My journey
The Blind Eternities forum
Posted on Sept. 10, 2014, 7:10 p.m. by ChiefBell
On Saturday the 5th I checked into a rehab clini as an intern. I live with the patients here and learn about their lives and stories. In this particular clinic most patients were either heroin users or alcoholics. I've been getting up with them at 6.30 and going for meditation, and then not sleeping until 11 pm after group meetings and many other activities are finished. This is the most challenging experience of my life ever, hands down. The stories these guys could tell are endlessly tragic, yet there's burning hope and life in a recovering addict. A strength of resolve that most people don't have. Every day you feel physically and emotionally exhausted.
When I checked in I thought I'd leave the internet, my phone, and other worldly possessions behind for a while. I've had many problems doing this. Mainly because I've had to make phone calls about security clearance stuff. This is very dull and goes to show that life doesn't always work out. I've also had a few mental health problems flare up since being here because being a counsellor in this environment is harrowing. Due to this I thought I'd write to you guys now to let you know what I'm doing as a kind of catharsis.
I'm here for 3 months. Living among patients as young as 18 and as old as 70. Ex members of the mafia, and women who have no criminal convictions. The repentant and the still struggling. I thought I was signing up for an academic and skills based experience. Really this is a spiritual and psychological journey. I'm learning more about myself than psychology.
Given my own history with substances and medical issues I relate with these guys every single day and I think that will make me a good counsellor one day. That day is still far away though. I need to steel my resolve and toughen my skin before I can do this as a job. Until then I live with those that hurt the most and humbly request that they accept me so that I can better understand their needs and my own.
I would urge anyone to try and find respect for those with the strength to turn their lives around despite great adversity. I propose a moment of silence for the still struggling addict, as a way to remember.
grumbledore says... #3
this was beautifully written... thank you for sharing.
September 10, 2014 7:13 p.m.
Yo man, that shit is real and people deal with all kinds of addiction's everyday, big ups to you for volunteering to help out and learn as much as you can there.
You're definitely going to come out a better man and have a very deep understanding of that aspect of life afterwards.
Kudos to you man.
September 10, 2014 7:24 p.m.
slovakattack says... #6
That's awesome, ChiefBell. As someone who hopes to go into clinical psychology myself, I have great respect for what you're doing =)
September 10, 2014 7:24 p.m.
VampireArmy says... #7
I wish my biological parents knew a person like you bell. You're doing a saints work. Know that every one of us here lends you our thoughts and our hearts with each passing day and share a hope that all is well. Good luck and keep your head up man. Everything will be alright.
September 10, 2014 7:48 p.m.
MindAblaze says... #8
It's hard, emotionally and physically draining work. Make sure you make time for your own self-care. Kudos.
September 10, 2014 8:19 p.m.
My town is notorious for Heroin use, and I've helped a few very close friends struggle through their addiction. It's nowhere near the same what you're doing, but I just wanted to express how your dialogue resonated with me. You're very adamant and strong, and I applaud what you're doing.
September 10, 2014 8:35 p.m.
Best of luck, friend. Thanks for filling us in. Keep strong, and if you ever can't, know we've got your back.
September 10, 2014 9:32 p.m.
Seriously good job man, I applaud you. Best of luck, just have a positive attitude and you'll be fine
September 10, 2014 10:09 p.m.
Just don't end up like me.
I'm a Tapped Out addict.
September 10, 2014 10:23 p.m.
Good luck on your journey. As stated previously, you have a pretty awesome community in the background waiting to back you up should you need us.
September 10, 2014 11:22 p.m.
aeonstoremyliver says... #18
Outstanding. As a recovered addict and social worker, it's a journey filled with a learning curve.
September 11, 2014 12:47 a.m.
sonicizslow says... #20
Proud of you.
Hope there will be more updates of your experiences.
ChiefBell says... #2
Apologies for typos. Needless to say I'm very tired and not typing this in the best of conditions.
September 10, 2014 7:13 p.m.