New to MTG. Learning the ropes and such.

Subject name: Dustin Shane Roberts. Occupation: College freshman, Jehovah's Bystander, Professional Ball-Buster, Terrorist Hunter, BASEketball Champion, 80's Pornstar. Height: Ten feet tall. Weight: A fuckin' ton. Observations: Subject seems to be of the male persuasion, around 19 years of age. The subject appears to enjoy writing, making music on a six-stringed musical device, preparing edible foodstuffs, killing himself a little at a time on a treadmill, kicking the crap out of terrorists, zombies, randomly encountered boss monsters, and/or flesh eating Hezbollah commandos. Seems to have a bizzare obsession with Maruchan brand chicken-flavored, sodium-filled instant ramen noodles. Subject seems to be a coffee addict and insomniac. He makes terror sh*t it's pants and can make lead turn to gold by asking it nicely. On one occasion he sliced a skyscraper into sixty-seven pieces with a nine foot long katana, ran up the falling pieces and slam-dunked a giant sapphire into a sold platinum basketball hoop, gave God a high-five, then proceeded to have a White Russian with Billy Mays in his celestial smoking lounge made of Oxi-Clean in Valhalla.

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MTG Decks

The Colbert Special: Round 2 *FNM 1st!*

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SCORE: 4 | 27 COMMENTS | 1190 VIEWS | IN 2 FOLDERS

The Colbert Special

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SCORE: 3 | 11 COMMENTS | 1114 VIEWS | IN 1 FOLDER

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