How to temporarily ‘quit’ Magic
General forum
Posted on Aug. 22, 2019, 9:34 p.m. by Nasser_inside1
Today, as a teen, I got a very harsh scolding from my mom saying that I am addicted to Magic, I don’t know what to do, I can’t keep on playing since she blames magic for something, should I temporarily ‘stop’ playing or should I see retry still since I can’t go to the LGS anymore, the LGS owner agreed on saving me a Mystic Intellect for next week. That puts even more pressure. What should I do?
I presume that "something" your mother is blaming you for is slipping grades? I figure it is either that or claiming Magic is turning you to the devil, but, since it's no longer 1995, I'll stick with my first guess.
Magic is a fun game, but it's important to remember that it's just a game. If you find that it is interfering with your real-world obligations, or if someone else tells you that it is interfering with your real world obligations (sometimes a third party has better perspective on that kind of issue), it's probably time to step back and take a break.
August 22, 2019 9:51 p.m.
ToolmasterOfBrainerd says... #4
Oof. I don't know what kind of family you're from or how bad the situation is, but is a compromise viable? A compromise is usually a good way to make both parties happy. For example, if she blames magic for getting bad grades in school because you don't finish your homework (one possible example of many), then an example compromise is that you will not go to the game shop unless you have finished your homework first. That way you still get to play magic, and you get your homework done.
August 22, 2019 9:53 p.m.
Nasser_inside1 says... #5
She doesn’t even like me testing a deck, I mean, look. I made a certain time at day where I will think of a deck to make, and playtest it, but the moment I do, she would call me an addict.
August 22, 2019 9:54 p.m.
Nasser_inside1 says... #6
Ps: I have amazing grades, especially in English because of Magic’s card names
August 22, 2019 9:55 p.m.
ToolmasterOfBrainerd says... #7
If you do have to put it away for a bit, my advice would be to withdraw completely. Log out of the tappedout app on your phone so you don't get notifications. Put your decks in your closet or under your bed or somewhere else where you won't see them or touch them. Don't read articles or look at decklists or open packs from Target. If you try to keep magic a part of your life but can't play, it becomes painful. Getting it out of your life for a bit is bad for the first week, but better after that.
Quitting is a cruel thing to do. If you're anything like me, magic occupies an important part of your life. It's what you think about. It's the problem or puzzle that you like to solve. Those thoughts and that urge to overcome challenges needs to be satiated by something. You might literally go insane if you do not have something to obsess over. At the very least, it's really bad for mental health. The easiest way to quit magic is to pick a video game to get addicted to instead, but that completely defeats the purpose of what your mom wants. If you like learning, then you might be able to obsess over a school subject instead of magic, but it's hard to do. I'm a math major, so if you want to get into mathematics, hit me up. I can promise that math is as intellectually stimulating and rewarding as magic if you study the correct topics. Computer science is another popular option, but I'm not as into it.
TLDR: If you need to quit magic, then you need to replace magic with something else. I recommend math.
August 22, 2019 10:09 p.m.
Nasser_inside1 says... #8
Mathematics, I’m interested, but I have no idea how I’m going to learn from you
August 22, 2019 10:19 p.m.
Nasser_inside1 says... #9
ToolmasterOfBrainerd how can I exactly learn from you? Direct messages from the website itself?
August 23, 2019 12:43 a.m.
ToolmasterOfBrainerd says... #10
No, more likely is I'd try to point you in the right direction. Teaching directly would be really hard. But I can try to recommend topics to study and sources for those topics. And I can try to answer questions along the way if you get stuck and cannot find an answer anywhere else.
August 23, 2019 12:50 a.m.
If you're attempting to trick someone into thinking that you're not addicted to something then it sounds kind of like you're addicted to it.
The best solution here is honest dialogue with the involved parties. And look, I get it - magic can be very distracting. But at the end of the day you might find that the concerns that your mother is airing are very valid. And bad habits are very hard to break.
I'm not sure what your personal life is like, however striking a balance between hobbies is important. I'm not going to tell you to go out and join a bunch of sports teams, but having something physical that you can do to offset magic is very important (and can actually help with magic - there's a reason that pro gamers have exercise regimes). And there are lots of physical hobbies that you can do that aren't your typical "go team sports" kind of hobbies. For example, I have been doing rock climbing for the last 6 years and wished I had gotten into it during high school.
August 23, 2019 2:25 a.m.
hmm teenager with good grades and a mother telling you are addicted, sounds like she maybe wanting you to get into dating?(though with your posts, I'm going to guess maybe early teenager, 12-15ish) But yeah maybe just go cold turkey, then if your grades were to somehow get worse you'll have not being able to play mtg as a reason for not being able to concentrate on studies. I also suggest keeping your cards hidden away and throwing small mentions frequently about how mtg cards of the past being worth a lot of money (this is to try to keep your mother from throwing them away while you're at school)
August 23, 2019 3:26 a.m.
There is a (likely unintentional) suggestion in Demarge’s post of “purposefully let your grades slip to try and manipulate your mother.” If that is the advise you read, you should forget it - parents can see through those kind of games fairly easily.
Assuming it is not your grades, there is probably some other reason your mother is concerned, beyond “I think you are addicted.”
Sit down and have a talk with her regarding her concerns. I would be sure to mention the following:
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Magic is an extraordinarily complex game, requiring significant threat analysis and resource management. This kind of gameplay promotes critical thinking and logic, as those are necessary skills to be successful at the game.
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Magic is an inherently social game, which means it is a good way to meet new friends and interact with old ones.
Then leave it at that - social and cognitive development are two points that play well with parents, and are most likely to advance your goals. You don’t want your strongest arguments to be lost among weaker ones.
Speaking to Magic’s strengths is still a passive play, however, and you might want to consider taking a more proactive approach to your hobby. Ask your mother if it would be okay for you to start a Magic club at your high school. Beyond being a way to enjoy your hobby, being the founding member of a club is a pretty solid way to build a resume for college applications. You’ll want to go to your mother with an inkling of a plan, so it is clear that you have given this some thought and are serious about committing the time necessary to running a club. An example plan might look like:
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Locate a teacher-sponsor for the club. Look for a younger, somewhat nerdy, but still popular, teacher, since that will be your best bet.
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Reach out to your friends or others you know who play to get more members of your club.
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Draft the bylaws of your club, in coordination with the teacher-sponsor.
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Reach out to your LGS to see if they will sponsor the club. It wouldn’t have to be a large sponsorship, but they might be willing to contribute a pack a week/month for whoever has the highest win rate for that week/month.
That should at least get you started. You’ll have to keep doing work for the club, such as outreach, advertising, and member retention. Though it will take work, if will provide a place to play the game, but a place to play with a defined time. That level of structure should appeal to your mother, making her more agreeable to this proposal.
August 23, 2019 8:32 a.m.
I'm going to say something that goes against the grain here, and frankly is probably a little reckless - sometimes parents don't understand at all or care for reasoning.
When I was a teenager, my issue was gaming and the person hounding me about it was my dad. I had excellent grades, I had a job, I had a social life, I had a girlfriend and if I spent an hour playing games he'd call me an addict. My solution? Ignore him and do what I wanted.
I wasn't hiding it, but I didn't rub his face in it either. It was something we never could agree on, no matter how many talks we had. His definition of "addiction" was essentially "having a hobby that isn't actively furthering your future".
August 23, 2019 9:15 a.m.
PepsiAddicted says... #15
dont listen to muggles, they just dont understand
August 23, 2019 3:27 p.m.
Your mother has a reason. Talk with her and find out "what" the issue is. Don't go behind her back or try to trick her as this will result in a far worse situation for you.
There could be any number of reasons she is having an issue with it; for example she could care about your grades and you think they are fine but you both don't see "fine" as the same thing. It could be the time you spend on the game and are ignoring other things such as other people, chores, or even other hobbies.
Cost could be the final issue and you having a job may fix that problem.
At the end of the day your mom loves you and is making decisions that she views are for your good. You don't have to like it (I mean as a kid what kid likes to eat there pea's but we do). My point is that your mom has a reason and you need to listen even if you don't agree with it. Don't dig your feet in and argue; this isn't a battle you will win.
August 23, 2019 4:02 p.m.
Nasser_inside1 says... #17
Nemesis this definition you said was exactly my moms point, Caerwyn great idea! I will start working on it.
jconeil1988 says... #2
Do you have a job? If the answer is no, get one. when she complains you are addicted or spending too much, remind her you've earned the money that is being spent. Remind here that there is much worse you could e addicted too. Probably better off just putting them away for a month or two, ease her mind, and don't back talk her as my first two suggestions suggest.
August 22, 2019 9:48 p.m.