in the basement. But I'm also not going to help her become comfortable with sexuality before she's even a teenager.
April 13, 2015 1:05 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #7
I hope you realize that becoming comfortable with one's sexuality at the teenage years is the MOST vital, otherwise they could run into the serious problem of never actually understanding oneself sexually in the future, and making decisions that they will regret. I know a woman who was basically told her sexuality was shit and that she isn't allowed to explore it during her teenage years. She's 32 and is suffering from severe depression from never learning her sexuality and from constantly being shamed by her family for who she is.
April 13, 2015 1:10 p.m.
Rasta_Viking29 says... #8
Femme_Fatale his kid is a toddler. Nobody wants to think about teaching a toddler about sex. As his kid matures he will better understand it's needs and how to approach the subject.
Parenting is not so black and white. You can't just assume your child will see you as the authority on a subject. Outside influences are very real. Their own wants and desires are very real.
April 13, 2015 1:10 p.m.
Rasta_Viking29-As a parent myself, as I mentioned in my previous comment, I don't totally agree with you. While he is ok to have his own OPINION on the subject and raise his daughter as he sees fit, he is not ok to tell everyone else here that their OPINION (whether fact based or not) is wrong on the sole basis that they do not align with his. At first, I thought about completely dismissing your comment altogether, until I read a little further down and noticed we have an eerily similar past (specifically spouse reference) and similar OPINIONS on sex in the media and society. My involvement in this entire discussion has been based on not holding others to one's own ideals. Personally, I could care less how he raises his daughter. If Chief is correct and she needs therapy later in life because he shelters her from the goings on of the real world rather than educate her as to why he feels that certain things are wrong, well that is rather unfortunate, but the fact remains that it will have no bearing on any of our lives but his and his family's. Likewise, what I teach my children will have no bearing on any of you. What I do take offense to out of everything he has said though is his inference earlier that my relationship with my bi-sexual former exotic dancer wife is any less special than that of his with his wife due to the fact that we had more of a "past" than they aparently did. Who is he to make that claim?
April 13, 2015 1:11 p.m.
I entirely agree with that point Rasta. I think we need to give our kids age appropriate advice. All I object to is the blanket claim that those who have lots of sex are somehow worse than those that don't. Theres no evidence for this. You can teach your 14/15/16 year old that it's ok to sleep around as long as they make their partners aware that they are doing so. Honesty and respect is the MOST important thing.
April 13, 2015 1:17 p.m.
Rasta_Viking29 says... #11
ChiefBell I made no straw man arguments... Just an analogy. Your all theories, book knowledge, and liberal propaganda on this subject. Relax! You don't have to try to raise yourself to some intellectual pedestal on every subject. There is wisdom to be found in heeding the views and experiences of those who have been there done that.
April 13, 2015 1:18 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #12
I know all of that Rasta_Viking29, but the sooner he sees the better. I am also a mother myself. I had to fight my child through trying to get her off of drugs and alcohol. I nearly lost her to suicide. But I forged her to become strong no matter what she comes across, no matter what happens to her or what she does herself.
April 13, 2015 1:21 p.m.
You did insinuate that we were making some claims and using some logical processes that I wasn't.
April 13, 2015 1:22 p.m.
UrbanAnathema says... #14
I must have missed the "liberal propaganda"... but then again I usually do. =P
April 13, 2015 1:23 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #15
I also want to say that if I didn't explore my sexuality at the young age of 15 or so, I would have long since have killed myself from fear of raping someone.
April 13, 2015 1:27 p.m.
CanadianShinobi says... #16
Are we going to talk about politics now? Because I have several thoughts on why conservatives are evil.
April 13, 2015 1:28 p.m.
Rasta_Viking29 says... #17
Femme_Fatale I do not recognize your friendship/mentoring as motherhood. I'm not saying you can't define it in your own way but that's the way I view things. I have found pseudo families occur most often in social circles where people are emotionally unhealthy and are used to cope and hide from reality.
April 13, 2015 1:32 p.m.
slovakattack says... #19
Anyone for tennis?
C'mon guys. We all have different views on this stuff, and there's literally 0 point in arguing if one of either party is not intent on changing it's view- and I know none of us are trying to broaden our perspectives with this conversation.
Arguing for argument's sake is an awful pastime, and we really shouldn't be doing it at all, much less on a forum where people come to escape the stress of day-to-day.
April 13, 2015 1:38 p.m.
Canadian, I tend to have a conservative edge to my politics. Am I part evil? My father who donates his time to various charities to make kids with leukemia and cancer feel better is very conservative. I guess that makes him Satan.
April 13, 2015 1:38 p.m.
slovakattack says... #21
And... look. Maybe it's just this thread, and not the whole website. Maybe. I get that I can just leave if I don't like it.
If you guys really want this thread to be about this dreck day-in, day-out, then I'll go.
April 13, 2015 1:39 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #22
Emotionally unhealthy is probably right, she's a rape victim and family abuse victim (her family used to beat her) and I'm trans. But assuming that we are trying to hide from reality? That's rich.
April 13, 2015 1:42 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #23
slovakattack You should join my deckbuilding challenge :P
April 13, 2015 1:42 p.m.
CanadianShinobi says... #25
xzzane I dunno... are you secretly Stephen Harper?
slovakattack if you stay I'll give you a sticker.
But this is after I have a nap. Please no shanking while I pass out from exhaustion.
April 13, 2015 1:43 p.m.
FAMOUSWATERMELON says... #26
You guys have literally been arguing for the last three hours. Any break anytime soon?
April 13, 2015 1:43 p.m.
I'm not familiar with canadian politicians. I am, however, familiar with baseless assumptions and I just heard one from you that really pissed me off.
April 13, 2015 1:47 p.m.
Yep I'm out.
slovakattack You're entirely right. Opinion arguments are hopeless. And not the best substance on a forum we come to for fun.
In closing:People are damn complicated,..(especially here).
April 13, 2015 1:49 p.m.
slovakattack says... #29
VampireArmy: Deckbuilding challenge?
CanadianShinobi: You'll get a sticker if you actually fite me in the League, mate.
April 13, 2015 1:49 p.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #31
The Canadian government is in a terrible state. I'm guessing Harper is conservative. I really don't care for political labels.
April 13, 2015 1:52 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #33
C'mon you get to teach people about your favorite historical figure WHILE building an MTG deck!
April 13, 2015 1:58 p.m.
Rasta_Viking29 says... #34
Femme_Fatale wallpapering over the problems that exist between her and her mother is hiding in a way. Parents fail their children all the time and vice versa. Now the relationship might not be a in place where it can be worked on or even salvaged, that's a reality of life and a psuedo relationship might help cope. If she introduces you as her mother than she is just hiding her real mother daughter relationship and presenting a more favorable reality in order to not rehash old pain. Once again not judging, just calling it like I've seen it.
April 13, 2015 2:01 p.m.
Trying to create the best mono black edh land base.This is what I came up with:
1x Ancient Tomb
1x Bojuka Bog
1x Eye of Ugin
1x High Market
1x Mikokoro, Center of the Sea
1x Strip Mine
24x Swamp
My mono black decks always run both Crucible of Worlds and Kozilek, Butcher of Truth so that explains why Eye of Ugin, Strip Mine and Lake of the Dead are auto included.
April 13, 2015 2:38 p.m.
eh. It was mainly to force a topic change while still being constructive. Plus it's more general. I suppose I could have posted it in the EDH forum.
April 13, 2015 2:44 p.m.
I know Tibbles doesn't care, but I'm still sick. Threw up twice in school today, and I still feel like shit, but I have a mountain of homework to do. Ughhhhhhhh.
-x-Juuzou-x-x- You forgot Boseiju, Who Shelters All and Reliquary Tower, I am using both in a mono-black Maralen brew I'm working on.
April 13, 2015 2:51 p.m.
I never run Reliquary tower, like ever. 9 times out of 10 I WANT to discard.
I'm trying to get Boseiju, Who Shelters All, but Already I'm losing life from ancient tomb and my swamp count is low. Is it worth going down to 23 swamps just to protect Exsanguinate?
April 13, 2015 2:56 p.m.
okay. I assumed this fell under "very casual". I am not a clever human.
April 13, 2015 2:59 p.m.
I just wrote like seven large paragraphs on my smartphone before accidentally hitting subscribe and having it all erased, so i'm gonna state before i start again that i'm not kinda pissed and that might color this statement.
Let me start off my giving my background. I grew up sheltered, heard about sex when i was younger but that just wasn't something i was interested in, and none of my classmates were really interested either. At around 12/13 (eighth grade), we had sex ed, and I had "the talk" with my parents. We were all hitting puberty then and were more interested in talking about it. I learned about sex through my friends, the internet, books (both educational and novels), and my parents. While I know they weren't the most comfortable talking about it, they didn't give me false information or hide stuff from me. I've always been comfortable with my sexuality, straight male, and while I have considered being Bi, it just hasn't really ever interested me enough to ever find out.
Moving on. I'm currently twenty five. When I was younger, I had some health issues. I had.. not exactly experimental heart surgery, but I was part of a case study on a new type of heart surgery when I was two weeks old. They had to tighten the left pulmonary artery. When I was thirteen, they had to loosen the artery as it was getting constricted because I was bigger than I was when I was an infant. Everything went well, but as as result of the surgery, I ended up with MRSA (medically resistant staff infection) in my chest cavity and almost died. If you don't know, something like 70% of staff infections are picked up in hospitals post surgery. Fortunately I'm still around, but it did leave me feeling much older than my peers who now took life so much differently than myself. At the same time, since I had missed about six months of school, I also felt younger than my peers because they had a bunch of communal experience together that I didn't have. As a result, it was kinda hard to relate to people until I was about sixteen/seventeen, and I lost myself in WoW, where your age really didn't matter as much as school. I'm bringing this up because after that medical issue, I really wasn't interested in anything sexually related for a good many years. I just thought all the girls my age were kinda vapid, and many of my guy friends as well.
So, the first time I made out with a girl I was eighteen. Was at the prom after-party. Lost my virginity at 22. Had plenty of chances to lose it earlier, but I wanted to save it for someone I really cared about, and I don't regret for a second that I did so. That relationship didn't last (ended on good terms, i'm still great friends with her), but again, definitely glad I waited.
Alright, so that's my background.
I'm going to first off state that I am all for being open about sex with your children. Make sure they understand what it is, don't shelter them from it, don't give them bad information, make sure they are safe about it. Mine did, and i'm very grateful for it. At the same time, don't rush them into it. That's their choice and they should be aware of the impact that having sex has on you. And it does have an impact. Many of my guy friends at the ages of 16-18 who had sex went from being nice, to being very arrogant little shitheads who literally got off on taking the virginity of other naive kids. Both the guys and girls became more pompous, as if they were more important because "hey I've had sex and you haven't". On the other hand, I had friends that stayed the same but just became more confidant. Lastly, i've known a few who became very unhappy after having sex so young (and yes, 16 is young). The point is, kids need to be aware that this is going to have an impact on their life, and not just how to stay safe.
Now on to what I think many of you need to hear. Yes, Zoo and Rasta's opinion isn't popular. But you know what? They are damn well entitled to their own opinion. Just as the rest of you are damn well entitled to your own opinion. But you know what else? You are not entitled to make fun of them, laugh at them, and tell them their opinion is wrong/bad/outdated/incorrect/whatever the fuck else just because you don't agree with it. Nope, no you fucking don't. Case studies do help, but they are not the end all, be all proof to end an argument, as their sample sizes of participants are not big enough for a matter like this, not by a long shot, nor do they take into account that people lie quite often in them.
And you know what else? Just because they want the best for their kids and want to keep em sheltered doesn't mean they are going to become psychologically fucked in the head. That's not how it works. Just because some people end up confused and in need of psychological help because of being sheltered about sex when they were younger doesn't mean it's at all the norm. I have a bunch of female friends who didn't have sex (by choice, they were all very pretty), until they were 18-23. Some grew up sheltered, some didn't, none of em have issues. For many, many, many years sexuality has not been something that has been this openly discussed. And you know what? We have the most sexually confused generation of kids today than we've ever had. Yes, i'm sure many people over the years have had to hide their true gender/sexuality. Not going to argue that. Also, we haven't really been aware of the true abundance of psychological issues in the past. But you also can't deny the absolute abundance of confused children today compared to any other period in time. You know when the last time we were this open about sex at 10-12 was? The fucking dark ages when women were married off at 10-12. Do we want to go back to that? I fucking don't.
This new liberal movement about lgbt awareness, race awareness, and the feminist movement is absolutely fantastic in that it's bringing knowledge and acceptance to those who didn't really think about it. And that's great. You should be treated equally no matter your gender, sexual orientation, or race. That's fucking obvious. But this movement is also terrible in that those who disagree with it, those who have legitimate questions and concerns about some of the stuff regarding these issues are shouted down, made to look like racist/misogynist pigs, who can't possible be educated / know what they are talking about. "Mansplaining" is an great example here. Many of these new tumblr feminists have coined this phrase. For those of you who don't know what it means, it's basically used when men try and explain or argue about an issue regarding women. An example is why women might or might not have fair wages in the work force. They are told that they are men and therefore need to keep their opinions to them-self, as they can't possible have any sort of understanding. And honestly? These people with these arguments are completely undermining the feminist movement. That argument is just as sexist, if not more so, than what they are fighting for in the first place. On top of that, I recently read an article on the NYTimes about how in multiple different elementary schools, teachers are yelling, actually yelling, at parents for naming their kids traditional boy/girl names. Apparently, they are "not giving their kids the chance to define their own sexuality and how dare they try and force that sex upon them". I wish I was kidding but i'm not. Clearly, this has gone too far in some aspects.
My point is that everybody is different, and everybody is entitled to their own opinion. They are also just as entitled to express their opinion. Just because you don't like or agree with it doesn't automatically make them wrong (no it fucking doesn't), or make you right/more enlightened than them.
April 13, 2015 2:59 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #46
All I can say is being entitled to your opinion doesn't excuse you from being criticized for it on public forums.
I have a LOT to say about the "liberal" agenda of gender/feminism/ect but quite honestly I'm not ready for that kind of heat today.
Don't want to take criticism for an unpolular opinion? Take that opinion to an echo chamber
April 13, 2015 3:11 p.m.
And my point is that you don't get to criticize someone for their opinion just because you have the more popular one and disagree with them.
April 13, 2015 3:13 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #49
Actually yes I do. I have the right to disagree as much as they do. Just because I tell them they're wrong doesn't make it so but I can tell them all I want.
DNB says... #1
People naturally want to eat because food is good. People that don't resist the urge to eat constantly are going to become fat. People want to have sex because sex is good,.. those who don't moderate themselves become sluts. Fat and slut is ok,.. I'll just try to avoid both of those with my kid. I'm sure you understand why.
April 13, 2015 12:54 p.m.