My theory
Spoilers, Rumors, and Speculation forum
Posted on Sept. 16, 2014, 5:50 p.m. by TheRedDude
So, we know time travel, and that sarkhan is involved. i think that they will save Ugin. Yay hooray happy ending! oh and i also believe that SARKHAN WILL DIE! Bolas will want revenge on whoever this weird little shaman is, so does some scrying or whatever, kills his parent or grandparent or ancestor or whatever to get back at him, causing him to never get born, but due to Sarkhan causing this, he still would exist in order to cause his own downfall and Ugin's salvation. It will also have ripple effects that will replace everyone on Lowryn with ducks and Phyrexia with a pastry. Is that last bit too out there?
TheRedDude says... #3
no the third set is when they find out about the pastry and ducks
September 16, 2014 5:54 p.m.
What? Am I the only one who though this first set was about pastry and ducks? Damn it, I'm so bad at understanding lore!
September 16, 2014 6:02 p.m.
GoldGhost012 says... #5
What? Am I the only one who thought this would be a Flashpoint-style block? Where do the pastries and duck come into play there?
September 16, 2014 6:06 p.m.
what if the ripple causes a pastry flavored duck * cue inception music * 0.o
September 16, 2014 7:20 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #9
I thought this was gonna be about dolphin flavored koala pancakes.
September 16, 2014 7:57 p.m.
canterlotguardian says... #10
As long as the pastries are strawberry or cherry (or hell, blueberry) danishes, I'm ok with this.
September 16, 2014 7:59 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #13
Since everyone's advertising their decks now...
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September 16, 2014 8:09 p.m.
gnarlicide says... #16
As long sarkhan doesn't go back in time and his mother starts digging him, like in back to the future...
That would be weird.
September 16, 2014 8:17 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #17
Or has sex with his grandma and becomes his own grandpa like in futurama @gnarlicide
September 16, 2014 8:22 p.m.
canterlotguardian says... #18
Back to the Futurama: The Second Time Around's The Best
September 16, 2014 8:24 p.m.
canterlotguardian says... #20
FEEL ME MY ANGER'S GONE I DON'T BREATHE I ONLY HAVE A SON-
oh wait, that wasn't an unintentional Oceana reference? my bad. :P
September 16, 2014 8:27 p.m.
And kamigawa will all be the easily-slaughterable 1/1 soldier tokens to appease the mighty Storm Crow .
September 16, 2014 8:44 p.m.
And here comes Storm Crow . Congratulations, this semi-serious thread has quickly degenerated into one of thee silliest ones in the last few days (not that I'm opposed to that).
September 16, 2014 9:42 p.m.
00xtremeninja says... #23
With all of the time travel, the perfect storm will brew, a tempest if you will. BOOM! MOTHER FUCKING WASTELAND REPRINT. CREAM YOUR PANTIES MODERN PLAYERS
September 16, 2014 10:17 p.m.
Wait, does that mean Bender will be the next colorless planeswalker and the dragons of tarkir will be rendered into pop tarts? Something bout a duck too... I'm confused. Oh, is there something that makes duck tokens?
September 16, 2014 11:24 p.m.
biggestmtgnerd says... #25
Notice how the block name is huey, duey, and louie... the color of their shirts are RGB, but only the first set has a wedge them. What if each set is based upon the keyword in some shape or form? Sarkahn goes back in time, and wants to save the dragons. The dragons are doomed, so he instead consults the all-mighty Storm Crow , who turns every human into a duck, because it turns out that storm crow was actually a duck, which explains his extreme power. Dragons win, Ainok take control of Temur and Azban and combine the clans to form BRGW Temazban, Ugin kills the Eldrazi, and the last set has a duck theme. However, Bolas has a spell placed on him so that he can remember anything even in the face of temporal change. He goes over to the phyrexians and finds out that ducks (because all ducks are planeswalkers) were migrating to Lorwyn (phyrexian territory. The pyrexian contagion caused the transformation phenomenon). He tries to learn more, but the phyrexians are stupid and don't know anything else. He gets angry and transforms Phyrexia into a pastry. He then eats the pastry, making him the father of the machines. Since Storm Crow is the father of machines (and everyone on Tappedout worships Storm crow. Including me. I am a proud phyrexian) that make Nicol Bolas Storm crow, and therefore he knows everything. He go's over and, through Ugin's Nexus , he travels back in time and curses Sarkahn so that he loses all temporal protection that the nexus grants (because the nexus grants protection so that the person doesn't create a paradox). Since Sarkahn has no more protection, his parents give birth to him in the future with him as a duck. Since ducks think differently from normal humans, duck-sarkahn doesn't go through the nexus and let the dragons win, making it so that the people are no-longer ducks, making it so that Sarkahn does go through the nexus, creating a paradox. Since Bolas got temporal protection because he used the nexus, he is unaffected by the paradox, and when the paradox rips a hole in the space-time continuum, energy leaks out of the hole. Bolas absorbs that energy until finally he becomes Storm crow 2.0 (note how "the new storm crow" was printed in Khans. A portent). He then uses his new power to mend the hole, undo the mending (but only for himself), absorb the spark of every other planeswalker, and becomes the ruler of the multiverse for all of eternity. And life would be good living under him, because what could possibly go wrong with an up-graded post-mending Nicol Bolas-father of machines-storm crow combo.
September 18, 2014 8:44 a.m.
TheRedDude says... #27
But you forgot that Tarmogoyf and Dark Confidant would eat all pies on Phyrexia, making Bolas feel that life is not worth living and jump off the sky.
September 18, 2014 3:33 p.m.
This fucking website. I swear to god literally all of you are permanently high.
Hey fluffybunnypants. There's gotta be something in here worth putting on your wall.
September 19, 2014 9:53 p.m.
InconspicuousPotato says... #32
But before Bob eats all the pie, Jar Jar Binks comes in and annoys everyone to death.
September 20, 2014 1:18 a.m.
Its_Johnny_Bravo says... #33
Ah thats right.. I totally forgot about the new Jar Jar simic planeswalker.. do you think fnm will do a promo?
September 20, 2014 6:52 a.m.
fluffybunnypants says... #35
Dear lord, where do I start on this thread?
September 23, 2014 7:12 a.m.
TheRedDude says... #37
i forgot to say this will also create a plague of GoGurt which will spread across Dominaria, destroying all the trees and turning people into more GoGurt
September 23, 2014 3:50 p.m.
TheRedDude says... #38
why did no one focus on the serious part of the thread?
September 28, 2014 10:28 a.m.
GlistenerAgent says... #39
You kind of shot yourself in the foot with that last line. If you want people to be serious, you be serious.
September 28, 2014 12:25 p.m.
TheRedDude says... #40
the last part was to prevent sarkhan lovers from getting sad/mad/rad.
September 28, 2014 4:31 p.m.
yep, wait for MaRo's official announcement. Duel Deck: Pastry vs Spaghetti coming soon!
September 29, 2014 9 a.m.
Pastry and spaghetti aside, what I want to see is Phyrexia and the Edrazi duke it out.
...Or maybe Bolas will infect the Eldrazi with Phrexia. That would be sick nasty.
September 30, 2014 4:56 p.m.
Only on the alternate Multiverse where Sarkhan's dead.
September 30, 2014 5:03 p.m.
TheRedDude says... #48
but that will happen, according to the laws of something or other
September 30, 2014 5:09 p.m.
Yes, but it will split off the the Multiverse and create an alternate Multiverse with Pastria and Duckwyn instead of Sarkhan. And, um, spaghetti is there too. The other Multiverse will remain unchanged. Didn't you take Temporal Anomalies 101?
September 30, 2014 5:17 p.m.
TheRedDude says... #50
I also took Universal Complications 102. Since reality will follow the future determined by its past, the other Multiverse will only be reachable by the Multiverse we follow through more time travel. So, unless Wizards enters more time travel or an alternate reality, we will only know what is going on in the Pastria Multiverse
ChiefBell says... #2
So the second set is about pastry and ducks? I'm on board.
September 16, 2014 5:52 p.m.