The Road so far....

Lore forum

Posted on Oct. 7, 2013, 4:08 a.m. by bootsncatsn

So I just started playing magic during Gatecrash and I realize now that theres an actual storyline to each block.

Could someone briefly summarize the events that led to RTR and what happened at the conclusion of Maze's end?

And what exactly is the storyline for Theros?

Where did you find this information in the first place? Are there events that happen or a website that Wizard explains whats happening?

jonhydude says... #2

Well, in the latest Ravinca block, Niv-mizzet, founder of the Izzet, found a maze in Ravnica. (I think it was made in guildpact in the old Ravnica block) and he pretty much just says hey guys, race ya all to this place through a specific route to get some awesome powers!

Theros - Elspeth planeswalks to Theros and wants to lay low but she kills a hydra and Heliod make her his champion. (Elspeth, Sun's Champion ) She then has to go and take down Xenagos, The Reveler .

The storyline can actually be seen through the flavour text in most cards.

(Please don't quote me on any of this stuff, it just what I have heard from other players, flavour text and research on google.

October 7, 2013 5:07 a.m.

bluemax87 says... #3

www.wizards.com/magic

October 7, 2013 6:52 a.m.

sylvannos says... #4

Ravnica (the plane).

Essentially, Ravnica was a place dominated by war and isolated from the rest of the Multiverse. In order to bring about peace, 10 factions created a powerful enchantment known as the "Guildpact." The Guildpact would undo any actions taken by one of the 10 factions should they infringe on one of the others. For example, if a member of Orzhov killed a member of Simic, and that murder would tip the balance of power to Orzhov, the Guildpact would revive the victim to prevent any guild's power spirialing out of control. Those 10 factions would go on to become the 10 guilds of Ravnica.

At the end of Dissension, Grand Arbiter Augustin IV reveals the Dimir to the rest of Ravnica. Part of the Guildpact was to have a secret guild to enforce some of its laws. By exposing the Dimir, Grand Arbiter Augustin IV destroyed the Guildpact. This was done on purpose so he could assert the Azorius as the dominant force on Ravnica. Teysa, Orzhov Scion thwarts his coup and helps restore order to the city. Isperia, Supreme Judge replaces Grand Arbiter Augustin IV after he is killed trying to take over.

With the Guildpact gone, Ravnica is no longer shielded from outside visitors and attracts the attention of various planeswalkers, namely Jace Beleren . However, conflict has started all over the plane because there's magical law to create order on the plane. The Boros find themselves overwhelmed trying to deal with crime, while the Azorius attempt to enforce de facto laws.

Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius discovers the Implicit Maze. Each guild sends its champion to race through the maze in a quest for power. Jace Beleren ventures into the maze, as well, and ends up uniting the minds of each of the Maze Runners. In doing so, Jace, Architect of Thought becomes the new Guildpact and restores the enchantment to the plane.

October 7, 2013 8:04 a.m.

GoldGhost012 says... #5

Just to nitpick sylvannos, Grand Arbiter Augustin IV wasn't the one that exposed the Dimir. Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran arrested Szadek, Lord of Secrets , the Dimir guildmaster, exposing the Dimir to the public, destroying the Guildpact. Augustin IV then proceeded to kill Szadek, enslave his ghost, try to take over Ravnica, etc.

October 7, 2013 10:23 a.m.

sylvannos says... #6

@GoldGhost012: I'm sure I got some other stuff wrong, too lol. Didn't know Agrus Kos, Wojek Veteran was the one who destroyed the Guildpact.

October 7, 2013 6:15 p.m.

bootsncatsn says... #7

so Jace gos god-mode at Maze's end.

October 7, 2013 7:18 p.m.

GoldGhost012 says... #8

No. Jace does not gain any new powers at the end of Dragon's Maze except to state the guild's boundaries.

For example, Niv-Mizzet, Dracogenius wanted the Izzet League to declare war on the Selesnya Conclave. Jace said he couldn't do that, and since Jace's word concerning the guilds is law, the Izzet couldn't fight the Conclave. However, if Jace had let Niv-Mizzet declare war, the the Izzet and the Conclave would have been able to fight.

October 7, 2013 9:59 p.m.

Devonin says... #9

Before the creation of Planeswalkers as cards, each block had its own storyline, but was generally completely self-contained, so it was a lot easier to figure out what was going on. Once PWs became cards and needed reprinting in alternate forms, so the same cast of characters kept cropping up on otherwise totally different worlds, it started becoming more and more like a soap opera.

October 8, 2013 3:46 p.m.

CW says... #10

I don't think jace has THAT much power, The izzet can just say, "We don't like selesnya were gonna zap their shit up." and if jace tries to say nupe, they'll just be all,

ZAP MUTHAFUCKA!

October 8, 2013 4:07 p.m.

raithe000 says... #11

@Devonin

That's not really true. A significant portion of the blocks with actual storylines are part of the Weatherlight Saga, a story centered on the pre-mending extraplanar journey of the crew of the Weatherlight, and at least two blocks are based around the results of the Weatherlight Saga.

Additionally, we aren't following the same cast of characters each set. Elspeth, the face of this block, hasn't been in a block since Scars of Mirrodin. Jace, the face of the last set, hadn't been in a block since Zendikar. and not every planeswalker who shows up is crucial to the plot (remind me how Vraska was part of RTR's plot again).

October 8, 2013 4:44 p.m.

Dallie says... #12

@CW: I lol'ed.

October 8, 2013 5 p.m.

KrazyCaley says... #13

In the beginning, the multiverse was without form, and void. There were a bunch of planes, and only a few people, Planeswalkers, who had the power to traverse between them. Also, there was lots of magic everywhere. There were Craw Wurms running around and things were crazy. Everyone was banding. Apparently we were just hanging out in Dominaria, which is the Main Storyline Plane(tm). Things were pretty chill. But then we went to Rabiah and we were like "this is all just ripped off directly from One Thousand and One Nights."

But then, BAM. Urza and Mishra. Urza is this pretty smart guy, right? And Mishra is his brother. They love learning, exploring ancient caves together, and making things! But then they explore this one cave and find a THING OF ULTIMATE POWER which, long story short, eventually leads them to war on each other. Mishra is slightly more of a jerk than Urza, and so is the "bad guy." It turns out that this war is pretty bad for Dominaria once it ends in an "everyone's basically dead" kind of stalemate. So bad that it leads to an ICE AGE. But we're not there yet. First - rewind. Dominaria is ALSO filled with legendary heroes. People like Jedit Ojanen and Hazezon Tamar make war on each other for reasons that are not entirely clear. What is clear is that they are badass and in no way underpowered. One of them, Nicol Bolas, rules a continent on Dominaria after having defeated weird titantic pre-universe proto-beings and is engaged in some kind of scheming which will be totally unclear until later.

Anyway, back to the Urza and Mishra thing. After their war, Dominaria enters a DARK AGE. Various local mages and lords squabble with each other. Things are pretty grim. There are also non-human FALLEN EMPIRES of Orcs and Goblins and Dwarves (yes, dwarves) struggling to come to terms with the ruin of the recent war. Super grim.

But hey, look over here, at this NEW PLANE THAT ISN'T DOMINARIA! Ulgrotha is a plane of dark, terrible secrets, and untold power. It's a lot like Shandalar, actually, because of all the untold power and the fact that it gets sealed away from the multiverse. But that's from a video game. Anyway, terrible power. Some pretty cool planeswalkers sacrifice everything, Batman style, to protect it and its squabbling, ungrateful native inhabitants from nosy outsiders and cruel wizard vampire insiders. It would be pretty badass if all the cards weren't basically terrible.

Sadly, all the cards ARE basically terrible, so we go back to Dominaria. Things are cold there. Ice age time. The lands are covered in SNOW. Turns out that the Urza v. Mishra thing was so bad, climate change happened. DRAMATIC ENVIRONMENTAL COMMENTARY THAT APPLIES TO THE REAL WORLD. Basically technology and civilization has regressed dramatically. Warlord/tribal magic kinda stuff instead of organized Tolarian Academies, and what not. This planeswalker named Freyalise comes along and tries to warm things up, but has to deal with this necromancer named Lim-Dul, who basically is an evil cultist doing evil things. It all works out pretty well, though.

Cut to Jamuraa, which is basically like Africa. Everyone is basically cool except for Official Bad Guy Kaervek, who has this incredible sage/diplomat Mangara held prisoner, kind of like a recent Dr. McNinja story arc, and people are trying to free Mangara. This guy named Teferi works behind the scenes to keep the good guys together (partially succeeding) while simultaneously trying to undo a little oops of his own that MAY or MAY NOT threaten all of existence, which has to do with phasing, which ironically is a little oops of Wizards! Also, lots of flanking. Eventually Mangara is freed and things start looking up.

But no time to finish up that storyline, because SCREAMING THROUGH THE SKY COMES THE WEATHERLIGHT. The Weatherlight is this ship which is basically an airship straight out of a late-1990s JRPG. It and its noble crew of assorted heroes, antiheroes, and whatever Squee is, roam the multiverse doing good guy things, mostly. It turns out Urza(!) is still around, but fears that Dominaria will soon be invaded by a mysterious people known as the Phyrexians, and lead by a heartless bastard who hates magic and loves machines, named Yawgmoth. So the Weatherlight jaunts around the multiverse looking for pieces of the Legacy Weapon, Saturday Morning Adventure Cartoon style. Phyrexians and various bad guys try to stop them. Lols occur. Also slivers. Preparations for the Phyrexian invasion go on on both sides across various planes, including Mercadia, which is kind of froofy, and Rath, which is kind of metal.

But then, the Phyrexians arrive. They are kind of creepy in that they assimilate people using this weird biotechnological method, like the Borg, but less robot-y and more Yuuzhan-Vong-y. Urza gets kind of cold-hearted and vicious because he stares into the abyss for too long, and has to be reminded of the True Power of Friendship. The Weatherlight assembles all the pieces of the superweapon and Yawgmoth + the Phyrexians are defeated. BUT AT WHAT COST.

Anyway, 100 years later, on the continent Otaria on Dominaria, it's kind of like Tatooine in Star Wars. There's this gladiator battle arena that everyone loves. This dude Kamahl and his sister Jeska are hanging out and questing after the legendary Mirari, which is an artifact of ULTIMATE POWER that most definitely corrupts absolutely. There's also this guy Laquatus, a merfolk, who is a true smooth operator and talks nice while plunging the dagger in your back. He also wants the Mirari. Actually, everyone kind of wants the Mirari. But this guy named Chainer gets to it first. I know, "Chainer" sounds bad, and HE TOTALLY IS. He's a mono-black card, and kind of insane. But then Kahaml gets the mirari. Unfortunately it totally turns him into Frodo in the later stages of Lord of the Rings, and he injures his sister Jeska. She gets captured by Chainer and his totally lunatic assistant Braids. This has....unfortunate consequences.

Jeska is morphed into Phage, who is super evil and has death powers. No, really, don't touch her. She enters the ARENA and kills this woman named Nivea. Her husband Ixidor doesn't take it well. In fact he tries to build a perfect replica of her, but that replica, Akroma, goes rogue. Phage's death powers nearly get out of hand and threaten the whole plane. Kamahl says enough is enough and kills Phage, Akroma, and this other poor woman who just happened to be standing nearby with one sword swing. Unfortunately, this accidentally merges them all into one super being named Karona who is basically a god and nearly destroys everything (kind of a recurring theme). Fortunately, Kamahl is able to deal with it and rescues Jeska from the Karona-entity.

At this point, Karn shows up. Karn is an old buddy of Urza's, and hung out with the Weatherlight crew. In fact, it turned out he WAS A PIECE OF THAT COOL SUPERWEAPON ALL ALONG, but we're past that part now. He decides that Jeska, who it turns out is a planeswalker, needs training and respite from the whole "I AM A GOD" thing so that she doesn't hurt others/herself.

So he takes her to Mirrodin, which is a plane he created himself. It has suns of all the colors of magic except green. Everything there is an artifact. It's pretty cool. Karn and Jeska go off to do her training. Karn leaves Mirrodin in charge of his #2, the Warden. He gives him the Mirari (which Karn ended up with) to help out with this job. This turns out to be a bad idea.

Later on on Mirrodin there's this elf named Glissa. SOMEONE KILLED HER FAMILY and she turns into Mirrodin Batman. She treks across the plane looking for who dunnit with the help of Bosh, a pretty nice golem who helps maintain things. Turns out it was the work of this evil superpowered mechano-entity named Memnarch who is now Mirrodin's tyrannical overlord. Spoiler alert - Memnarch is that Warden guy, gone mad with power and having fused himself with the Mirari.

Eventually Glissa tracks down the Helm of Kaldra , Shield of Kaldra , and Sword of Kaldra , immensely powerful artifacts that can help her defeat Memnarch. She confronts him, but it turns out that was his plan all along, because she has a nascent planeswalker spark that he wants. So he shows up to the duel with 4x Steal Artifact in his deck and takes possession of the Kaldra avatar. Things look bleak, but then Glissa explodes in green rage and creates the final Green sun of Mirrodin, winning the game. Karn shows up and goes, "good job, you want to guard this plane for me and hold onto this Mirari since you're so cool?" She says yes. This also does not go well, but we'll get back to that later.

Kamigawa. New Plane. New planes happen a lot, get used to it. Kamigawa is Japan. The guy who runs things there is named Konda. He's basically cool, honorable, all that good stuff. However, Konda, proving that white is not always good, steals the child of the gods, because you know, honor, glory, all that good stuff. This basically causes the ENTIRE SPIRIT WORLD to revolt against the physical world in what is known as the Kami war. It doesn't go well for anyone. Fortunately Konda's daughter and some accomodating spirits broker a truce and it all works out. This one guy, Tetsuo, who has a really cool sword and was one of the unclear warrior types back in Legends, turns out to be from Kamigawa, but his story is that he got displaced and went to Madara (where Nicol Bolas is in charge) and overthrew him there. Bolas continues scheming, however. Always scheming, that one.

NEW PLANE TIME AGAIN. Ravnica. Ravnica is a plane that is basically a huge city. There are all these guilds there that run various aspects of daily life. 10 guilds, in fact, one for each two-color combination in Magic. They are at odds with each other, and like Bolas, they are always scheming, except for the Gruul, who don't have the cognitive capacity to scheme. That's why a thing called the Guildpact exists, which is basically a magical binding that makes them not be assholes. Unfortunately it's wearing off and they're being assholes again. But a few sensible folk, like Teysa, come up with an actual NON-MAGICAL solution to keep peace, because the guildpact was INSIDE THEM ALL ALONG awwwww.

You know what we haven't talked about in a while? Dominaria. Things were pretty messed up there, huh? Yep. So messed up, in fact, that all the magic and devastation and Teferi phasing things and Urza and Phyrexians and WHOA MY HEAD HURTS is causing a built-up magical 'splosion which will end the multiverse forever Time travel and alternate realities are involved somehow. Lands are once against covered, very briefly, in SNOW. For the whole pending doom to be fixed, Teferi and his buddy Jhoira will have to do The Mending, which will reduce the power and knowledge of planeswalkers everywhere but fix the apocalypse. They do so. Nicol Bolas is unhappy because he was totally beating all the other planeswalkers in "power and knowledge" and is pissed that now planeswalkers are being rebalanced and he'll only be TIED for first in the leaderboards. He continues scheming.

NEW PLANE TIME. Lorwyn. Lorwyn has a weird day/night cycle where different versions of everyone get switched to every few hundred years. It's kind of confusing, especially for the different races of beings that inhabit Lorwyn. "Tribes," one might call them, if one were cheating by looking at the actual card mechanics of Lorwyn. One should not do that though. One will get a proper smackdown if One does. Eventually, some heroes of the plane decide that the whole day/night thing is way the hell too confusing and just merge the day/night aspects. We have no idea how this worked out though.

Also in Lorwyn, "normal-power" Planeswalkers start walking around for the first time after the mending. There's Ajani, who is a lion whose brother died, Jace, who is a mind mage from Ravnica and generally way too overpowered and expensive, Liliana, who made a bad deal with some demons and is power hungry, Garruk, WHO SMASHES THINGS RARR, and Chandra, who likes to burn.

NEW PLANE TIME AGAAAAAIIIN. Alara. Alara used to be a pretty normal plane, like any other. Then it got split into five somehow. The five shards are isolated from each other and each only have three colors of magic, one color and its two ally colors. Each one has weird values, and there are some Planeswalkers based off of the shards too. Elspeth had a bad childhood and now wants to live forever in the Bant-colored shard, which is called "Bant," oddly enough. Tezzeret, from Esper, likes knowledge. Sarkhan Vol, from Jund, likes dragons. Like, no, he REALLY likes Dragons. Ajani, who we already know, turns out that he IS from Naya. Grixis doesn't have a Planeswalker. OR DOES IT?

Some weird force is causing the SHARDS OF ALARA (oh snap title drop) to unify again. The shards are fighting each other. Also, the reunification is causing this massive ball of energy called the Maelstrom to form at the center.

GUESS WHAT? Grixis totally had a Planeswalker, and it was NICOL BOLAS WHO IS BEHIND THE WHOLE THING WHOOOOOOOOOOOA. His plan in reunifying the planes is to basically absorb the massive energy ball caused by the whole cataclysm, Sephiroth-style. and thus reclaim his rightful place at the top of the Planeswalker leaderboards. Ajani defeats Bolas by casting Clone on him, and since this was before the legend rule change, that basically was good to defeat Bolas. Fortunately for Bolas, all matches against him have to be best 1,000,000 out of 1,999,999, and he's allowed to sideboard in infinite cards, so Bolas retires and starts scheming (again). He manages to recruit Tezzeret to work for him with promises of knowledge, and Sarkhan Vol to work for him because you guys, Sarkhan Vol REALLY likes dragons and Bolas is a dragon.

New plane. Again. God. ZENDIKAR. Zendikar is a turbulent world where the mana causes earthquakes and hurricanes and landwaves and all sorts of terrifying crap. Bolas, for some reason, manipulates Chandra and Jace and Sarkhan Vol and another super-old vampire planeswalker named Sorin Markov and his elvish pal Nissa Revane to unleash THE ELDRAZI, who are imprisoned in Zendikar. The Eldrazi are basically Lovecraftian elder gods. Gideon Jura , another planeswalker, runs off to try and find a solution to this problem. Man, these goddamn PLANESWALKERS everywhere now.

BUT WAIT GUESS WHAT NEW PLANE. Actually, not a new plane. Old plane. Mirrodin. Glissa hasn't been managing things well and people don't like her. Also the Phyrexians showed up again and they were like "whoa, technology is here. WE LIKE TECHNOLOGY." So the Phyrexians invade. They assimilate Glissa and basically the whole plane. They even get to Karn. Fortunately an old pal of Karn's and Teferi's named Venser teams up with Elspeth and local boy Koth to free Karn, who is now TOTALLY PISSED about the Phyrexians tearing up his whole business. Also, one of the Phyrexians, Urabrask, might be secretly rebellious? Unfinished business to the max.

GUESS WHAT NEW PLANE. Innistrad. It's where Sorin Markov is from. Vampires and werewolves and ghosts and all sorts of horror movie crap. The innocent humans used to have Avacyn, this awesome angel, to protect them, but she's gone and the vampires basically have free run of the place. Liliana and Garruk are having a spat because green and black are enemy colors, and they're chasing each other around the plane, the sexual tension running super high. Eventually the good guys, with the help of Liliana, of all people, free Avacyn (though also her super nemesis, Griselbrand), and the dark horror stuff gets defeated. BUT AT WHAT COST. Not much, really, I guess. The werewolves even get to become noble civilized wolf-peoples.

WHOA NEW PLANE. Except really, an old plane, AGAIN. Ravnica. The guilds are being assholes to each other AGAIN. Christ. They really cannot keep their business together. Didn't they realize that the guildpact was inside them all along? I guess not. Anyway, their new thing is that there's this secret maze in Ravnica with some kind of ultra power in it, and they all want to find it. Then Jace shows up and casts some overpowered Mind-Sculpting spell (MAN Jace is broken) to magically make them all not be jerks to each other again. I guess the guildpact wasn't inside them all along?

NEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE called Theros. Gods rule Theros, and it's basically like Greece in the same way Kamigawa is like Japan. Elspeth, who had a hard childhood, then thought she had a home in that one Bant-colored shard call Bant (man, that is such a coincidence), then got displaced and is wandering around, shows up to do something unclear, but she'll probably be important to the plot as some kind of reluctant hero.

At some point, Craw Wurm s went extinct probably hunted to death by Alpha Tyrranax s, which were strictly better. But then the Tyrranaxs got hunted to extinction by giant Vulpine Goliath s, which are strictly better.

And that is the TRUE HISTORY OF MAGIC THE GATHERING.

October 9, 2013 7:35 p.m.

CW says... #14

KrazyCaley, and where may I ask is the Storm Crow in your little drabble?

Ya can't have magic the gathering without Storm Crow ya know.

October 9, 2013 7:39 p.m.

KrazyCaley says... #15

Storm Crow was, Storm Crow is, and Storm Crow will be. Of old Storm Crow descended, and winter unended.

October 9, 2013 7:43 p.m.

GoldGhost012 says... #16

Holy shit KrazyCaley, that is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

CW, like Caley said, in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with Storm Crow , and the Word was Storm Crow .

October 9, 2013 7:59 p.m.

Legendinc says... #17

I'm not gonna lie, i saved this page on my phone so i could read KrazyCaley's post whilst i took the browns to the superbowl. it was epic.

October 10, 2013 3:47 p.m.

Legendinc says... #18

also, every time i read a part about conflict, instead of imagining them fighting with magic missiles and swords and stuff, i imagined they looked at each other, pulled out a deck and started playing.

like for example when Urza and Mishra had their war, they went to turns in a best out of 3 game and neither of them talked to each other after time was called

and Kamahl fighting Karona was like a 3 v. 1 game where Kamahl started with 100 life

Glissa vs. Memnarch was an annoying boss battle that lasted 8 episodes, and only ended when Glissa topdecked a Green Sun's Zenith to summon herself into play and destroy Memnarch who had himself on the field.

October 10, 2013 4:11 p.m.

KrazyCaley says... #19

I imagine Bolas working up the mana to cast Cruel Ultimatum, but then Ajani just casts Clone on Bolas and Bolas just flips the table.

October 10, 2013 4:45 p.m.

Blakkhand says... #20

Why isn't this a featured article? Its just that amazing.

October 10, 2013 5:01 p.m.

Legendinc says... #21

I think Ajani would play Spitting Image instead of Clone since Spitting Image is (somewhat) in his colors.

October 11, 2013 3:31 a.m.

Femme_Fatale says... #22

There should be a youtube video of this, Zero Punctuation style.

October 12, 2013 5:41 a.m.

Femme_Fatale says... #23

What's the significance of Vraska the Unseen ? I have a feeling that she is originally from Theros, but I have no idea why she was in RTR.

And what about Tamiyo, the Moon Sage ? Was she not from Kamigawa, and what was she doing in Innistrad? I'm not really interested in lore, but I'm curious as to what exactly these two did. Tamiyo especially.

October 12, 2013 5:48 a.m.

CW says... #24

Tamiyo is like a knowledge voyeur.

She's real into innistrads moon.

But she keeps all this knowledge in her tower on kamigawa

October 12, 2013 8:14 p.m.

raithe000 says... #25

Actually, Vraska is from Ravnica, not Theros (despite how appropriate that would be). There is an old Uncharted Realms story on her from when RTR was new.

October 12, 2013 8:18 p.m.

CW says... #26

Vraska was like jailed by Azorius dudes and led a revolt or something like that, I find this stuff on the wiki

October 12, 2013 8:26 p.m.

GoldGhost012 says... #27

Neither Vraska nor Tamiyo have much of an impact on the storyline, if at all. I think Wizards made Tamiyo to say "Hey, can anyone guess or remember what plane she's from?" I have no idea about Vraska. Maybe she's just there because hey, there's more than one gorgon on Ravnica again!

October 12, 2013 8:38 p.m.

But KrazyCaley, you forgot about what happened even before Urza and Mishra on Dominaria when the Thran were still around flying hover cars and working to create a floading city on Halcyon because they had this whole obsession with ascension (figuratively AND literally)! This is gonna be a bit of a novel.

So this strapping young doctor medical lad named Yawgmoth comes in and basically steals the ill mayor's girl Rebbec and gets everyone sick with a fake disease called Phthisis sisisish. SO, Yawgs finds out about this cave under the mayor's POWERSTONE MAKER that the infected are getting thrown into. Their mayor Gix is angry that people keep throwing infected Thran hobos into his cave, so he rebels. Yawgmoth, being an evil doctor-batman type rallies his healer soldier follower and secretly minions to quell the rebelion and give Gix's group free health care, becoming the Thane of Halcyon, able to kill chickens without getting arrested!

Meanwhile, Yawgs is sending so called infected people down into Gix's caves and replacing them with his allies! He decreases Gix's health care, makes him rebelious, and uses his second attack to get more funding and full military control, all the while pretending to be an ally, emperor palpatine style!

So this planeswalker visits the mayor, wanting to fangirl over his mana rig, if you know what I mean, but Yawgmoth distracts her with shiny objects and blatant curiosity, so she agrees to find him a sweet plane to kick it in.

Gix is still mad about his last spanking and tries to invade, but Yawgmoth has made skynet and controls all the power stone objects in the city. Oh, and the military, but with hover cars, who cares! Gix ends up being Yawgmoth's * for eternity.

So Halcyon gets rebuilt and the city throws a big birthday party for their town hero Yawgy. But all of a sudden, Elves, Cat Folk, Dwarves, velociraptors--ahem-- viashinos, and other humans come and tell everyone about what an asshat Yawgmoth has been to them. Apparently poisoning their nations and dissecting their leaders like frogs didn't sit well. The council of Elders vote 50/50 to strip Yawgmoth of his powers, but he later assassinates all of the elders. He throws the party crashers in the dungeons too, for ruining his birthday and embarrassing him in front of his friends.

Also, he takes the mayor down to show him what he's done to the caves, but the mayor isn't sure what to think.

So the nations start a war with Halcyon that Yawgs doesn't really care about for quite a few chapters.

AND that planeswalker friend gives Yawgmoth a birthday present in the Caves of Koilos - I mean the damned. yeah, that one. They're not the same at all. No spoilers here........

Anyway, Yawgs binds himself with the plane and becomes its' super-kami-uber-god. He basically names the new plane PHYREXIA (ooooooooooooohhhh). So he starts herding people into the new plane and implanting them with Worn Powerstone s from the mana rig. This not only draws out the sickness, it makes them stronger, faster, better than they were before.

Meanwhile, Rebbec is on to Yawgmoth's plot, so he tries to gain her trust by conveniently- ahem- miraculously finding out what was wrong with her husband. He takes out the powerstone shrapnel in his leg, but secretly replaces them with the charged pieces that his planeswalker friend used to make the phyrexia portal.

A couple city-states in the Alliance Against Yawgmoth, or the Thran Alliance fall to Halcyon and Yawgmoth decides it's clobberin' time. With an army of hungry Phyrexians and nervoous Halcyte Guard, he could go all the way! Yawgmoth has this tendency to kill everyone in the battle though, and finds an easy way to do this by dropping stone chargers AKA NUKES on the opposing cities. But wait, there's more! 2 more armies appear!

Meanwhile in the Legion of Doom, Yawgmoth's new planeswalker friend calls him out. So, he did what any civilized person would do. Scrambled her brain with a powerstone dagger and held her prisonoer to dissect and see if he could find her planeswalker-majiggit. (aka planeswalker spark)

Meanwhile in the Legion of Somewhat Less Doom, the Mayor dies, and Rebbec is crushed. She finds the pieces of the power stone and FINALLY!!!! realizes that Yawgmoth is evil. Her grief isn't too bad because her husband actually lives in the powerstones now and is talking to her, giving her an impossible mission.

Final Battle Time! So Yawgs is having fun bombing the opposing army when his blimp gets hindenberg'd by friendly fire. He is kinda angry about this, but survived because of his high armor rating.

The following is a summary of the battle. NukenukeNUKEnukenukenuke.....Nuke.

The Null Sphere, the artifact that controls all the powerstones, is trying to gain altitude to absorb the Death Cloud that the nukes created. They actually plan go too high and run out of air so the artifacts aren't under Yawgmoth's control anymore.

Rebbec tries to herd everyone up onto the floating bioshock style city, and the people all die because of the death cloud, Except for Rebbec. Yawgmoth sees this and leads the rest of the Thran to Phyrexia to become hatchling fodder.

So about that impossible mission. Her husband tells her to reunite the power stones and put them on a pedestal near the Planar Portal . And so, Rebbec does something worse than friend-zoning Yawgmoth (which she should've done in the first place) by locking him out of dominaria and then killing herself in the radiation.

October 13, 2013 2:12 a.m.

bootsncatsn says... #29

wait what did Ajani do? You lost me at flipping tables.

October 13, 2013 10:38 a.m.

movarie says... #30

love it not exactly what happed but close enough lol

October 24, 2013 1:26 a.m.

bootsncatsn says... #31

thats a lot of history...

October 29, 2013 12:37 a.m.

it was supposed to be brief. lol. That's what I get for writing stories. Happens every time

October 29, 2013 7:57 a.m.

KrazyCaley says... #33

@Femme_Fatale - I'll do the reading if someone else does the typography.

@bootsncatsn - Supposedly Ajani knew he was no match for Bolas, so he "summoned Bolas' soul" to fight him. What this means, I have no idea, but it sounds suspiciously like killing Bolas with Clone. If I were Bolas I'd be pissed, flip the table, and never play against Ajani again.

November 1, 2013 3:06 p.m.

Clone is better. Even Ajani would be smart enough to splash blue for it.

:P

November 2, 2013 2:41 a.m.

Great way to tell the history of Jace... ah, of MTG. That post is awesome, KrazyCaley. Way too good for going unseen to most, reposting it as an article would be well deserved.

February 23, 2014 8:54 p.m.

ALRIGHT, EVERYBODY GO HOME! KrazyCaley WON TAPPEDOUT AND MAGIC FOR ALL TIME.

February 24, 2014 8:15 a.m.

Arthdirith says... #37

My big question is, are there novels for the newer blocks or have they done away with them or replaced the somehow? I really want to read more on Innistrad and Ravnica.

March 31, 2014 8:23 p.m.

This discussion has been closed