Seriously?
TappedOut forum
Posted on Feb. 26, 2014, 6:02 p.m. by The Doctor
I got a snarky comment from Behgz on my deck, and opened up his profile before removing it because I don't need that kinda shit on my profile. I was then greeted with the following message.
"This user is no longer interested in interacting with you. Any efforts you make to communicate with this user through this site can lead to a permanent ban. If enough users block you, you will be removed from this site"
Are we for real on this? I'm receiving a warning because some kid commented on my deck and decided to block me?
Ohthenoises says... #2
Behgz this wasn't a thread meant to bash you. This is a thread written to express the confusion of why someone would comment on a deck owned by someone that you blocked.You just happened to be the one that did it in this case.
It's very easy to get along with people on this site, I've been doing it for two years now. The ticket to getting along on the internet can basically be summed up by this post:
February 27, 2014 4:20 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #3
yeaGO! I think I remember Master. That was..... Interesting...
February 27, 2014 4:25 p.m.
Didgeridooda says... #4
Ohthenoises lets be honest though. It kinda was a thread aimed at him. At least it is cleared up now, and we know he did not just comment then block.
February 27, 2014 4:26 p.m.
Ohthenoises your prowess of imgur never ceases to amaze me.
February 27, 2014 4:27 p.m.
NobodyPicksBulbasaur says... #6
Part of the issue here was that the initial post singled out a user who hadn't done anything wrong at the time. It wasn't saying anything bad about him per se, but it did make his name big and shiny for a while. If a specific user isn't at the heart of the issue, there's really no reason to link their name.
February 27, 2014 4:29 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #8
Didgeridooda I think it was less of a "he is an idiot" and more of a "this can really happen?" but it never said anything about Behgz aside from "left a snarky comment". I'd like to think that there isn't any targeting going on here just giving back story. It could have been said differently but hey, who's perfect?
Behgz it's not meant to be mean, I just use this as my own guide when I start to get aggrivated on the interwebz.
February 27, 2014 4:31 p.m.
@Ohthenoises I get why this thread is being spared from the axe, but in the future, threads that negatively call out specific users for 'x' reason, shouldn't be allowed. If you have a justifiable complaint about someone, go through the proper channels to deal with it. Posting a thread calling out another user should Never be accepted. It entices angry mob type posts, like I received from the doctor, in a previous thread similar to this one, and it prompted THIS occurrence. The Doctor and I had never interacted prior to him talking trash that day because he saw a thread flaming me already in full swing and he chose to join in. Which led directly to me remembering him and his attitude toward me, I saw his attempt at a MBD netdeck list and I couldn't help myself from busting his chops, without being a jerk, I might add, I simply said, "nice mono-black devotion deck with cards from born of the gods, I see you have 16 cards in the sb, if you had to cut one what would it be?'
That, coupled with the fact that I had blocked him weeks prior prompted him to make this thread. I'm gonna throw a hypothetical your way; what if I hadn't blocked him, what if he left Me a snarky response in response to my initial comment on his page, I guarantee you I would've ripped him a new one, brutally. The fact that I had the foresight to block this user weeks ago proves that the user block function is in place for a reason.
Obviously I could've just not said anything, but as I'm attempting to draw full circle, the first time this happened residual negative vibes were produced and lingered until this very day, I'll say it again, these threads that call out specific user's for 'x' reason should Not be allowed.
February 27, 2014 5:15 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #10
In your hypothetical situation, why do you have to retaliate? Why can't you just, as you put it, " go through the proper channels to deal with it."?
February 27, 2014 5:26 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #12
Again, your hypothetical situation entails that you make a comment on a deck belonging to a user that you know that you have had issues with, then that user retaliates by leaving a snarky comment on your wall. Why would you then not use the proper channels?
February 27, 2014 5:29 p.m.
I'd attempt to resolve the issue on our profile page walls, but at no point would I make a forum thread publicly calling out another user.
I left him a comment on his deck page, snarky or otherwise, it wasn't a negative comment, as I've quoted it in this very thread. As booty-tickling as the comment may have been, it wasn't a flat out declaration of war. It was meant to ruffle his feathers, which it did, so I got what I wanted out of the encounter. Knowing the back story as to why it all happened brings clarity to an otherwise ridiculous scenario of events.
Really nothing left of this dead horse to kick around..
February 27, 2014 5:42 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #15
So in your hypothetical situation you would not have done the very thing that you are asking The Doctor to do? I see, I see...
February 27, 2014 5:45 p.m.
Didgeridooda says... #16
They were both just going for a little petty revenge. The best and most rewarding of the revenges.
February 27, 2014 5:48 p.m.
@Ohthenoises In that hypothetical, neither user is blocked, so the conversation on our walls COULD take place. In the real scenario, I blocked him. instead of making a public forum thread about this, he could have gone through the proper channels.
Why are you so set on painting me in a negative light here? Before you answer, I don't care. You were a part of the discussion the last time I was publicly called out in a forum and you certainly felt no qualms about joining the discussion this time around. Basically, your going to share your opinion constantly, and I'm just gonna have to learn to ignore it, your obviously not sympathizing with me or my position, essentially your turning into the next issue for me to deal with. I'll just go ahead and publicly ask you to leave me alone. No block required, how bout that. Wanna make a thread about it?
February 27, 2014 6:02 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #18
Behgz I have a hard time sympathizing with your side of things because of one, basic, fact. You initiated the issue with The Doctor, you left a comment specifically designed to get a rise out of him. That is all.
February 27, 2014 6:09 p.m.
Accept that's not ALL, the doctor strait talked trash about me and I never forgot, much like I doubt you'll be forgetting This encounter. See ya around.
February 27, 2014 6:14 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #21
No, it wasn't against the rules. But then again what The Doctor has done isn't against the rules either.
You asked me why I can't sympathize for you and I told you why, you started this, and now you are reaping what you sow. If you can't take it, don't dish it out.
If all you want is for people to leave you alone why not just ignore snarkyness pointed at you and not troll people? Whenever people say mean things about me I just laugh, it's really not that hard to do.
February 27, 2014 6:14 p.m.
Considering the doctor Hasn't done anything wrong, your right.
Albeit I wasn't looking for sympathy before he made this thread.
February 27, 2014 6:21 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #23
I think the best thing to do for next time is to come on to a thread like this, make your point, then exit.
No one thinks less of you, if you have an issue that requires you block an individual I would suggest that you just don't interact with them from then on.
yeaGO! is there a way to have the same error message pop up for the blocker when he tries to comment on the deck? Is that even feasible?
February 27, 2014 6:27 p.m.
I know your just here helping Ohthenoises This is all because I chose to hold a grudge over something. If I knew it would go this far I wouldn't have said anything.
February 27, 2014 6:36 p.m.
In case anyone reading this hasn't figured it out yet, this has all been another example of someone being flamed on the internet, we've seen it a thousand times.
However, it's different this time, because this is supposed to be a community of welcoming, friendly user's who help each other better play the game of magic.
The first time I was publicly targeted on these message boards, a number of user's including The Doctor joined in what seemed like an impropmtu witch hunt after one user I had a disagreement with decided to make the conversation public.
The thread was eventually deleted because of how viciously my character was being attacked.
This is supposed to be a community of people who come together to better play the game of magic, I was saddened at the amount of people willing to drop their laurels and grab their pitchforks against someone they had never interacted with prior.
February 27, 2014 6:51 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #26
I heard that user called Behgz was behind the JFK assassination too...
:P
I class the worst users of the interwebs into these categories ( from least awful to most awful)
People who just had a bad day
People who have strong asperger-type personalities and have difficulties interacting socially
People who are paranoid/don't take criticism well
Psychopaths
Pretty sure the guy who bothers me on TO falls into the aspie category. This isn't meant to be an open criticism of people with aspergers, but I have a couple of aspie friends and I know the difficulties they have interacting with strangers. They're the first to admit it. Magic also seems to attract aspies, possibly because of the complex strategies involved.
February 27, 2014 7:43 p.m.
so two things, my brother has aspergers, and refering to people with it as 'aspies' is offensive.
February 27, 2014 8:05 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #28
Then why do most of the aspergers-related forums on the internet refer to people with aspergers as aspies? It's what both my aspergers friends prefer to be called, and they don't find it offensive at all. And as someone who is related to a person with aspergers, you must understand the personality differences.
I'm not saying this to be offensive, but through the experience of interacting with people who have aspergers I know they are more likely to have issues interacting, especially online where it's easier to take words out of context. If more people understood that, maybe they'd be more understanding when certain people online blow stuff out of proportion and recognize that they might not be able to help it.
February 27, 2014 8:17 p.m.
I think you have to respect the wishes of the individual.
February 27, 2014 8:18 p.m.
As a Psychologist in training, I've spent a lot of time with transsexual / transgender individuals. Some don't mind being called trannies. Some do. Each person is an individual with their own needs.
February 27, 2014 8:20 p.m.
That's true, let me rephrase my last comment.
I was offended when you used the term 'aspies' SharuumNyan
February 27, 2014 8:21 p.m.
gnarlicide says... #32
Hey, my popcorn is done! Anyone want some? Movie theatre butter.
February 27, 2014 8:22 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #33
Never once heard that the term aspie was offensive. It generally isn't. I just did a Google search, and when asked if the term was offensive every answer I saw was no.
Some white people don't like being called caucasian. Doesn't make the word offensive though.
February 27, 2014 8:28 p.m.
So if a mother just found out her 2 yr old child has asperger's, then walks their child through the park, you and your buddy walk by having a conversation where you 'affectionately' use the term 'aspies'. Is she gonna feel better about it because you don't think it's offensive when she overhear's you saying it, is she gonna feel affectionate towards that term after having just found out her child has been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome? Please stop defending the use of such a term like that and accept that it's probably not the most eloquent thing to be saying in the first place.
February 27, 2014 8:46 p.m.
Offense is in the eye of the beholder. If someone subjectively feels like a word is offensive then it is to them, no matter what anyone else thinks. Everyone has their own version of reality.
February 27, 2014 8:53 p.m.
gnarlicide says... #36
It wasn't a problem until 9/11, when everyone got all sensitive about it... Thanks a lot bin laden.
February 27, 2014 8:53 p.m.
@ChiefBell Offense is in the hands of the ball holder, *fixed (I'm super into fantasy hoops LoL)
February 27, 2014 8:58 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #38
I'm not going to deliberately avoid using a word just in case a mother with a recently diagnosed aspergers child happens to overhear me. Especially since I don't consider the word offensive, and the aspergers community generally doesn't consider it anything other than a shorten version of the name. Your scenario doesn't make any sense. I've even heard a psychologist use that term in a college class.
Most people I know with a medical condition (including myself) get more annoyed with those people who awkwardly try to walk on eggshells around it. Having aspergers is nothing to be ashamed of, but trying to hush it up or avoid nicknames for it, or even avoid talking about what it is openly, I feel does more harm than good, because it further alienates people with the condition.
February 27, 2014 9:13 p.m.
I was just trying to provide proof that there can and will be people who are offended by using the term 'aspies'. You can say/do whatever you want.
February 27, 2014 9:20 p.m.
I just googled and there ARE a few people who find it offensive. It also trivialises a serious issue by giving it a stupid nickname. Lastly, you don't stop doing something because you don't find it offensive, or you don't think it should be offensive - you stop doing it because other people find it offensive.
February 27, 2014 9:24 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #41
But the term was created BY the aspergers community to be a POSITIVE word. By definition it isn't offensive, and it isn't used with malicious intent. Look it up in the dictionary - there is no negative connotation. You could say that the word elephant is offensive, but it isn't.
I have two aspie friends - one a very close friend - and they prefer the term over being called "a person with aspergers." If one person on the internet who doesn't even have the condition finds it offensive, and two people I know IRL find it preferable, I'm not going to stop using it. Everything offends someone. Some magic players are offended by the color blue, but I still play it.
February 27, 2014 9:38 p.m.
I'm gonna have to stop short of agreeing with you there SharuumNyan.
February 27, 2014 9:51 p.m.
Various people taking offense here, some not - http://www.wrongplanet.net/postxf120613-0-0.html&sid=a7e69b7c2da82ec32b7d794bfc432d99
And here - http://forum.rpg.net/showthread.php?615366-quot-Aspie-quot-Seriously
And here - http://www.forumforpages.com/facebook/asperger-s-awareness-community/i-have-aspergers-and-i-hate-being-called-an-aspie/3250134257/2
Described as potentially offensive here too - http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.co.uk/p/disclaimers-and-definitions.html
You see the problem is that you're displaying two things.
Confirmatory bias - you've done something a few times so you now have the mistaken judgment that it's ok to repeat the action, when it may not be. Based on your limited experience it's NOT safe to assume anything.
(I'm guessing) white, male privilege. It's likely that you're white and male and know absolutely nothing about serious (as in really serious) discrimination such as sexism or racism. Because you haven't experienced these things you find it hard to understand just how damaging derogatory or even casual terms such as 'aspie' can be.
Let me give you an example - there are many words and references that circulate in the 'normal' community about transgendered individuals. Whilst they're not a big deal to us, when SOME transgendered people hear them, they become very upset. These words lead to marginalisation of those individuals. Not all transgendered people, just some. Did you know that depression and suicide rates are about 6x higher in transgendered people? Bet you didn't! The problem is that we live in a society that's so used to casually dismissing and triviliasing these people - we see nothing wrong with it! Some transgendered people choose to ignore it and move on - that's fine. But some are deeply hurt and offended, to the point where they don't feel like they can join society.
Asperger's is a multifaceted, severe, developmental, psychological disorder, that also leads to a high suicide rate. This is a group of individuals that AS ABOVE, feel ostracised and unable to function in the same way as the unaffected population in everyday life. Some of them are fine, and some of them aren't. When we say things to these people we have to be mindful of the challenges they face. To some people our words are harmless, to others they literally kill. Literally. I cannot stress this enough. When we marginalise certain aspects of our society we create massive social and psychological problems.
Please check your privilege.
February 27, 2014 9:53 p.m.
Ohthenoises says... #44
To be fair ChiefBell there are some people who believe in their heart that Brainstorm is an offensive word. I have no opinion on the matter currently being discussed but I will say that this world needs to stop getting offended FOR someone else. If the word is directed at you, fine, but if it isn't directed at you I kinda believe that only the "afflicted" have the right to be upset, everyone else needs to just let it go.
February 27, 2014 10:04 p.m.
Holy crap this conversation is going downhill faster than a head of cheese rolling down Cooper's Hill.
February 27, 2014 10:10 p.m.
Sometimes I feel like we have a duty of care as powerful people (in world terms - being white and male and from the USA or UK) to stop this kind of thing.
Obviously also, sometimes we don't.
If you know that the afflicted can take offence to someone then there's nothing wrong with saying, 'hey man, I don't think you should say that anymore.' if someone you know uses that term.
Imagine if people still widely used the N word about African Americans. Wouldn't you feel it would be right to just say, 'hey, that's not really cool, why don't we not do that?'. It's the same sort of principle but not as extreme. Sometimes it's good to stand up for people and help them.
I'd also like to say - I don't actively dislike anyone here. I don't think any less of SharuumNyan, and I'm not mad. I'm trying to calmly explain the way I feel. You're obviously welcome to disagree. I don't want to offend anyone or make anyone angry. I just want people to understand that sometimes it helps to stick up for others.
February 27, 2014 10:13 p.m.
I meant "take offence to SOMETHING", not - "take offence to SOMEONE"
February 27, 2014 10:14 p.m.
SharuumNyan says... #49
ChiefBell - your assumptions couldn't be any more wrong. As I already pointed out I have two friends with aspergers, so I'm VERY familiar with the condition. Also, I'm an immigrant, so I'm very familiar with discrimination. And I'm female. So, wrong on all counts.
The fact that I hang around with aspies and I'm so used to them means that I don't see it as something out of the ordinary or something I have to be delicate about. In my experience it's people who don't understand minorities/aspies/whatever who are more likely to get offended by this stuff. Protecting aspies from the world in case they get offened is the last thing my friends want. They just want to be accepted for who they are, not wrapped in cotton balls and treated with kidgloves because they're a little different.
Here's another example: My boss asked me to point out a customer to her. I told her "it's the black guy in the red shirt." She got really mad at me and said "you're supposed to use the term African American." My response? "You don't hang out with a lot of black people, do you?"
February 27, 2014 10:16 p.m.
I always got the impression you were female SharuumNyan until today when you started posting in this thread, so I can see why ChiefBell made the assumption he did.
ChiefBell says... #1
A bit of trolling every now and again is good for you
February 27, 2014 4:18 p.m.