Just Chatting - Take 3
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Posted on April 24, 2015, 4:02 p.m. by Didgeridooda
Third time's a charm.
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Femme_Fatale says... #2
The study on male sexuality says otherwise. We know most of what defines female sexuality, but male sexuality is very much shrouded in uncertainty as the belief that there isn't anything to it is perpetuated among men themselves.
April 27, 2015 1:13 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #4
And Scorprix, there is a very specific reason why men watch porn. I've actually covered it in extensive length in the "sexual alters" thread a few weeks back. Let me go do a copy-pasta for ya.
April 27, 2015 1:14 a.m.
Because we get aroused over very simple things (at least, about 2/3 of all men statistically), we do indeed watch more porn then women. I'm not saying that I do; I'm not most men.
April 27, 2015 1:14 a.m.
I was reading pornhub's analytic pages recently. The gender ratio is tighter than you'd think... It's an interesting read. I'd link to it if I wasn't afraid of introducing some poor young soul to what the secks looks like.
April 27, 2015 1:16 a.m.
Uh... so i disagree Scorprix. Like, really, really disagree. If something's escalated to an argument with the gf, it's because it's something I feel is really important. Something I feel needs to be addressed, like right the fuck now. If she started playing with herself right in front of me, i wouldn't be getting aroused, i'd be getting even more agitated and annoyed because she clearly isn't be giving a shit about what I had to say. Even more so if it was one of those private, whispered conversations in public where you are trying to not attract attention. No fucking way is that happening in public. That would be a huge slap in the face, and would definitely, definitely NOT work.
April 27, 2015 1:16 a.m.
kyuuri117, I feel like the term "argument" is being used loosely here. Probably a more accurate term would be disagreement.
April 27, 2015 1:18 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #12
I'll do it in point form. This is the three main points that define male psychological sexual response. IE: when (and/or why) you are observing sexual stimuli that doesn't result into sexual contact with another.
- The preference for visual stimuli.
- The objectification of said visual stimuli.
- The projection of one's self into the situation of which the visual stimuli is in.
April 27, 2015 1:19 a.m.
Defpotec Yea you're prob right. Like if it's her turn to cook or do the laundry and she's tired and doesn't wanna do it that's one thing and clearly that isn't gonna bother me. But if it's something serious, you know, that has led to an actual argument, then no way.
April 27, 2015 1:20 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #14
sex is overrated tee bee 8ch
feels good
done
feels good
done
April 27, 2015 1:21 a.m.
Yea, I probably should have worded myself differently.
And in my case it's more about what movie to watch or simple things like that...
April 27, 2015 1:22 a.m.
kyuuri117 I'd like to agree, but usually I try not to escalate an argument. I personally loathe arguing with my gf, because it puts me in a position where I could potentially become mad at her. So if she wanted to end an argument, I'd let the argument end. Whether or not I'd be aroused just depends on how I feel that day.
April 27, 2015 1:25 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #19
Which is why men enjoy watching porn, strippers be it real or online through camming. And it is specifically men, as most women do not buy porn in this regard. A woman looks at porn for different reasons. Men watch and view porn/strippers because they have a preference for visual stimuli. Then they objectify said visual stimuli for reasons currently unknown, but this is shown in how women in porn aren't seen as anything but sex objects. Finally, the projection of one's self into the media of the visual stimulation probably could be explained because the man wants to be in that position. You see this with the camera always being at the view point of a man. Men's faces are rarely ever seen and especially one on one is where the woman is constantly looking at the camera "as if you are there". In this you could explain the second point to an extent, in that objectifying the visual stimuli sort of allows men to feel less guilty about desiring that stimuli, particularly when they are in relationships. Or it could be because the objectification makes them more likely to engage in sex as things like morals and emotional obligations aren't considered when objectification occurs.
April 27, 2015 1:26 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #20
The act of desiring sex is kinda like foreign to me.
Sure, i've been in "the mood" but like why the hell do people desire it soooo much and seemingly all the time.
April 27, 2015 1:27 a.m.
6tennis Obviously i don't want things to escalate to an argument either, and frankly i'm glad that we don't have many. I'm just saying that if something DID escalate to an argument, and tempers were flaring... that would not help. At all.
April 27, 2015 1:28 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #24
Females basically have the same end result that males do, but approached from a more "complicated" angle. For the average female the basic rundown of their psychological sexual response is that a woman's need for intimacy prompts them to engage in sexual stimuli, which leads to sexual desire and a heightened psychological sexual arousal. This psychological arousal, or sexual cognition increases hormones in women. In other words, sexual thoughts increases testosterone levels which in turn cause physiological arousal.
Basically, this defines why you "talk a girl up" at a bar to get in her panties. You are prompting her to have sexual thoughts which in turn turns her on physically, making her want sex.
This applies to porn in a similar way. A woman looks at porn, thinks of something naughty, her fantasies kick in to extrapolate on her psychological sexual arousal, and then she gets physically aroused. End result, is the same.
April 27, 2015 1:29 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #25
I could go without it to be sure. If only I could erase the "need" for it..heheh
April 27, 2015 1:29 a.m.
Varm, YES. YESYESYESYESYES.
Scorprick, I think what Varm is referring to is how while sex gives great pleasure, each sexual exploit (courtesy link to Minister of Pain) is (on average) 12 minutes. Within such a short timeframe, Varm (i think) believes that sex isn't worth it, unless it's done a LOT.
April 27, 2015 1:29 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #27
I'd rather rewrite the desire to do it at all Tennis but yeah that's the gist
April 27, 2015 1:30 a.m.
VA - In terms of casually with a non-committed partner, I agree. As far as in a deeply committed relationship, it's about more than the act itself, so in that sense I very strongly disagree.
April 27, 2015 1:31 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #29
Okay, Scorprix, here's the layman terms. Men prefer visual stimuli. Men objectify said visual stimuli because it helps bypass the man's morals, obligations and emotions to encourage them to engage in sex. Finally, men project themselves into said visual stimuli as if they were there because it helps to appease their sexual desire.
April 27, 2015 1:32 a.m.
Really? You only last 12 minutes? I'm sorry if that's my overall takeaway, but I'm honestly surprised.
April 27, 2015 1:32 a.m.
Sex is exercise, exercise releases endorphin's, male orgasms release the chemicals norepinephrine, serotonin, and oxytocin, among others, into your bloodstream and make you drowsy and relaxed. Add to that an emotional attachment if it's with someone you care about, and that's why people like sex. Our bodies are literally hardwired to desire it.
April 27, 2015 1:33 a.m.
You're right VampireArmy. Really wish it wasn't there like an itch I can't quite reach by myself. I honestly wish it was more a legitimate expression of emotion than an impulse... But hey, that's our screwed up male psychology for you.
April 27, 2015 1:35 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #36
See there is the catch. I'm an entirely emotionally detached person. Yes I love my girlfriend but she's about as far as I go in terms of connecting with people.
It's very hard to do those things at times considering I get little to no emotional reward.
April 27, 2015 1:36 a.m.
xD Sex talk on a nerd forum, Femme_Fatale. What did you expect?
April 27, 2015 1:36 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #38
Defpotec : My condition has nothing to do with being male.
April 27, 2015 1:37 a.m.
Well of course! If people didn't like it thre would be far fewer children, and since children are weak, you'd body wants multiple. Since your body was built for life 20,000 years ago, most children would die, you your body would try to make you have as many as possible.
April 27, 2015 1:38 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #40
Interestingly enough, the reasons you guys dislike your sexuality is a contributing reason that I and many other MTF/MTH trans folk wish to transition to the other gender: To achieve better control over our sexual desires.
Science apparently doesn't believe that it is an uncontrollable desire (not enough research in other words, ideas are incomplete and inconsistent), and that it more or less has to do with some form of emotional desire.
April 27, 2015 1:39 a.m.
Sorry, Scorprix. Does "intellectually inclined" appeal more? Haha.
I was more trying to make a joke at my own expense.
April 27, 2015 1:42 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #43
I'm a geek technically since I know more about video games and magic cards than actual things in the world.
Also Femme, I'm not sure I understood that last part. emotional vs uncontrollable? seems like an oxymoron to me.
April 27, 2015 1:43 a.m.
Then I guess you could call me a neek - a nerd geek. Or a gerd. idk lol
April 27, 2015 1:46 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #45
bleh. I'm a little over worked and delirious so sorry if i make no sense and sound bitter
April 27, 2015 1:52 a.m.
I dunno if i agree with the whole "men need visual stimulation" thing. My girlfriend really likes erotic lit and likes me to read it to her (thankfully not the garbage found at barnes and nobel, actual well written stuff you can find online), and i've found myself really liking it as well. Definitely does what it's supposed to do, and is a ton of fun to read together. Porn works and all that but definitely not as fun as a good erotic novel.
Maybe that's just me, but i think that stereotyping an entire gender, saying males need visual stimulation because a few studies say so, seems wrong. Also, a lot of us guys lie in these psych studies. It's not like we want to come across as not normal. Sorry if too much info but i think this is a pretty neat discussion. Also happy to pass along new ideas for people to try in their relationships.
April 27, 2015 1:56 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #48
Ignore the need part. Use the word prefer and apply the terms of standard deviation.
April 27, 2015 1:58 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #49
You can also derive the evidence from how lucrative the sex industry is. Men will pay a lot of money for various types of porn.
April 27, 2015 2:02 a.m.
Yea but it's not like it's an 85/15 percent split on the porn industry, it's more like 60/40 (that is of course assuming your age bracket is like 14-45, not 18-65). Using men, who's partners have reached menopause, in the whole "men watch more porn than women" study isn't fair. They shouldn't be included, but they are in the studies you've read.
VampireArmy says... #1
I have strong feeling against this.
Men are not simple. We like to say we are.
April 27, 2015 1:12 a.m.