Bad behavior against me in EDH
General forum
Posted on Feb. 7, 2022, 2:56 a.m. by DonaldFuck
Ok, let's start by saying that i am not the greatest player in the world. I play since 2014-2015, started with standard and modern and I am still mediocre. The last 2 years i play EDH with three other guys at a coffee shop since our LGS doesn't support MTG anymore, only Yugioh. Also, with the covid thing still around, there are no gatherings to the LGS even for casual duels.
One of the guys in my playgroup is a little weird. He is almost always disrespectful and he always complains about threat assessments. He is almost exclusively mean against me, always comments about how bad my play is, how bad my deck is or my targets. If i cast a tutor and i take more than 20 seconds to pick a card he starts complaining again to hurry up and that he always knows what card to pick before he cast the tutor. If i attack him he starts saying "No don't attack me, he has the upper hand. Attack him or i will punish you next turn"
I have come to a place where i do not want to cast my spells because i know the negativity that follows them. I just stare at the playmat wishing i weren't there.
I remember a time when i had a Greater Good in my Omnath, Locus of Rage but i didn't want to sacrifice him because i had something else in mind to do for protection in a later turn and he was like "Why pass? Just do this" he said and grabbed my cards and started sacrificing my stuff, drew my cards with hatred and played my turn for me saying how bad of a player i was, with the other guys laughing. It was humiliating. Even if he was right, what gives him the right to be an ass? I have never been that bad to a person before like that.
I don't really know what to do, because there are no other people in my area and city to play with.
RNR_Gaming says... #3
Sometimes it's better to be alone than be around people that make you feel like garbage. You could likely find another group online, at school, heck even at a church or at work.
February 7, 2022 4:07 a.m.
RNR_Gaming says... #4
Theres also a tactful way of giving players advice and he has no right to touch your property without permission.
February 7, 2022 4:08 a.m.
Hey, firstly that's awful and that player is incredibly toxic. The others in your group allowing this behavior uncontested is also super problematic, and I would say your best bet is to quit the group.
I second RNR's advice and say that it's better to not have anyone to play with than to be belittled and disrespected like that, and that it's better to seek alternative playgroups. I would highly recommend checking out some MTG groups/pages on social media like facebook to see if there's any other players in your general vicinity (assuming you don't want to try to get something done virtually).
Nobody should be treated that way in a game, and I am sorry that's been your experience.
February 7, 2022 9:43 a.m.
DonaldFuck says... #6
Thank you very much guys for your support. I really do love this game and I don't wanna quit it because of a rude player while the other guys keep on laughing at his bullying.
I plan to gradually stop going to the sessions and then stop going completely. I see what I do later. Even if I talk to this guy and say he understands and wants to change... he won't change. We all know people rarely change.
February 7, 2022 10:31 a.m.
linkman777 says... #7
Or just man/woman up and tell him to shut his/her mouth while you play your turn however you please? Running from conflict and relying on other people to solve your problems does nothing. There are jerks in the world, if you let them ruin your fun you'll never have any. The guys claiming theft and assault are so dramatic its silly. The guy who touched your stuff is a jerk. He is a jerk everytime. Use that against them. You'll be ready the next time he gets sassy with a comment of your own, which will stun him. You'll feel good that you didn't run and more confident in defending yourself next time, which is a way better outcome than running away and crying about assault like a cringe-lord.
February 7, 2022 1:19 p.m.
Last_Laugh says... #8
I'm a with the above poster. Call out his bs or better yet, give him a taste of his own medicine with the impatience and retaliation threats and throw out an 'ok, are we both ready to stop this nonsense... it's annoying isn't it?' after a few games of doing the same to him. Sorry to hear that you don't have many options... I can go to my LGS and get in a game any day of the week and there's usually multiple pods of 3-4 players to choose from.
February 7, 2022 3:23 p.m.
Grubbernaut says... #9
Find a group on Spelltable. I'm playing to have fun, not get complained at.
As a side note - it is fundamentally bizarre that any shop could fuel YGO play but not MtG. Which state/area is it in?
February 7, 2022 5:02 p.m.
RNR_Gaming says... #10
Grubbernaut - the margins on mtg products is garbage between all the online market places, Arena and just having trash margins it doesn't surprise me at all. Additionally, you have to jump through a ton of hoops to get premium status and what they give you in promos doesn't even recoup the cost of what owners put in. Couple that with how easy it is to lose wpn status and I can definitely see why store owners would rather push pokemon/yugioh and Gamers workshop products
February 7, 2022 6:33 p.m.
DonaldFuck says... #11
Grubbernaut I live in Europe not America and specifically in Greece. Yu-Gi-Oh is super popular in my town, but magic not that match. I don't wanna switch to Yu-Gi-Oh as I don't like the play style that much anymore. (I used to play it before I started MTG)
The irony is that the Yu-Gi-Oh community here is more chilled and supportive..
February 8, 2022 1:23 a.m.
Omniscience_is_life says... #12
This is the type of thing that makes me sad...
I'd definitely avoid any conflict with this person, they don't sound like the sort to take retaliation well. I'd suggest talking to the other (hopefully more understanding) member of the group in private and asking for some help dealing with the issue. Having allies in what will probably be a hard discussion--asking a person to be less of a bully is never easy--will be a huge help.
Shout out to Greece btw! Do you live near Θεσσαλονίκη?
February 8, 2022 2:50 a.m.
I know the problem you are stating since this happened to me the exact same way. That jerk in my group sapped the fun out of me so much with his toxic personality that I stopped wanting to play anymore.
I quit that group. I conceded the game I was playing at the time and just told the table (and especially the one responsible) exactly what I felt. That I don´t have fun anymore with that atmosphere around and that my time is way to precious to be told over hours what an idiot I am.
Some told me afterwards that they liked what I did there and some sent me messages that I´m just a pussy to not endure that. But ya know what? I don´t care. Yes it sucks that I don´t have a playgroup anymore but it´s no use spending time on something you don´t enjoy.
February 8, 2022 3:11 a.m.
DonaldFuck says... #14
Omniscience_is_life I am from Larisa actually. Where are you from?
February 8, 2022 7:46 a.m.
It seems like people here kinda nailed it, but to the OP, I guess just always keep in mind that the way that this person interacts with you has nothing to do with what you are doing. Some people just think that their fun is everyone's fun, and the fact that others support their behavior is really rough, so I can understand your want to step away, but just remember that that bully is not the world and that group is not the game. If that person is getting that worked up, especially in a casual format, then they will probably always do it unless you respond in some way. Whether that response is to confront them or to take a break, play around with your decks, and try to find a new play group, unfortunately it will be up to you to do something.
If it was me, I'd try to talk to them 1 on 1 and just say that you aren't having fun. Some people don't realize what they are doing in the moment and just need a little check to play nice. But, if that doesn't help, then it maybe a lost cause.
Mostly I just wanted to say that you should always keep your chin up. That group wants you there just as much as you want to be there, and it's hard that you are in this situation, but you always have the answer with you. No matter what you do about it, if you do something, you are in control of how much fun you have at the table. Sometimes it's good to say something, sometimes it's good to step away, but never let anyone ruin anything for you. Because it's a game, it's a fun game, and really there are no bad players, just players who get called bad by people who forget the fun part.
February 8, 2022 8:20 a.m.
Omniscience_is_life says... #16
DonaldFuck ah, nice! I'm not from Greece, just have family there ;)
February 8, 2022 1:11 p.m.
Don't let such a trash person let you feel like trash. I wouldn't be afraid to give some talk back if I were inside of the game store as there'd be a bunch of people around in case they flip out.
February 9, 2022 12:43 p.m.
Sometimes putting the smackdown on the jabroni is the right answer... Or sometimes that person has a social disorder & complete lack of self awareness, then you feel awful about unloading on them. It is the nature of social disorders (if this guy has one). Depends on your own capabilities as well. Maybe just bring a buddy to the table sometime & prep them to have your back, you can be surprised how much that alters the situation if you have a buddy prepped to call out BS. You can always ask other players that seem to get along with you if they have any different playgroups. I pretty much get my Wizard poker games on at my place or a few of my pals places these days so I guess I am lucky to have a few playgroups with emotionally mature people.
TypicalTimmy says... #2
DonaldFuck, see my comments in this thread. It's basically the same thing this user is asking - aggressive players and a negative experience.
The difference here is yours may constitute as assault, since he grabbed your physical belongings out of your hand. The fact he also took your property might constitute as theft. Doesn't matter if you got it back, it matters that he took it.
If you are within the confines of an LGS, I'd say immediately report this behavior to the store manager and / or owner. Otherwise, and definitely regardless, find a new group.
Unfortunately, if there legitimately isn't anyone else to play with, and this is the type of experience you must endure when you play, you may want to find a new hobby. As painful as that is to hear, especially on a site dedicated solely to this hobby, the reality of the matter is that you shouldn't be experiencing assault and theft when trying to hold entertainment in your life. If you have to choose between sadness and anxiety, or a new hobby, pick a new hobby.
You can always play online, or pick up the game later and focus on a quiet collection.
I'm sorry that happened to you. <3
February 7, 2022 3:32 a.m.