Just Chatting - Take 3
Social forum
Posted on April 24, 2015, 4:02 p.m. by Didgeridooda
Third time's a charm.
Remember to please post Magic-related discussions in separate threads as appropriate. This thread is for non-MTG or very casual discussions; we want to foster new and continual game discussion across the rest of the site as well.
Admin Note:
Attention Modern players! There's a new Modern Chat. Please use that thread to discuss Modern-related things.
Attention Standard players! There's a new Standard Chat. Please use that thread to discuss Standard-related things.
Don't worry Va you will find someone. Casual dating is something that most people can't do. Simply having the fact that after July I may never see this girl again haunts me everyday. But I don't think that it will stop me from dating again. I have faith in you VA, I understand that you have a rough past but you can still do it.
May 2, 2015 1:09 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #4
I have someone. I just don't discount that there may always be a day that ends. I can live with that future. Don't worry about the long distance thing. If it works it works great if it doesn't you'll only need to not be blind to that and move along.
May 2, 2015 1:13 a.m.
What's the advantage of becoming asexual VA? None. Giving up is just weak and cowardly.
May 2, 2015 1:17 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #6
I haven't given up on anything. I just find very select people people bearable in real life let alone get in bed with anyone.
May 2, 2015 1:18 a.m.
DERPLINGSUPREME says... #7
...not the best motivational words...
...french...
...stereotypes...
May 2, 2015 1:19 a.m.
I understand that completely. I have this really self destructive thing that with most of my friends that I have I end up pushing them away after about a year. I've been lucky to have the group of friends that I have now, they have been around the longest because they didn't let me push them away and I love them for it.
May 2, 2015 1:29 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #9
Well yeah it's hard to keep up when you live 100s of miles away
May 2, 2015 1:30 a.m.
CanadianShinobi says... #11
Oh we got on to dating.... I've dated a fair bit, but... shrug nothing came of it. I feel rather broken considering everything.
Anyway,Femme_Fatale what you consier "East Canada" I consider "central-east" consider I live in Ontario. East for us is Newfoundland, PEI, Nova Scotia and New Brunswick.
May 2, 2015 1:55 a.m.
Canadian what do you think about what I said earlier with the way we treat women. Also interested in frenchy and chief's two cents.
May 2, 2015 2 a.m.
CanadianShinobi says... #13
sirbar You'll have to link me the page. I have difficulty tracking these 50 comments pages. Also, I haven't been on the site much the past week or so, I just showed up when my name was mentioned. I'm sorry.
May 2, 2015 2:25 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #15
I haven't understood what you meant with "money involved", and who are these people "closing the door"?
In France, it's normal to invite the girl you date to drink, to have a dinner, to go to the cinema, etc... But there's a lot of cultural differences between us and our Swiss neighbors, so I don't really know.
In France, we have a lot of jokes about Belgian and Swiss people. And they don't like those. :>
May 2, 2015 3:35 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #16
It means being a gentleman elpokitolama. When going out in terms of a money-related date like a dinner, dance or a movie, do you open the door for the girl or let her do it herself?
I also have now realized the horrors of having wool clothing. Fuck. I hate having to hand wash stuff.
I NEED MORE WHITE TOWELS!
May 2, 2015 4:20 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #17
Oh, and has anyone ever seen pants dresses before? I have a couple here that are basically like wearing pants with the dress. It is really weird and yet, an incredible turn on to wear them. It's like getting a handjob or cunnilingus on the go because they dig in and rub all over.
The panties dress is especially a turn on, because you don't need to wear any panties with them XD (unless oncoming period).
May 2, 2015 4:54 a.m.
bijschjdbcd says... #20
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of Trans, Care to spell it out for me?
May 2, 2015 5:50 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #21
Of course, if I organize the date, then I'll open the door myself! But since I'm not a sexist douche, I'll let her do some things, like washing the dishes for exemplOF COURSE I'M KIDDING DON'T KILL ME T/O GIRLS
But in France, both part are inviting the other one, it's not always the man that invites the woman (or at least in Paris).
May 2, 2015 5:50 a.m.
bijschjdbcd says... #22
In my very small amount of experience being a gentlemen doesn't help. But that's probably primarily in high school.
May 2, 2015 5:54 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #23
Personnaly, I really don't give a damn if it helps or not: it's just a way to be, and a proof of the respect you're feeling toward the person you're dating. I can't even imagine acting disrespectful on purpose (exept for a few jokes of course) :p
May 2, 2015 5:58 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #24
Being a gentleman doesn't get you in the girl's pants, and nor does it really get you in a relationship, something highschool girls certainly are after.
In terms of me describing my trans status, I really don't want to. It's 3 am and I'm still doing laundry. Fuck, I'm still trying to debate on whether or not I should wash this rayon dress or if that will destroy it. I can't dry clean it so I'm kinda screwed here.
May 2, 2015 6:01 a.m.
bijschjdbcd says... #25
Again in my very limited experience being kind and caring has got me absolutely nowhere, Whereas another person being a major dick and not investing in a relationship at all is enjoying the benefits.
Not definitive by amy means and I agree, I couldn't not be a 'gentlemen' to someome I cared about.
May 2, 2015 6:04 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #27
I will agree with bijschjdbcd that being kind and caring certainly doesn't get you anywhere with teenagers. People who are kind and caring are not sexually identifiable (as in, you don't see them having sex, so that turns you off), and are considered to be too much of an investment for a relationship to work. The dicks get the action because they are easy. Easy to start a sex night with and easy to get into a relationship with. Kind guys take effort, something that young people aren't looking to put forth.
It gets better though, because as people get older they will want to invest in more long term relationships, which is where your kindness and caring shines. Wait till the thirties.
May 2, 2015 6:13 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #28
I agree completly with all of you, because I lived it more than once... xP
But yeah, I can't see myself being a dick just to put into a girl for a night. I'm the kind of people that can't help but to think about what comes after. If all of this stuff is to be thrown away in a matter of mounths, then it's not even worth.
This situation is really strange to live... Because my own pride is telling me that I am better than this. And yet there's no achievement to prove it to myself and I often end up despressed. I hate those "cool" guys. Just because they're smoking weed and being "anticonformist", everybody likes them. And most of the time, they're really are a bunch of dumb assholes with a fucking lot of charisma... >,<
May 2, 2015 6:45 a.m.
Y'all already know I'm a gentleman. To be honest I think it works if you find the write girl.
May 2, 2015 6:58 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #32
If you want to find the write girl, just go to a video club :p
May 2, 2015 7:01 a.m.
Yeh. I've never read such a load of bollocks before in my entire life. But biases gonna bias.
"all women do this". "all men should do this".
May 2, 2015 7:01 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #34
Sorry Chief, but this ain't no bias when every sexually active girl I've talked to says the same thing in regards to how men should behave if they are trying to get into a girl's pants. You have to be sexually forward in order to titillate her fantasies (think, "talking a girl up" at bars), you can't do that when you are trying to be a gentleman. Further, men trying to be gentlemen just turns a girl off. And in the teenage years (from 15 to 25), for a large majority of girls, sexual activity goes hand in hand with relationships, and it is really hard to succeed in one but yet fail in the other. Older women are more likely to prefer those that are kind because they want a longer relationship, and have learned that the dicks don't give that long term value, since the blur between lust and love becomes unveiled at the later stages of relationships and of ages. They are also more likely to teach their man how to behave in terms of sexual activity, in the act and in how to get you to kick start it up.
May 2, 2015 7:21 a.m.
bijschjdbcd says... #35
I see merit in what you are saying Femme, But I am over in ChiefBell's camp for this one, The logical side of me refuses to accept that this is a trair that can be generalised to the entire population of 15-25 year old girls. That same logic gives me hope, And intimate intentions cannot be the only thing driving the want for a relationship, Whilst that curiosity is certainly more prevelant because of hormones, some people must want relationships for other reasons.
May 2, 2015 7:33 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #37
I agree with bqsifqfvhqsbf! But we have to take a look at the cultural/educational aspect before the chemical one, shouldn't we?
May 2, 2015 8:22 a.m.
Femme_Fatale - Going from 'every girl I have talked to' to 'every girl' IS generalising.
Gentlemen can be forward. You've created a dichotomy that doesn't exist. You can be sexually forward but still not a prick.
"Men trying to be gentlemen turns girls off". What ALL of them? Every single one? Because it doesn't in my experience. That's a load of rubbish.
You are creating a false binary between 'nice and wanting a relationship' and 'sexually adventurous'. These entities can coexist.
I had a slew of girlfriends throughout high school, and later I dated extensively in university. There is no one characteristic that turns all woman on, or all woman off. Acting as if there is is beyond stupid. I was a 'nice guy' (and still am) and that's the approach I have always taken. However, I am also very sexually aware and inclined. You can be polite, and a gentlemen but still know how to move things forward. It's a healthy dose of the genteel along with the confident. I have first hand experience that this is something that is favoured by some women. I think lots of people try way, way, way too hard to be something. They really put a lot of effort into attempting to present themselves a certain way when they're not naturally inclined to do so. This is inherently stressful and deceitful. If you just be a normal, well adjusted human being then you should have no problems.
May 2, 2015 8:25 a.m.
elpokitolama - Neither society, nor biology is truly deterministic. Which is to say that we all have pressures to behave in certain ways, and sometimes these pressures are really bloody strong, but they're not 100% guarantees that you WILL absolutely do that thing.
It's also well proven from a biology perspective that adolescents (men and women) are MORE engaged by emotional responses than older adults. So this whole 'older women prefer emotional stuff and younger prefer sexual' is actually not even scientifically supported. During the adolescent period your midbrain is more active than it'll ever be at any other point in your life. You are SUPER vulnerable to sadness, depression, anger, frustration (hence the whole 'moody teenager' thing). On the flip side you are also really motivated to go out and find happy, fulfilling, good emotional content. Sex certainly fulfils these criteria (you get roughly the same reward from sex as you do from compliments in terms of what happens in your brain) but that is not to say that engaging on a verbally emotional level is NOT valid. It is. Teenagers are literally biologically driven to form emotional connections with things.
May 2, 2015 8:33 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #40
We're discussion about non-exact sciences, so it is kinda given that no one is determined at 100% to follow the steps of the people he lived with. But as a living and intelligent being, what you are is completely determined by what you lived, and by your education (I'm talking here of school+parents+friends+any important event that occured and might have influenced you in some ways). Would Baschar El-Assad use his intelligence which is far above the average to commit war crimes and justify himself before the International Community eyes if he wasn't treated like the son of a living god? Same goes for our ol' friend Kim Jong Un.
I know this is really awful to say this, but the North Corean case is the biggest sociological experiment of all times. Children are denouncing their parents even if they know that they are going to be killed. Why? Mainly ecause nobody ever learned them that it was wrong to do so.
Why did the post WW1 Germany vote for the Nazis? Mainly because they suffered an incredible humiliation with the Treaty of Versailles.
The list is as long as there are human being who lived. You can't be what you've never seen.
May 2, 2015 8:50 a.m.
elpokitolama says... #41
We're discussing*, looks like I'm so used to the "Preview your COmment" thing that I no longer pay attemption to it. x)
May 2, 2015 8:52 a.m.
FAMOUSWATERMELON says... #42
And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what the French system of education teaches us :)
May 2, 2015 8:52 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #43
IT'S 6:30 AM AND I STILL HAVEN'T FINISHED LAUNDRY!
I've been doing it for 8 hours now ... I'm almost done... I need another closet. And another dresser. I have too many clothes. Too many shoes too, 20 pairs.
May 2, 2015 9:23 a.m.
elpokitolama - Very little of what you just wrote is true but I cba to correct you here.
May 2, 2015 9:31 a.m.
VampireArmy says... #47
Asking a woman why she needs shoes. That's a bold move, cotton.
May 2, 2015 9:40 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #48
You are over generalizing what I'm saying ChiefBell ... when I say gentlemen, I mean men who are too kind and caring and aren't sexually forward. Hence "gentle". And as for the girls, I said sexually active, and continue to mention those types of girls. I also did not once EVER say that older women prefer emotional stuff. I said that they are more likely to go for the men who are kind and caring because those men are more likely to hold a long term relationship.
Beyond that, it's 6:30 in the morning so I haven't slept for 23 hours. I can hardly be expected to write a reliable counter-argument in this tired state.
May 2, 2015 9:40 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #49
I got them all for free FAMOUSWATERMELON. Would you turn down perfectly functional shoes that fit you for free?
May 2, 2015 9:41 a.m.
Femme_Fatale says... #50
You know what feels nice? A fresh clean warm blanket on a chilly morning :3
DERPLINGSUPREME says... #1
NO!
WATCH MORE PORN, DAMMIT!
May 2, 2015 12:51 a.m.